A Flower Among Thorns
by SanctumAsylum
Summary: Relationships are all about compromise. But when Saki and Hatori discover each other for the first time, they learn it's less about compromise and more about growing up. Follows the Anime not the Manga.
1. Preface: Luck Be A Lady, Luck Be A Man

"_When the snow melts what does it become?"_

A glistening dew drop on the birth of a flower, rain could be the welcoming gift for spring. Soft, calm or even ruthless, rain was much like the moods of a woman. Be it mother-nature was content, rain could simply be a drizzle, encouraging life to sprout; be it mother-nature was sad, rain could be a steady downpour, relenting only when she had her good cry; be it mother-nature was angry, rain could be deafening, silencing all else around and drowning out the noises of those near.

Right this moment mother-nature must've been furious.

Rain beat down on delicate shoulders like bullets from a handgun. Fast, cold, and hard, the drops could make a grown man freeze as if it were the middle of winter.

Her surroundings, always seemingly colorless in its grace, were now indefinite shapes, grey blurs and masses of what used to be a line of headstones. She looked up through bleak, ambiguous eyes. The path, that was once ahead, was gone. The iron fence that lay around the grounds, destroyed in the dark mists of grey.

She could see nothing other than the dirty hands in front of her face. The same hands which had pushed her friends away, caked in mud and tears. But soon the rain would wash all that away too. No evidence of her struggle lingering; akin to blood being washed away at the scene of a crime.

It seemed like it was only minutes ago that Uo had run from her; disgusted by her lack of a helping hand extended towards their most precious friend. Uo must have figured: if she couldn't help Tohru, then leaving Saki alone in the rain was her only retribution.

But Saki understood. Uo couldn't understand the things she felt on a regular basis.

The denpa, having alerted her to Tohru's distress, only abandoned her now. For the first time in her life, she felt nothing; nothing, but the cold rain seeping in through her clothes and dampening her skin. Signals of another person, signals of a creeping animal, even signals of those on the road were absent.

Maybe in the down pour there were no people or maybe the rain was drowning them out. Whatever the explanation might have been, Saki was utterly alone.

Softened tissue on her hands scraped off as she pushed away from the rough, cemented side-walk. Still, pain didn't caress her nerves, having been numbed by the frigid temperatures of the rain hours ago. Her hair clung in thin waves around her face, her cloak weighing a ton as she forced herself forward. She stumbled as she walked, her breath coming out in puffs of smoke.

The umbrella's they brought were useless now; lying in puddle-soaked mud where they were thrown to by the winds.

Ignoring them, Saki headed onward, arms clutching one another for warmth. She considered stripping out of her clothes and huddling naked, god knew how much warmer she needed to be, but for that to work she also needed a shelter and currently none presented themselves. It was unfortunate. The clothes were only burdening her, what with the mass amounts of water they collected and the warmth they no longer provided.

By now she was shaking as if there was an earthquake occurring. Tremulous, her body temperature dropped even lower. The shaking was extremely violent, causing her teeth to chatter uncontrollably, her feet losing balance with every step she took.

Seeing the gates to the entrance of the cemetery gave her a solid goal to go for. Now she just needed to make it beyond the gate and maybe she could stop someone on the road.

That is, if there is someone.

Well, at least if she died, her body wasn't too far from its resting place. They wouldn't have to carry her far. Saki almost laughed, but the probability of biting her tongue didn't seem so pleasant.

In a haze of grey, she stumbled against the iron gates, panting and coughing before she looked up and briefly noticed headlights. They came quick and were gone, but the mere fact that they were there lightened her mood.

Suddenly, her hands were getting warmer, along with her feet. She looked down, but nothing had changed. She felt her face that she was aware seemed on fire now. Time, she was losing it.

Saki darted out in to the road with her last bout of strength, catching the blinding ray of headlights before she fell and continued falling.

Her foot slipped on the slick pavement and black suddenly rose to meet her face.

I hope I hit the ground, she distinctly thought, before the car hits me.


	2. The Conduct of Commerce

A/N: Hello fellow readers and writers alike. Since I refused to put a note on the Preface of this fic, the story begins after Episode 24 on the last disc of The FB anime (if you hadn't guessed that already). While Tohru has gone on to finish the story as we know it, lets see what goes on behind the scenes in my mind of utter madness! I will say, I put this on here because after it sitting for over a year untouched and unloved, I decided to pick it up again and see what I could come up with. But I was lacking something...INSPIRATION! So in hopes of finding that inspiration, I give you: A Flower Among Thorns. As always Read, Review, Enjoy and because of my lack of motivation I ask that you, please, be gentle (I have this mental image of being disembowled by a reviewer. It's not pretty...it's rather squishy.)

Disclaimer: Anime isn't mine, the manga isn't mine, the characters are, alas, not mine...but I do_ so_ enjoy tampering with them.

* * *

The Conduct of Commerce (is a breeze on the hindquarters)

To some, a wall is a canvas, a blank slate. To others it is an invitation or often a partition between being here and, well, there. And then there's the rest of the population, where a wall is inconceivably just a wall. Or as they would like to state in their logical minds: a collection of beams, plaster and fancy paints. Apparently that population was growing at an alarming rate because the odds of someone ending up in a bland room after injury were quite substantial.

Not that Saki had much room to talk. Her own room revealed to be rather similar. But in her defense she did have a few items defining her interest, personality or loved ones.

Perhaps this person did as well. Saki couldn't say because Saki hadn't checked.

Quite frankly she just became aware that she was sitting up and gazing across green gardens and in to curiously high walls (calling it a fence, just didn't do justice). The paper door directly in front of her was vacant and revealed instead, the nature at sunset. But the sun had already dipped below the high walls surrounding the property.

Walls that high meant privacy. Privacy that important meant status. Status that notorious meant money.

Just _who_ did she run out in front of?

Questions like these needed answers. Saki decided it was her job to find those answers through a little observing. But that was a bit difficult down on the wooden floor, mashed between a futon and a blanket without the knowledge of her condition.

Experimentally, she wiggled her toes. The covers, down where toes should be, moved to and fro offering comfort in the field of limbs she still possessed. Swiftly she removed the covers, noting the washed out color of her hospital garment before standing…and falling.

Her hands hit the ground first, causing a jolt of pain to spread through her palms and up to her elbows. No longer numbed by the effects of hypothermia, her nerve endings could now joyfully signal pain to her brain where it could warn her not to touch anything until her skin grew back. Though, it was nice of whomever to have wrapped her scarred hands in gauze, protecting them...some…at least.

With a small grunt Saki lifted herself back up. Albeit a bit wobbly, she managed to wobble over, grabbing hold of the desk to her side before falling and repeating the same scene.

She shivered as a small breeze wafted through her thin, minutely revealing garments and… the home? The office? The home office?

More accurately, it seemed like an office/library. While the room she was in now was just a tiny extension off of the area she slept in (the one that was vacant besides the futon and ruffled covers), it wasn't divided completely; merely separated by two short panels on each end. The one wall of the office was completely lined with bookshelves, the desk extending from the myriad onslaught of manuscripts.

Most of the books were colorless or at least muted color and looked fairly new the further away they were from the desk. Naturally, the ones closest to the position of work were the ones more frequently used and therefore worn.

It was all organized for speed or reference. This person had quite literally read them all and knew themselves well enough to know how he or she referred to the books as in their own mind. Disciplined and practical. She admired that.

Saki focused on the desk where there were to be more items she could clue in on. But the only official item was a clock. A clock that clicked with the passing of two golden, metal spheres each held at a distance by a single strip of metal in between them. The strip dipped into a sideways parenthesis shape and swung like a pendulum.

A man, she concluded owned this place. It lacked too many nick-knacks to be a woman's. Possessed too little of color. Though Saki was a very different feminine type, she too had her own little items in her room. The fewer, the better, but she still had more than him.

And then her eye caught the insightful bloom of color. Perhaps, the only real color in the room. It was a practical frame, gold to match the clock, she supposed. But the picture inside had blue, green, red, white and brown colors gracing it. It was that of a woman, smiling serenely at the photographer. Though her hair was a dull light brown, she was beautiful nonetheless.

Yet somehow, the photograph felt fake in her hands and not just because the gauze prevented most feeling in her palms. Having the proof of a memory taken by a camera was right in front of her, but who could validate it?

Looking for a clue within the ink, Saki continued running a finger over the glass and staring vacuously back at the woman who revealed nothing to her. In different culture it was often believed that photos stole the soul of the person in the work, but Saki was surprisingly one who never deemed such a thing. The way she surmised was different. Had to deal with auras, waves and electrical nonsense no one else would understand. But the more she gazed at the photo, the more she believed the woman's soul _was_ stolen.

Well, perhaps not the soul, but something of equal importance.

"It looks like you're feeling better judging by your inquisitive acquisitions." The voice was soft, but deep enough to confirm her conclusions. The only indication of his entrance was the door sliding back into place.

"No." she said without looking up "I can barely stand right now, but curiosity has always been more important than injury."

Taken back by her honesty the doctor examined her from his position before finally being able to confide in her statement.

Though her hair spilled over most of her face, he could tell she was tight-lipped and straining from the pain that must have been drilling in to her head like a jack hammer. She wasn't standing upright, her balance forsaken and causing her to look like the leaning tower of piazza. Her hands were shaking, fingers pale and clutching tightly on to a frame.

His frame; of his photo. He then noticed the way she was gazing at it; almost as if she were trying to sort through and find out what was real…and what was a lie. He was quieted by the way she eyed it, didn't like it one bit.

Reaching over her, he gently pulled the frame out of her hands, set it back on the shelf and steered her to one of the waiting chairs. From the pocket on his white over-coat he found a small light and clicked it on. "My name is…"

"Hatori Sohma." Saki answered "Like Kyo, Yuki and Shigure, but not like them. You don't feel I'll know you long, so you don't see the use in formalities."

Needless to say he was astounded at her accuracy. Someone that accurate deserved a gold medal if he didn't feel there was more to it than the eye could see. "Open." He commanded, repeating the tiring process of checking her basic abilities. A recognition test and her brain seemed to be functioning normally. "You're healing in general. No apparent brain damage from the fall, though that head wound isn't going to go away by itself. I'll give you pain medication for the headaches."

"Home doesn't seem to be an option for me."

"At this point, it isn't." he turned from her and faced his desk. When he turned back, he lifted her head, parted the curls and dabbed the wound on her forehead with a cotton ball. It didn't seem to have reopened, but he took precautionary measures.

In her weakened state, Saki was unable to control the defense waves sent through her body into his at the contact. The waves, just as weak as her, only produced enough power to shock him as static would from friction. Hatori just wondered how he got shocked through a cotton ball.

Immediately after the initial shock, Saki's eyes lit up and she stared at him questionably "You have a talent. What is it?"

"Pardon?"

"A touch tells me many things. For one, you have a strong guard or more accurately, you've _built_ a strong guard. The stronger your guard, the harder it is for me to break through. Another, you have a special talent. Like mine, but not mine. What is it?"

Hatori optionally ignored the question. "How can a touch tell you something? Are you psychic?"

She reallocated her head to look at him as he threw away the bloodied cotton ball and sat back in his chair. "You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."

He sighed, consulting his earlier words. True, he didn't care for formalities in any situation, but he used them. In small incidents. Ones that didn't involve an outsider entering the Sohma residence. Hatori shifted before sitting and leaning his chin against his palm. Her memory was probably going to be erased anyway, what was the harm? Besides, afterwards, he would have the upper-hand. "You first."

"I possess the ability to read denpa."

"Electromagnetic waves?"

"Of the sort. I often see auras as well. Maybe not less significant. But they're not on equal footing."

"So you can read minds?"

"No." she replied monotonously.

He rubbed his chin slightly, his other arm lying generously against the table top. "I'm not fond of believing in this as such, myself, but, perhaps, spiritual?"

Saki shook her head. "I am simply aware of the state of those around me at all times." She paused "To explain simply: Denpa waves are essentially: another beings feeling. Rather than hearing their feelings, thoughts and emotions with my ears, as one would do with telepathy, the signals are sent directly to my brain. It is different in your case. In fact, what I've been receiving comes up empty. You've built a _very_ strong guard."

"If that's the case, then how did you find my name and such details so effortlessly?"

"You reacted for some reason. The signal was sent to my brain. What is the nature of _your_ talent?"

Hatori took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Despite his earlier reasoning's, he was still anxious on disclosing the curse that conveniently benefited him and his families situations. But a deal was a deal. "I am able to search through and remove memory. More of a curse than a talent or gift."

The corner of her mouth curved upwards. _Memory…ah, that explains the picture. _"Every gift has its flaw."

"Hn. I don't think you understand." He leaned forward, ready to explain a bit of his own ability when her stomach growled obtrusively. "Perhaps it would be wiser to continue this…"

"…never. I think we've said enough."

"In any case, I don't believe feeding tubes are any kind of substitute for solid food."

Saki glanced up at him curiously. "How long have I been unconscious?"

Hatori threaded his arm through a different coat. "Not long. Four days. You woke up this morning, though I doubt you remember it. I removed the tubes then brought you here. No, I didn't eliminate your memory; you'd remember that, at least."

"You'd remove my memory when I'm awake and coherent." She stated. "In fact…you'd tell me you were going to. No. That's not right. You would _warn _me."

Slowly he reached for his keys and then paused. "Can you be sure of that?"

"Yes."

This wasn't something he wanted to discuss, especially with someone like her. She was so sure of herself with everything she said and did. Was it because of her abilities?

"Aren't you going to ask why I was running through the rain and in front of cars that night?" she only mentioned it because she could sense he wanted to know. The control over his emotions was remarkable though. He would never ask her himself.

"If you must, you can explain on the way." Already tired, Hatori rubbed a hand through his hair and opened the paper doors. "There's a restroom down the hall to your right. It's the first door on the left. Your clothes have been dried, cleaned and folded. You should find them sitting on the sink."

"Since you don't take. I give." He didn't see her approach him, but when he whirled back to face her, the chair was empty and she was standing next to him. "My name is Hanajima, Saki. Now that we're on a first name basis I believe we're even."

"I'll wait…"

"…at the door? Don't. There's still a chill in the air, I hate to sit in a cold vehicle." She looked at him "I'll be fine."

He was sure his face revealed no emotion, ever since their revelations he was keeping an extra check on his guard. If what she had said was true, then there was no chance she was able to break through. "Another touch?" he asked.

"Years of practice. Being inside the minds of others and all that. You learn to read through façades." And with that Saki passed him, down the hall and in to the restroom.

Hatori shuffled off in the opposite direction.

The disappointment came as a surprise. In fact he was consulting hope. Hope that she had touched him and found out the details in her way as such.

It was quite disconcerting to accompany someone who didn't need to read the mind, to know what he was thinking. Especially a girl in a hospital garment with her butt exposed.

Seems between us, he pondered, there are no secrets.


	3. Sweaty Rumps

Sweaty Rumps (and tragic bumps)

"My butt is warm. Is that natural?"

He thought he was still in control of his reactions, but Saki hadn't spoken since she got in the car. The sound of her voice startled him; in many ways. "Seat warmers. I can turn it off if it is uncomfortable."

The drive thus far had been slow, steady and vastly boring. Saki had promptly put on her signature wardrobe and got in to the car without hesitation or demand. Hatori assumed she would assume that he would assume the place of destination and automatically take them there. So he did.

His hand reached for the button on the dash board with a picture of a seat with three wavy lines coming up from it. Like a cup of coffee. Saki patted his hand to lower it. "Strange. Not uncomfortable. I thought maybe I was unable to control my bowel movements."

Hatori wasn't surprised by the statement. She kept up a straight, solemn face as well as he did. But she was very open with her medical problems. He remembered in the office when she told him she was unable to stand well, but she forced herself to if only for the sake of curiosity. It was quite obvious by the simple comments she made, she was nowhere towards feeling 100%.

"Your hands…how are they?"

"Burning."

The engine hummed peacefully around the car, defining the closed space for private thoughts and conversation. "I suppose it could feel worse. You tore the entire first layer of skin off of them."

"Soaked skin and concrete don't mix well."

"Neither do hard heads and asphalt."

Saki looked up and was tempted to smile at the man. Tempted, but he never looked back at her. Instead his eyes remained focused on the road. Her smile was a reward; something people didn't see often. They weren't that close yet. She'd give him something else instead. At the moment, an explanation was most important to him.

"I ran out in front of the car because I was aware hypothermia was setting in."

Yes. He had taken extra measures just to keep the freezing girl warm.

Being a doctor, he knew the symptoms as well as the precautions to help it recede before it got deadly. She had been close. Her symptoms were somewhere between moderate and severe. "The rain…it wasn't a warm one. But it wasn't ice either. You would have had to been out there for hours."

"I was." She stated simply "You are a Sohma, yes? I'm sure you're familiar with Tohru Honda. Have you seen her recently?"

His eyes lit slightly. "Yes." Bleeding, bruised and still smiling "I saw her. She was doing exceedingly well."

"Sweet girl. I was there because she was. The denpa doesn't give me specifics. Rather I have to find out for myself. I did…and I found Tohru, soaked and clutching her mother's grave. But she was not upset because of her mother…no. It was the Sohma's."

Hatori's expression tightened. She sensed the anxiety, the anxiousness. He was worried about her words. Still, he would never ask her.

Saki nodded. She would just have to tell. "Tohru refused to tell Arisa and I what was wrong. Just that she didn't belong with the Sohma's. But I knew that was a lie. I've never seen Tohru as happy as I have with the Sohma's since her mother passed away. Even I could not make her smile so brightly. So I did what I had to." Saki frowned "I pushed her away."

"You then…are who she calls Hana?"

"As my friends do."

That wasn't just a statement. It was a warning; he got the hint. "Tohru didn't look at it as being pushed away. She said she needed to thank you for pushing her _forward_. That's a reasonable difference. Still, it doesn't explain why you were out there so long."

"I was crying. Tohru left to pursue the Sohma's and Arisa left in anger. I wasn't aware of how long I had been there until I started shaking. Don't apologize. I don't need it nor do I want it." She sighed "As for a few answers myself…"

"Go ahead."

"Is it normal to…" for lack of a better word "…_desire_ undressing when cold?"

Hatori paused. "You mean during hypothermia?" she didn't answer so he continued "Yes. It's called paradoxical undressing. In your case, I'm surprised you hadn't. When the victim becomes confused and disoriented, they begin discarding their clothes."

"Alright, next question. When will I be able to go home?"

"I don't decide that. But most likely not until your memory has been erased."

"Ah, right down to business then?" She folded her hands in her lap and leaned her head back. They came to a stop light and she took the opportunity to gaze at him. "Erase my memories and I will make sure it is the last time you erase anything. A touch, Hatori, it's all I need. It is the same for you, ne?"

"Yes."

"I thought as much. Touch me and I will…"

"Drive me to the brink of insanity. I doubt you would have any qualms about sending me off that brink and having me plummet in to madness."

"Take something dear of mine and I won't hesitate to do the same."

Hatori sighed. He didn't like her threats; especially the fact that she was one who wouldn't fall short on it. "Then, I'm afraid we are at what few might call a stalemate. As long as I watch you, I don't see a problem in it ever coming down to such a standoff." The car started forward.

"Then we agree to keep it this way."

"As long as possible."

A small smile spread across her face as she looked at her fingers where she had willingly touched his hand. They were cold. Her mother always told her: cold hands meant a warm heart. She assumed she told her this because Saki's _own_ appendages revealed to always be freezing.

"You don't like to sleep in front of others."

"What?"

"Just an observation." She mused "Would you like another?"

"I think I've had enough of your 'observations'."

"Oh?" Saki repressed a smile "You don't believe me then. Perhaps I _am_ psychic. Give me your palm."

Hatori lifted an amused brow. "As flattering as that sounds, I'll pass."

"Afraid I'll be correct?"

"Afraid I'll crash." She smiled at him. Not quite yet a real smile, but he could see in her eyes that she wasn't unhappy. He looked back at the road. "Besides, we both know you would be correct anyway. The contact with my hand would be enough, wouldn't it?"

"More so. I don't _need_ physical contact to be aware of the state you're in. I told you, I read denpa. You practice medical…I'm sure you know a few things about auras, yes?"

He nodded. "They've described them as colors or temperatures. Sometimes it can tell your mood or your status of health, so I've heard."

"Denpa is similar. While not the same, denpa exists outside the human body, but it can tell much more than a simple status report. Often times, I can pick up on the denpa of loved ones, no matter how near or far they are."

It was hard to understand most of the concept. If he didn't have ability like hers, then he would've never given her the time of day. But not understanding made him feel like a fool. He figured if he were so open about his own trademark, Saki would most likely have just nodded with comprehension. And if he asked her to repeat what she understood, she would have recited him word for word.

Not for the first time in his life, Hatori felt old. "Sounds…difficult."

"Like a blackthorn."

"A thorn?"

"A flower." She answered "A white flower with five petals. A tree, actually. Things are seldom ever what they seem."

"That principle doubles with you." He glanced over, watching her nod and fall quiet once again.

With a contented sigh, Saki eased in to the warmth emanating from the bottom of her seat, sinking low so that the heat might touch her back and crawl up her neck that ached silently. She supposed the impact on the road must have been a lot harder than she initially thought if it managed to jar her neck so badly. With a snap, she twisted her neck this way and that, noticing the ache was sending pain signals to her brain and through her head. It wasn't hard to tell she was going to have one hell of a headache soon.

The car slowly lurched forward before coming to a complete stop in the vacant parking lot. His office was closed at these hours, but he figured a quick stop to grab a few things wouldn't bother her too terribly much.

It was a hassle alternating between offices, he brought many of Akito's files to the one in town to study them or, hopefully, shed some light upon them, but it was difficult to remember bringing them back at the end of the day; especially on a day where a girl runs out in front of your vehicle.

For the past four days, it was Saki that had been his sole concern, considering he almost ran over the girl with his car. She was awfully lucky he saw her before he got too close. Still, his files of Akito had been left untouched and sitting at his office in town and he didn't trust any of his employees enough to let them handle his life's business. Truth be told: Hatori didn't trust anyone.

He turned the key, not fully turning off the car before wondering if he should even attempt to give explanation to the girl who demanded none. Though he came to a quick understanding as to why she hadn't thrown a comment his way.

Curls rolled gently around, framing her face as it hung in sleep. Her chin rested upon her shoulder while her chest rose and fell to the subtle intakes of air, mouth slightly open with a slack jaw. Hatori might've chuckled if he hadn't have found it endearing.

Absently he reached out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, Saki not even twitching at the contact. It was easy to tell that pain had quickly sapped her of energy, if not already drained by keeping her own guards up.

Hatori pulled out the key and leaned back in to his seat as the engine's humming died completely, the car finally settling in to dormancy. He thought about bringing her to Tohru just to ease the poor girl's worrying. And as thinking of Tohru always led to another, he thought about Kana. Her voice, her spark, her smile. How much alike those two women were. In a way it was refreshing to know his memories of her could never die, but it was also suffocating to compare Tohru to a past love. She didn't deserve as much. Tohru was Tohru.

And _while_ Tohru was Tohru, Saki was…interesting. He doubted she was even a single bit like Kana. So much so that their molecular structures compared would almost seem alien. But who was the alien? Kana or Saki? If anything her nickname was probably the closest thing to Kana, in similarities, if it being the only.

Hana…he mused, watching her steadily.

A few moments passed like that; Hatori sitting idly by, gazing at Saki. In sleep it seemed she had no "special" abilities, no curse as the two of them would likely refer. He had seen her sleep for about a week now, so witnessing it again was nothing new. But for some reason he always felt as though he were watching something private, undisclosed to anyone, perhaps everyone.

Ringing woke him from the gaze, ringing from an object in his pocket. Hatori absently reached for the phone before clicking a button and listening to the voice on the other end. When he recognized who it was, he didn't relax. After a few minutes of silence, Hatori clicked the red button and canceled the called. When it came down to business, there was no chatting.

Fumbling with the cellular, he stuffed it unceremoniously back in to his coat pocket before turning back upon the sleeping girl. The previous compassion, wonderment, or admiration was wiped from his emotions and in his eyes were nothing, but darkness.

Bleak reality had set back in with a simple phone call. Even with Kana, he was never meant to be happy and it would be no different with a girl named Hana. It was easier to let her go before he got too attached. Tohru was already a waning mistake. To her, as well, he had grown fond of, no longer distancing himself from her presence. He kept in close contact, close volunteer to even that bumbling dog he called a friend. If they were to lose Tohru, it would have a devastating effect on the Sohma's.

No one needed another burden on their hands.

Hatori reached over, placing his hand atop Saki's closed eyes. Her eyebrows dove together as if in knowing. Even in her sleep she was in complete protest of such an act. He didn't blame her though. It wasn't as if she wanted to erase time she considered valuable. But soon, he pondered, soon that will all be a thing of the past. What can't be missed isn't valuable at all.

As Hatori had never done before, he closed his eyes and prayed.

Tohru was making him soft.

From down the road, a car passed by; its headlights briefly shining in to the cabin of Hatori's vehicle. And as with every flash of light he was rendered blind of the darkness he possessed. Even if it was…only for a moment.


	4. A Plan

A (Half-Baked) Plan

Blank walls were greeting her quite often these days. Perhaps because, in comparison, she was very similar to one; nothing unique underneath and coincidentally nothing unique on top either. Yes, that described her quite accurately.

Like a white wall, she felt vacant. Devoid of color or the emotions associated with them; lacking life, but full of the burning acid that devoured a person from the inside and left them feeling empty; as though she were missing something. In the pit of her stomach she felt a rumbling awareness that that was, indeed, the case.

Well, that or hunger. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten.

Hm, she couldn't remember a lot of things lately.

Saki rose from the bed in her room slightly struggling to lift her own weight. Brow raised, she paused and looked at the bed which happened to be a futon lying across a wooden floor. Now that explained why she was having such a hard time, this bed was definitely not _hers_.

Shifting her head, she noticed a separate room, cut off by two panels; books lining the wall facing her.

A slight pain through her forehead jolted her awake.

Hatori's room. She fell asleep in the car. Odd. Then Hatori must have brought her back to the Sohma's estate.

She gazed back in to the office area, lightly noting with a smile that the photo of that soulless woman was missing. He doesn't trust me, the corner of her mouth un-noticeably upturned, Smart man.

There was no other difference within the office. Each boring book left untouched along the shelves, doomed to sit for eternity; desk jutting from the wall in rude obtrusion.

Saki was about to resign to rest more when she noticed the smallest detail that wasn't there last time. On the table top of the desk was a dull, somewhat worn manila folder. A few papers lay scattered next to it, but most were still caged within the conformist file, peeking out slightly as if begging her to look. That was enough of an invitation for her.

She padded over to the desk, running her fingers over the folder's surface in much of the same manner she had with Hatori's photograph. It was smooth for the most part, but over-usage created creases, bent corners and tears. There were only a few papers out of the folder, coincidentally bearing no significance, as opposed to inside of it where there were plenty. The tab on the top of the folder was covered by some of the papers, concealing the label. Easily pulling the papers away, Saki read the file name.

Normally she had no need to speak anything out loud, yet after having just woke up her brain was functioning slower than usual. Saki sounded-out the name "Ah-kee-toe…hm. Who's Akito? I wonder if he's…"

Delicate fingers slid across the edge before tucking underneath to pull away the cover. Another photo graced the first page, held by a clip in the top left corner. But before she examined the photo, there were two words that seemed to grab her by the collar and pull her close: "zodiac" and "curse". Neither were used consecutively, but tended to appear near each other. They both had a unique relation with the way Hatori had decidedly written them apart; though to her it was obvious they belonged together. Moving on, she toyed with the photo, flapping the corner in attempts to free it from the limitations of the clip. She was unable to get a full view of the photo or the person within it when a hand slammed down on top of her own, shutting the folder altogether.

Saki gasped, jumping and wincing at the same time. Her hand throbbing with searing pain before the emotion of pure anger seeped through the denpa. His guard was loosening with the threat of exposure, but of what exposure she was unsure of. Desperately trying to suppress the rage from mingling with her feelings, Saki centered on the throb in her hand; each beat that synchronized rhythmically against the beat of her heart.

"I'm sure you've heard what becomes of those curious. I believe you should heed its warning." His breath was hot against her cold, pale skin, tickling her hair in the most frightening way.

"I've never been smart enough." She replied in hopes her voice didn't waver.

He immediately removed his hand from hers, swiping the folder from beneath while she stood still, almost afraid to move. "Don't touch anything of mine. Ever."

"As I recall _you_ touched _my_ hand first."

Hatori sighed, firmly putting his papers away. "The desk, the bookshelf, the books, the files…I never referenced skin-to-skin."

"You never _didn't_ reference it either. But thanks to you, now I know the rules: Office area is off limits, Sohma-san is fair game."

"Also not what I said."

Her hand caressed his face, freezing him in place. Cold, calculating fingers feathered over his soft, warm cheek, straying to his chin before she smiled at him, pleased with the shiver she felt underneath her bandages. "Now we are even, opposite sex."

"Excuse me?"

"I am female. You are male."

Hatori almost laughed at the pending statement, his eyebrows rising in question. "I should say so."

"You fear my gender." She cocked her head to the side, staring indefinitely at his chest. "Not unusual, but, why, I would like to know."

His breathing quickened in its pace, his heart pumping blood more rapidly through his body. He knew the change wasn't noticeable, but he was positive she knew. Or rather, she could see; beyond his chest cavity and into his heart. And as always, she was right, but being female wasn't the only reason he was wary of her. Clearly she wasn't giving herself enough credit: Saki was strange in her own right.

"An absurd assumption…I don't believe you have the right to be questioning me in the first place." He scoffed, turning away to evade her touch. "Do not forget…your life is in my hands."

"I can't promise you I won't. After all, you might take that memory, yes?"

His back remained facing her, leaving the question unanswered. Yes, there was always that possibility; the possibility of forgetting permanently. And not out of sheer exhaustion, but because it was forced upon her, the task carried out by Hatori.

He sighed, his shoulders sagging. Nothing would be hidden from her, yet here he was desperately attempting to keep secrets locked away, hide them from her, and hide himself from her. Hatori feared she already knew where he was, where he had been and why he was there, but he wanted to make no reference to it. And that damn manila folder was all the reference she would need.

Yes. Akito.

In the late hours of the night, he had gone to see Akito; had gone and talked to him about Saki.

It was clear the mysterious man was afraid of her. He told Hatori how he had watched her, hidden from her view as she walked out to Hatori's car. At first, he felt smug, thinking she was as fragile as Tohru Honda; waiting to be so easily broken. But then she turned, the wind catching her hair and swirling it around her form, and her eyes locked onto his even through the filmy curtain. Akito was ready to challenge, but something in those deeply shaded, violet eyes had him shivering. One word arose in his mind: "_witch."_

"_A witch, Hatori." Akito leaned against the wall, his robe falling open to expose his chest. Hatori remained quiet, knelt before him, staring in to oblivion. "There is no room for a witch within the Sohma Estate." _

_Tohru had been a huge exception as well as a major, if not un-welcomed and equally welcomed, surprise. Hatori knew for a fact: there would be no more exceptions._

"_I want her removed from my sight. I don't care what you do with her, but I want her gone."_

"_Akito…"_

_A slam and crack had Hatori on his feet within seconds. The wooden frames that had created a window broke at the will of Akito's fist. "Get her out! There will be no witches in my house, Hatori! Get. Her. Out!"_

As far as he was concerned, Saki wasn't in the best position. Even Tohru's position was slightly safer than Saki's and Tohru _knew_ their family's secret. At the moment, her memories were safe. Her life on the other hand was in danger. Akito was very susceptible to paranoia and if he became too obsessed there were no guarantees he wouldn't come after Saki himself just to hurt or scare her. Fear was his greatest weapon. It was also his greatest weakness.

"We're going." Hatori felt through his pockets, his keys jingling as he removed them.

Saki wrapped her cloak around her tighter. Why ask questions when there was no clear answer? Like that question. She didn't believe Hatori was acting on careful planning more than he was impulse. But she believed impulse and instinct were much safer than planning. So the 'right' thing to do would be: just follow along. Only one detail needed to be addressed. "Don't go out the back passage like we did last time. He doesn't want to see me."

He paused, the jingles stopping with him almost as if they, too, anticipated the answer in the statement. "_Who_…doesn't want to see you?"

She walked over to him, her hand extending to his arm as still as a statue. Saki was waiting for a reaction; pulled back her fingers as if a shock had been dealt to them when she didn't get one. Removing her hand completely, she headed to the doorway, standing quietly in its frame.

Hatori immediately regretted the action of inaction. It's better off this way, he thought though his conscience told him otherwise.

"The real question is: 'Who, here, _wants_ to see me?'. The answer to _your_ question, however, would be the file name: Akito."

"And the answer to yours?"

Saki smiled. "No one." And with that she passed the door frame, walking down the hall to the front doors where Akito was most likely unable to see her; purple dress and cape following elegantly behind her.

Hatori gripped the keys tightly before attempting to catch up. By the time he was able to shut the door to the room, lock it and get to his car, there were red imprints in his skin created by metal and quandary.

"_There is no room for a witch within the Sohma Estate."_


	5. Sound Chamber

Sound Chamber (on wheels)

Routines are best described as patterns; consistent, repetitious and ongoing. They are also immensely mind-numbing. Saki realized the days were starting to mold together with Tohru and Arisa by her side and though she was very fond of the times spent with them, she couldn't help, but find the empty spaces consuming her life when they were gone.

And right now, they _were_ gone. Away from her, off doing whatever it was that pleased them most.

Yet the pattern had broken. Here, instead of home sitting with Megumi, she was sitting in the passenger seat of a man's car she had only met a day prior. Well, properly met. Specifics would say she had known him for a week now, but being in what could be considered a coma didn't count on her chart.

"I suppose it would be proper to ask 'where are you taking me?', but I have a feeling you wouldn't give me specifics anyway." Saki fiddled carelessly with the bandage falling off of her hand.

"Stop messing with that. And, yes, you would be correct. It's rather pointless in asking."

"Interesting…"

Silence had ensued most of the ride, nothing out of the ordinary; though ordinary could not describe the life of passenger nor driver.

"Not Shigure-san's house…that might be too obvious. Assuming that is…you are attempting to _hide_."

Hatori scratched his head, briefly glancing at her hands "Stop messing with that."

"I believe I've missed a week of school now. Are you going to give me a doctor's note?"

Why did he have to listen to such prattle at a ridiculous time in the morning? Sure, he had most certainly heard worse, kudos to Ayame and Shigure, but Saki's subjects didn't even seem to match a certain topic or ethical pattern. Almost as if they materialized before her out of thin air. She was just the vessel used to grab the words and repeat them.

"I'll be sure to add it on the "to do" list…I'm positive I told you to stop messing with that."

"I don't want Tohru to worry. I know she will."

The car lurched as it came to stop at a traffic light, the engine serving as background noise, but vaguely covered by a radio talk show. Hatori took the opportunity to turn his upper body toward Saki and catch her hand in his own. "I'm not fond of touching others so willingly, but you seem to force me to do many things I'm not fond of."

The bandages were clearly too old to be of practical use anymore. If they were doing anything at all, it was only re-infecting her open wounds and was that _really_ doing any good?

"At this rate, we'll just take off the bandages completely and let your hands dry. I'll need to reapply them at..." he paused, looking up at Saki's eyes that said she was bored, yet screamed of her peaked curiosity "…a…certain…place."

"I do so enjoy those certain places." She droned, secretly relishing the attention he was giving to her hands. Every time his skin connected with hers it was like a wave of electricity shot from him to her, making her wonder if he possessed the same ability as she. Saki averted her gaze to his face, gauging his reactions. What with the stern look on his face, she would have immediately assumed the man wasn't able to feel what she was experiencing, but when he went to remove the second bandage, Hatori slightly winced as if shocked by static. The corner of her mouth upturned in silent victory.

Finally he was able to remove both bandages completely, constantly looking at the traffic light to make sure red hadn't faded to green while he was nursing. Hatori watched the light for a few moments, determining the time by the intersection and decided he still had a few minutes to tend to his patient. When he faced her again, Saki looked at him, confused, when he reached out to take her hands once more.

Palms facing skyward, he began to massage the tips of her fingers, moving languidly to her wrists, but avoiding her palms where the skin was still healing. "It facilitates the blood so it can circulate throughout your hands."

"Is it not doing so already?"

"A precaution, Miss Hanajima."

Saki nodded before leaning in close. Not a normal gesture for her; yes, she liked watching others skin crawl, but without sacrificing her own space. Somehow, being close to this man was more comforting than she wanted it to be. Hatori though didn't make a move as she stared at him intently. "Another precaution, Sohma-san, is to watch the road at all times while in a vehicle." She smiled "The light feels green."

Sternly skeptical, Hatori faced the window only to see the vehicle that was in front of him was still, very much, in front of him. Brow raised, he was ready to fire back at Saki when the red disappeared and green flickered approval.

At this point, why he should be surprised was beyond him. Nonetheless he gaped at the light for a second before he caught himself and recomposed his expression. "You never cease to amuse me. Though I can positively say, denpa wasn't helping you in this situation."

"Can you?"

"A matter of patterns; learn the pattern, read the signs and the answer will surely come. In this case our pattern was in the form of an intersection. Judging by what lanes go first, you can immediately predict when your turn will come."

"Very intuitive for a doctor…as should be." She stated.

Nothing was simple with Saki and though Hatori was capable of understanding that, he didn't seem to fully grasp the concept quite yet. Yes, Saki was all too familiar with reading patterns to predict decisions, but that wasn't the case. As perceptive of a doctor that he was, he seemed to easily overlook the basics. Saki's eyes never left his body to examine the playing field. Patterns couldn't be read unless you saw them. A fact of reasoning: she never examined the pattern and therefore would've had less than a 30% chance at guessing things, such as a light change, correctly.

Still a person who relied heavily on instinct or intuition could double their chances fairly quickly. It just so happened, Saki was one of those people. And she had decided to take her chances.

Of course, she hadn't doubted herself for a second. Saki was confident when she was right. A bit too fashionably arrogant for her own liking, but she couldn't help the smile creeping on her face.

The car started forward again. Hatori glanced briefly at Saki. "It's not too much farther from here."

She looked up. "And by "it" I assume you mean our place of destination."

"Yes."

Odd. She had expected it to be much further from the Sohma's than this. Not that they hadn't already driven a fairly good distance, but hiding ensued crafty and, well, _hidden_ locations. With a wistful glance at the tall buildings, she decided it wasn't her place to arbitrate.

"I know this may seem sudden…and perhaps a bit…unethical, but I have no intention of explaining myself. As far as home goes, this will be your new home. School will be necessitated as will friends and family, but at the end of every day…here is where you will be."

Saki gazed uninterestedly out the window at the looming skyscraper lined with millions of windows, and hundreds of condos. "A prison more flattering than a cold cell, yet similar in its implication. And where will the guard be posted?"

He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "Assuming that's me…I'll be living with you. Of course, I do have a job and there will be times when you are left unattended."

"A child my age can't handle being at home alone. Who will be my babysitter?"

"I trust you can handle yourself."

That floored her. She wasn't expecting such an honest answer. Or rather she wasn't expecting an answer. Sarcasm didn't always influence honesty. "You trust I can handle myself…or you can't trust anyone else to handle me correctly?"

He pulled into the seemingly full lot. "I won't deny that both are true statements, but I meant what I said. Besides, none of my files are here."

Saki nodded. "Don't worry. I'll find something."

"Like what?"

She sighed and leaned back into her seat. "I'll let you know when we get in there."


	6. A Flag in the Moon

(stabbing) A Flag in the Moon

Have you ever been in a hotel lobby? Scratch that, a hotel lobby _restroom_ because the lobby would mean you're there for a room, which commoners can't afford. Commoners like Hanajima, Saki per say. Yes, those spacious, luxurious, over-the-top bathrooms that look like they haven't been touched in decades looked just like the room she was standing in now. And unless she was the Empress of Toilets then she was pretty sure she was out of place amongst all the clear glass, marble counters and ceramic tiles.

"You have a way with style." She commented sarcastically, stepping out of her shoes, making no move forward. Was the floor pure glass too or were her eyes just playing tricks?

"As much as that may flatter me, I'm not the decorator. A family cousin offered to do it cheap so I allowed her to create whatever she wanted."

"She must be fond of glass."

Hatori tossed his overcoat onto the square, white couch before sitting haphazardly atop it. He looked beat. "Her idea was to make a theme that suited my personality. This is her end result."

Saki wavered at the door, swaying slightly before reaching behind her to fall gently against it. The movement was too small to notice and she was grateful for the lack of attention he was paying. "And _you _think…?"

One jaded eye opened to glance at her, his arms stretched along the top of the couch, legs crossed as if still in business mode. "She hit the nail on the head. Glass is cold, invisible and bleak. I don't believe she missed her mark."

She nodded. No, she didn't think the woman missed her mark either, but for different reasons. Not that she was going to say what she thought to his hearing ears, Saki didn't know him well enough to. She also didn't know glass well enough to recognize if she was able to step on the floor in slippery, black socks. If anything she figured that would lead to an indignant tumble to a hard surface. Which led to another question, could glass tile break?

Observing the open floor plan, Saki noticed the colors primarily consisted of shades ranging from white, gray and lastly black. For her this environment was perfect. Maybe add a pillow of purple and she was good. But not Hatori.

Though, she had no doubts as to why the woman used such objects, materials and shades.

Considering his profession, Hatori seemed widely known to his family as "the doctor". If this cousin only knew him from such a point of view then she probably chose things to salute terms like: sterile, professional, and perhaps even emotionless.

The modern tools were arranged for the wrong reasons, but the end result depended on one's standpoint. To Saki, the glass meant delicacy, the concrete tiles and marble counter-tops in the kitchen meant strength and the shades along with such a style meant untouchable privacy. It came back to the feeling of walking into a hotel lobby. The whole: you-can-look-but-you-can't-touch policy.

"You might as well make yourself comfortable." Hatori finally acknowledged her hesitation. "After all, I can't say how long you'll be living here."

Saki stared up at him. His arms were still eagle-spread on the couch's rim, legs still crossed in a practiced fashion. All he had moved was that one eye-lid, suspiciously opening to gaze at her, only to once again close and hide those olive irises.

"One bedroom, one bath, small kitchen, dining room probably converted in to an office and a practical, small living space. Correct me if I'm wrong."

"You forgot laundry room."

"Is there one?"

He paused. He squinted. He scrunched. "No. Not fit enough to be called one at least."

Saki smiled. "And since I know you're going to offer me the bedroom like a gentleman, I'll save you time by not fighting and just taking."

"Down the hall to your left."

"I'll keep that in mind." She inattentively said as her head scaled around, eyes like a hawk's scanning for its prey. "…you don't display any photos?"

"There's nothing other than what my cousin arranged. Again…you won't find any files…you won't find any photos. You won't find anything personal or related to my business. Sorry to disappoint."

Not at all, she thought. No disappointments here. He just gave her an incentive to rise up to his invisible challenge, after all. Even if it was a small piece of colored, ripped paper; she would find something in this condo that screamed "Hatori". She just needed a chance to investigate. "Mind if I take a look around?"

Rubbing his neck, Hatori stood up and began to walk towards the kitchen. "Help yourself. I'm going to check and see if I have some bandages for your hands."

Absently nodding to his answer, Saki began to examine the shelves in search for anything remotely personal. But so far everything was just as he had said. Nothing was out of place. If there was an object that seemed it could qualify as his taste, she would study it closer only to find that it was most certainly hand-picked to bring out the more modern, affluent aspect of the condo; which would mean designer influences, not Hatori. Back to square one.

It was a gloriously fruitless task. First off, Saki had no idea what Hatori would deem suitable for his environment, if anything at all. Secondly, his condo seemed to scream of practical things she could see the physician picking. And last, the more she looked, the closer she felt to failure.

Daunting as it may seem she continued to scavenge the shelves, drawers, tabletops and lamps when she heard something whisper in to her ear. Saki whipped around to look for Hatori, but Hatori wasn't there. She heard a clink from the kitchen and deemed it was never him to begin with. Slowly she returned to her task, shaking off the silent chill. Another hiss from the ghostlike whisperer had her spinning around, but all that remain were the well-thought-out plans of an interior designer. Dark eyes focused on the reflection in the glass tile, looking for a face next to hers, but nothing materialized. She looked. She waited. Finally realizing it wasn't the condo or some paranormal explanation, she sighed.

Her denpa was starting to come back in full force. While she was doing immensely well reading Hatori, he was in a closer proximity than most. The process for her ability to return would be painstakingly slow and probably much worse than it initially had been before. Living with an ability was much simpler than growing used to one.

Those days of drug-induced sleep were already a thing of the past.

"I'll need you to sit so I can reapply your bandages." Hatori walked over to the couch with a white box in his hand. Pulling out the tab and opening the flap revealed two beige bandages rolled and tucked very neatly inside. He gripped the first one before looking up at her expectantly.

"Well?" Deep and rumbling with slight irritation, his voice seemed to vibrate off each and every single glass panel with meticulous precision.

"Yes?" her brow creased.

"As much as I might like to, I cannot wrap your hands when you're standing over there."

Saki nodded, seemingly understanding. "A conundrum" she stated, continuing to make no effort in the moving department.

"Not quite." He shifted, set the box down on the seat and began walking towards her.

While she made it a point not to move, Saki had to admit that she was a bit intimidated by his lumbering height; which she became more aware of the closer he got. Her neck craned back to keep the stare locked, focused. Hatori finally stopped, barely an inch away from her, and sighed.

She winced as she noticed a sharp, stabbing pain in her hand before Saki realized he was tugging at her arm.

"I don't know if anyone has told you, but you are innately stubborn."

Hatori lifted her hand to his chest, easily wrapping the bandage with expertise. A few slightly painful tugs passed and there was a new bandage on her right hand. He quickly moved on to her left hand, carefully lowering the right and resuming progress by gripping her other forearm.

"He's ill."

"Hm?" So wrapped up in bandaging, Hatori was unable to give a more intelligible response.

"Akito."

The man paused, momentarily lapsing and almost dropping her hand completely. He tried to resume with what could be seen as slight hesitation from, perhaps, wrapping wrong, but he knew Saki saw right through it.

"Yes. He gets sick quite often. Stays sick, actually…"

"No." she touched his cheek, forcing him to look in her eyes. "Ill…"

Hatori's expression remained blank as he tried to figure out what she was hinting at. But the statement rang true in his mind. Still, how would she know of such intimate details? "Ill…?"

Saki rolled her eyes upwards and pointed to her head.

"You mean mentally?"

She nodded.

Almost sighing with relief, he finished wrapping up the second hand before even attempting to touch upon the subject. "He is not unstable if that is what you're referring to. Mistrustful? Yes. Power hungry? Yes. But I don't blame him. None of us do."

Saki watched him unconsciously rub his hands as if they were dirty before he turned away to collect the empty box.

"Your hands…" she pulled a black cloth from her coat, easily picking his hand from his side and cleaning it. Saki rubbed back and forth much like a mother might do to their child; gently, but hard enough to scrape off the dirt and hint to the child never to do such a thing again.

Hatori watched intently as her hair spilled over her face in waves, her eyes focusing peacefully on the task. He noticed the darkness of her eyes that held a quiet amount of light of which wouldn't reveal itself unless you were absolutely looking for it; the way her curls didn't bounce back like he imagined they should; the way her skin glowed a milky white under the luminescent lighting.

If it weren't for her rubbing his hand roughly, he might have reached out and touched her.

She peeled back the cloth, squinting suspiciously at it before taking another gander at his hand. "…they're not soiled?"

"Should they be?"

"One would assume. The way you handle them isn't quaint."

Grunting, Hatori shifted back towards the kitchen, shaking off the urge to chafe his hand again. "_One_ would assume. _You_ ask too many questions."

"The moon is filthy, but does it ever stop shining?"

A sadist; she must have been one for the way she enjoyed watching Hatori squirm when she spouted what appeared to be random subjects. His back was facing her, but she saw the subtle hints of his confusion; the tense muscles bunching in his shoulders, the slightest tilt of his head. And while she did enjoy such a reaction, she was being completely serious; no smiles creeping on her features. Saki was stern.

"It always welcomes the dirtiest of faces, the filthiest of hands."

Hatori tried to scoff, but found he couldn't produce one. He was frozen by her words. Did he want to believe she was telling him the truth? Or was this fairytale cutting the air supple to his logical mind? Either way, he wasn't very happy with the result. "I don't believe in child's tales, Miss Hanajima. Still, if it were true, I'm sure the moon has yet to see the filthiest hands."

"Because you believe erasing memories is the dirtiest trick you could play on mankind. Though I would hardly call it a child's tale; the moon welcomed _me_, Sohma-san."

Now he _did_ scoff. "Wearing dark clothing and possessing a harmless ability is no reason for the moon to turn someone away if this personification is as noble as you make it to be."

Not that he needed to know; her ability was anything _excluding_ harmless. "You're absolutely right. But to welcome a murderer certainly is a noble-worthy act, don't you agree?"

The physician swiftly turned back to her with cold, calculating eyes. They were distant, they were perplexed…they were condemning.

Saki averted her gaze to his cell phone as it began to ring abruptly. Her eyes revealed nothing, but darkness. Her head felt nothing, but emptiness. Her heart…well, that didn't quite feel anything now either. Was that sad? She couldn't tell.

Still watching the mysterious girl closely, Hatori absently grabbed his phone and flipped up the top. "Hello?"

The person on the receiving end was nothing more than a babbling, murmuring noise lost in the background. He nodded and "mmhmm" when it seemed appropriate, but couldn't focus long enough on the conversation to pull anything except that he needed to see Akito. He had to leave. He had to recollect his thoughts. He had to focus. He had to…

…he had to_ leave_.

"I'll be there soon." He clicked the phone shut, dropped the box on the table and donned on his coat, keys jingling inside the pocket. Hatori opened the condominium door, paused, and slanted his head towards her.

"Goodbye, Sohma-san. Be careful out there. It's cold."

He looked out one of the many glass panels behind her. He was a man that kept up to date with things. Weather was one. The sun was rising and he was sure, it was warm, if not hot by now outside. He was positive, she was also aware of the weather. With a sigh, Hatori left.

The door resounded shut with a disparaging thud, leaving her form shadowed against the birth of morning. Saki lowered her eyes to the bandages. Clenched her fists hard enough to hurt.

Yes, the _moon_ welcomed even the filthiest of hands.


	7. To Trust

~Happy Thanksgiving!

Disclaimer: Anime: not mine, Manga: not mine, Fruits Basket idea and storyline: not mine, fanfic tampering with characters belonging to an anime that isn't mine: all mine... 8D

* * *

To Trust (a traitor)

The contact flashed on the screen, ready to be dialed. All he needed to do was press the button and pick up the phone; it wasn't hard. Just dial, pick it up and talk. There's was nothing more effortless than that.

But still the cell phone lay cradled in his hand, limp like a dead fish. He couldn't call. Not now anyway; not with the way they had left things hanging in the air as though it were damp laundry; too wet to pick up yet too dry to leave alone. He wanted Saki to remain hidden; safe by all means, but he couldn't keep tabs on a girl with no family connection to him without it seeming…immoral.

Hatori dropped the phone with a clack onto his mahogany desk. Still…it wasn't lewd to worry about someone her age right? Alone in a condo, in a building full of strangers and here he was at the main house using Akito as an excuse to keep himself away from her. That being the case; why was he so worried when he couldn't help wanting to keep his distance?

Absently twirling the phone in a circle on the wood, he continued to stare in to oblivion with the hopes of gaining an answer to his elusive question. And what about school? She knew she missed more than the recommended days by now. Maybe she would just up and leave after he had done the same to her? Payback? She _does_ consider that optional, yes? So calling would serve no purpose if she wasn't even there.

Friction of sliding wood caused a whispering sound, alerting Hatori to his office door being opened. "Ah."

The chair squeaked as he turned to face the intruder. "Snooping again, Shigure?"

"No 'Hello, old friend. It's been a while since I've seen you last. Can I offer you some tea'? Seriously, Hatori, where's the hospitality?"

"It left the building when you entered."

Shigure clutched his chest. "My heart! You wound it so!"

"Wrong side."

Looking down, the dog huffed and changed his hand position to rest upon the left side of his chest where his heart, indeed, beat. "Moving on…Akito told me you were…getting rid of something. I just want to clarify…was it a something or a _someone_?"

Hatori looked back at the phone briefly beckoning it to remain silent. "A something…a someone; it makes no difference what it is. If Akito wishes it out of sight, then out of sight it shall be."

Shigure sighed, moving toward the opening panels. "It's such a nice day outside. You really should open these up. We could just get some tea, sit and chat."

"Get to the point, Shigure. What do you want?"

Shigure paused and moved slowly away from the doors, leaving the lonely room immersed in shadows. His robe swayed around his silent footfalls, gently like a cape, but with much more purpose to his step. He exhaled, leaning against the half-panel dividing room and office, Shigure and Hatori; friend and potential enemy.

"I trust your judgment, Hatori. You've always separated family affairs from personal affection." He smiled "Though I agree with Ayame when he says you deserve better than Kana in the personal affection department."

Verbalizing his frustrations, Hatori rubbed his forehead "Again…to the point."

"Akito told me to watch you." Shigure growled in defeat, ruffling his hair "I didn't want it to come down to this. Never imagined it would…but I honestly can't oversee you with all the activity in my household."

Hatori slammed his fists on the desk as he stood "That's not necessary." His breathing was even, but quick; strong, but wavering; calculated, yet fearful. Akito was wary of him; sure Hatori didn't exactly do what was requested of him, but there were loop-holes to these kinds of things. And he had found the one that suited his situation. It wasn't as though Akito ordered the girl's head on a silver-platter. He shivered, fearing he soon might. "I don't need a guard dog to keep me in line. Why Akito has any doubts is beyond me. I have destroyed my own chance at happiness once before for his sake; I will not hesitate in doing so again."

Shigure shook his head "I was afraid you might say that." He walked to Hatori, causing him to slightly stir when he placed his palm on his friend's shoulder. "Let's sit on the deck. Enjoy the view; it's going to be quite a day."

"I heard it's going to be cold."

Brow raised. "What weather reporter said that? You'll have to let me know so that I can tell Yuki. He certainly likes to stay on top of the weather and if there is one that doesn't have excellent accuracy, he'd appreciate the warning."

"Quite the opposite." Hatori headed to the paper doors. "She's never been wrong."

"Ooo. It's a weather _girl_? Cute?"

The doctor shook his head and opened the hushing doors. "Not the issue, Shigure."

"Ah, you never help."

The two men sat leisurely on the wooden boards, gazing quietly at the rock garden. Pure white sand and bold black rocks working together as one to create a peaceful display; inciting silence to sway and thoughts to drift in lost channels.

They sat there for some time, brooding to themselves, exchanging thoughts of the inner-minds, but neither really knowing; never questioning; just listening to the sounds of nature at its most peaceful.

Hatori ran a single hand through his hair. But that damn bird. It's chirping almost sounded like an alarm. As though it knew about Hatori's time constraints and his impatience to find an answer to what he questioned most. How to explain…how to convince? How to begin?

"Would you…allow a murderer in your home?" Hatori paused "Hypothetically speaking."

Open and unaided, Shigure's eyes momentarily formed in to saucers before down-scaling back to their original size.

"Hmmm…I might…" He stroked his chin.

Hatori eyed him suspiciously. Shigure was known for failing expectations on his answers. He was just worried what rattle would spill out this time.

"…if it were a high-school giiirll!"

Hatori sighed. Did he have to use the sing-song voice? "You depraved dog…"

In the moment, Shigure half-singed, half-laughed "Just-kidding!"

"I doubt that."

"In all seriousness though: I would not. Putting the children's lives at stake…well, now, I had a hard enough time doing that to Tohru. And her life wasn't necessarily at stake, was it?"

Hatori paused, remembering the terrifying task they selfishly asked of Tohru, hoping for her to accept Kyo. Kyo in his true zodiac form. "No, but her memories and friendship with those two boys were. And I believe, to Tohru, losing them is a much worse penalty than death itself."

"Perhaps you're right. No matter. Even by myself, a murderer? That's just asking too much of me. I don't think I'd have the will to say yes."

Hatori smiled "And at the receiving end of a knife; the guts to say no."

Shigure laughed "A threat is a threat no matter the context."

As crazy as Shigure could be, his heart was always in the right place. To risk the children's lives, not to mention putting his own life at risk, was irresponsible and dangerous (still arguably something the dog might enjoy doing). In all the same, Hatori would be reckless to live under such a condition.

"Well…thanks anyway."

"Hm? Did it help?"

Hatori closed his eyes. "No. Not really."

The dog watched curiously as his friend fidgeted with the collar of his shirt; a tell-tale sign that the man was very confused, namely undecided. "Why don't you come to my place tonight? Maybe you'll find what you're looking for."

"Who twisted their ankle this time?"

"No one, Hatori! Don't be silly!"

The observant doctor eyed him dutifully. "Tohru?"

Shigure bit his lip. "The poor dear fell when trying to stop another fight between Kyo and Yuki! You have to help; I don't know how to wrap a bandage!"

"Useless."


	8. Social Seperation

Disclaimer: violated story is mine xD, the rest is not.

* * *

Social Separation (it's called interference)

A storm was coming. She knew it before she even looked out the window-her electromagnetic sensitivity picking up the static and soon, her eyes confirmed the assessment. Gray clouds loomed heavily above the skyline, seeking to drop its cargo on a potentially hazardous spot; never convenient for the recipient, but always convenient for the provider.

It was a pity, really. She had a whole montage planned, focusing on her rebellious streak to leave the condo. Snippets of another disappearing act for a couple of days; perhaps another week or so if she felt the urge.

Plan thwarted, Saki decided to rummage through Hatori's kitchen cabinets for snacks of some sort. Though she sincerely doubted he had any. A man of his stature was too good to eat something; more so risk a pest infestation on the…what was this again…the _90__th_ floor? Could never be too careful…she supposed.

Ready to grab the glossy looking knob and unearth a bounty of airy snacks, Saki reached, momentarily fumbling with the height. She recalled having this memory lapse before. Of not realizing how tall this man was until she was standing right in front of him. Well that factor was hitting her again like a baseball to the face as she urgently switched from soles to the tips of her toes.

Her hand fumbled drastically below, grabbing the counter and pushing off to gain momentum, slipping a little each time as bandages did not serve justice for good grip. When the tips of her fingers touched what seemed to be plastic, she stopped reaching and focused her gaze on the lonely, laminated paper. Giving one last look to the might-as-well-be sky-high cabinets, Saki picked up the page and examined it.

It was blank…for the most part. The only writing was at the top, which on the contrary wasn't writing at all. To be more specific: typing was the culprit; computer registered sheets, probably in every condo, with a list of names and numbers. Each name started with the company's title which often gave away their conduct of business. Such as: Plumbers ON Us or the more commonly used acronym: P. ON. U. Charming. Next to that was the name of the men (or women) recommended for the job and lastly, their contact number.

Saki scrolled the small list, hoping for some sort of room-service industry to give itself away; with any luck a bit simpler than P. ON. U. Something like, oh I don't know, "Room Service"? But her eyes were too distracted by the Complex's signature logo at the bottom of the page.

It was neat, clean-cut, but ornate. Too ornate to ignore. That bothered Saki. It was drawing too much attention away from the important services. Normally, she couldn't care-less. This was the complex's problem. Not hers. That's what employees and faculty were for. But apparently all were too dim to notice that detail. They were probably too distracted by the design aspect of it to even realize the setback.

Then again why was she worried about something so superfluous? Once noted, she usually let details pass by. But something about that logo just itched to be scratched. Was it the way the "S" overlapped the "C" obnoxiously, seemingly more important? Almost calligraphic in its grace as the "C" sat at the back more or less left for dead.

Firmly curious, Saki flipped the page over only to find small print at the bottom of the page with a copyright note and inscriptions of law. But more than that, she found her answer. Eyes scanning the appropriate print, Saki confirmed the beliefs of the "S" being more important. Had the "S" stood for "Saki" she could understand the significance, but in this case the letter stood for "Sohma."

Come to think of it…the place where Tohru works is owned by a Sohma. She remembered seeing the name briefly when she walked Tohru to work one evening. And there was also a café in town she familiarized herself with, owned by a Sohma.

"What _don't_ you own?" She whispered, afraid to speak any louder in the echoing condo.

Hearing the boom of thunder, Saki spun on her heels, glanced out the glass-panels and began to wonder. Are glass-panels considered high-risk in electrical storms?

In a quick decision, she single-mindedly paced in to Hatori's room and shut the door; and then paused. Why shut the door? No one's here anyway. Still, rationalizing wasn't helping. She kept the door shut and turned upon the room with a sigh. One window, with shades _and_ curtains.

The rest of the room was much like the rest of the condo. Bored out of its mind and screaming for personality. Good Hatori. Just then a flash lit up the room for a split second before another crash. Her head spun to look for something, someone; a place to crouch, to hide. She was looking for a Megumi.

Contrary to high beliefs, Saki wasn't immune to fear. Megumi, her younger brother, was often the one who helped her sleep at night. As little of sleep as it was, she was able to rest nonetheless. But when they were apart: she was a mess. It wasn't so much the knowledge that he could protect her, because physically Megumi wasn't built to play the part, but the knowledge that he wanted to try. And because of that she slept easier. As time went on, she came to depend on Megumi for more than just sleep. When her mother's fear of thunderstorms interfered with Saki's emotions, Megumi was there to keep Saki stable. Now permanently branded with a fear that wasn't hers, Saki had no one with her to lean on. Perhaps, she needed this separation.

It was a way of weaning the kitten, her, off its mother's milk, Megumi.

Sighing in defeat, Saki curled on to the bed, pristine white sheets being wrinkled with purple. She grabbed the pillow and noticed a faint lingering smell. It was of shampoo, sweat, cologne and a bit of something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. The combination was fascinating, although very faint. All she knew is that it was Hatori. Prior to this, she didn't know what Hatori smelled like. Didn't pay attention, per say. But the raw, exposed manly aromas had her inhaling for more of an illumination.

Ah, wait a second.

Drool. That's what the other smell was. The ever-not-so-pleasant morning-breath; seems even the professionals had their days.

She jumped as another crash resounded around the room and bounced unpleasantly off the walls, unconsciously curling deeper in to the sheets and pillow. Her hands were beginning to sting from the way she clenched her fists so tightly. If she didn't learn to handle this now, it was foreboding that it lead to similar situations only getting worse.

And by the way Hatori had looked after her little confession: it was probable he wouldn't be back anytime soon, pity that. She wasn't exactly in a hurry to see him again either. Use his condo, eat his food, maybe. But to see him and feel guiltily grateful for lending her a place to stay…well she wasn't quite ready to thank him just yet. Or to feel guilty; guilt ate at a person.

Tensing as another wave of thunder passed over, Saki felt her pulse slowing to a normal pace. She was sure that once the storm passed everything would be okay. Once again, she'd get up and finish her search for snacks, successfully, with no interruptions. Not for friends, not for family and most certainly not for any Sohma.

Glued to the bed, she trained herself in relaxing her muscles. Loosening the choke-hold on Hatori's helpless pillow was a good starter. Now able to breathe, the pillow released another scent wave dancing across her nostrils, furthering her muscles to relax.

It wasn't so much that she was fond of the man, though she surreptitiously admired him, which made her easier around him. Not the fact that he _was_ _a man_. Not even the fact that he saved her life. No. It was almost the same principle as her brother. The fact that Megumi tried or wanted to protect her helped her rest. For Hatori, it wasn't that he tried or even wanted to, but the sole purpose that he _could_. Megumi wasn't physically capable of protecting her. Hatori _was_.

Yet, having the choice she did, Saki didn't want him here anymore than he wanted to be here. If Hatori was incapable of acceptance, so was she. And for that, she didn't want the protection, the feeble sleep he could offer.

Never evening out, her breath just slowed with each bout of silence. When another crash would sound her breath would pitch and then again return to normal, anticipating another moment when the thunder would break and the lightning would flash.

Saki tried to bury her face in the pillow, but the scent was no longer pleasant. Instead of comforting, it left doubt. Instead of breaking the walls down, it built a few more up, leaving her with a sour burning in the pit of her stomach.

She curled deeper in to herself, her hair spilling in waves over his pillow and mattress.

This social separation was causing interference.


	9. Brand New Bedsheets

A/N: Hey again! It's been a while (blame epic-writer's-block), but I finally have another chapter ready to go! I've gotten more reviews and I couldn't be happier! Thanks particularly to Kiss of the Breeze for taking so much time to critique and review every single one of my chapters. I'm elated to know that you loved 'em. If you have any more questions just ask me, I'll be happy to answer. I know my writing can be kind of spotty at times (i jump from one thing to the next) but trust me, it's a lot better than it use to be.

In light of the coming New Year (and the receding Christmas holiday) I give you the next installment: (smells like) Brand New Bedsheets, in hopes that I will finish this fic sometime in 2011 and that it's ending will be a bucket of AWESOME. Or at least cute.

Disclaimer: story is mine. that is all.

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(smells like) Brand New Bedsheets

Saki froze when she heard the noise. It sounded faintly like footsteps, but she dare not hope. And then she heard the voices, and her heart hopped in her throat. There was someone in the hall and they were coming this way.

When she left the bedroom, Saki immediately pursued snacks, but instead became side-tracked by voices from the hall. Originally, she promised herself she wouldn't let anything interrupt her initial snack-search…that promise died quick. Not her fault, because it wouldn't have been interesting if the burly man had continued talking. She soon came to learn that he was just another resident in the building. Her real concern was the quiet, soft-spoken man that she would've easily mistaken for a girl had she not felt his state of being; a man in control…whose control was slipping. She felt he was looking for something; for someone.

Firmly pressing her ear against the door, she listened carefully for a name. A few moments of silence reigned and she realized the conversation had ended. Did the man get what he came for?

"Knock, knock." The voice was mockingly soft and menacing.

Saki moved away from the door. He knew she was there, listening. It even seemed safe to say, he knew how close in proximity she was to the door enough to know how loud he need be.

Should she open the door?

He continued, sickeningly sweet. "I know you're in there." She wasn't buying it.

Still it could be a maintenance check. Maybe something had gone wrong with the electrical. Even though everything seemed to be working fine here, there might have been a bigger problem to cause an evacuation after that storm. But…

"Then you realize…I'm not letting you in." she replied, standing firmly against the door.

The man on the other side laughed. "Come now, child. Why would I need _you_ to let me in…when_ I _have the key?"

Momentarily freezing, Saki processed his question before grabbing the door-knob with a ferocity that belied her nature. It jiggled once. He laughed again. But he was angry. She knew he was. The door handle jiggled violently the second time as the rim of the door came crashing in to her. For a split second her world went white.

She heard a thunderous boom and realized it was the door flying open so hard it ricocheted off the wall and back in to its closing position. The muffled part of the boom was a result of blood rushing through her ears.

Saki was on the floor now, alone in Hatori's condo, pinned by a mad man. She looked in to gleefully evil eyes. "You're…Akito?"

"No _Witch_ is allowed within _my_ estate!" he insinuated the "witch" with a crunch from her wrist. Saki screamed in pain as her hand seemed to be consumed by internal flames that bounded from her palm to her wrist and finally to her elbow. "If Hatori won't get rid of you…I'll do it myself!"

Another harrowing cry was preceded by the snap of her final wrist. But Akito's attention had drifted away from the girl, his eyes finding solace in the destination of the bedroom. Saki panted heavily, ignoring the pangs of pain devouring her hands, and focused solely on the reflection in Akito's dead eyes.

He was staring at Hatori's bedroom. Though the word 'staring' didn't quite describe what his eyes were doing. It was a menacing 'stare'; as if he had seen the glimpse of someone darting in to the room, hiding from his individual onslaught. Akito began to stir above her. As though he were in a trance, he pushed away from her, his hands releasing her wrists in a slack motion. Stepping over her limp body, he headed to the door.

Suddenly Saki lit up with a new found fear. Of course he had seen someone. How could she have forgotten? The only person left was…

"Hatori Run!"

XXXX

Hatori sat up, gasping for air, seemingly choking on Saki's words as if they were his own; having emitted from his own mouth, fears and doubts. He covered his sweaty face with his palms, massaging the skin in the cover of darkness. It was so real. He ran a hand through his hair. _So fucking real…_

The light flicked on, scaring the darkness out of every corner. "Hatori-san?" Came the airy voice only Tohru could possess, a hint of sleep and a yawn rising up out of the depths of her throat. Her lips produced smacking noises before realization hit and her eyes popped wide open. "Hatori-san! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot you were staying with us tonight!"

Before Tohru could start a tangent of rambles Hatori interrupted her. "It's quite alright, Tohru. How's your ankle?"

"Oh!" she looked down, sporting her bandage proudly "Much better, thank you. I don't believe it was necessary for Shigure-san to go through all that trouble finding you to help me though. It's just a small sprain."

"Even a sprain can lead to a fracture. If left untreated many wounds will only get worse." He sighed. "Don't sell yourself short just because you think you're burdening others, Miss Honda."

"Uh…Yes, sir." She stammered, patiently wavering by the arch before moving forward and sitting on the other side of the table he was using for a bed. "And, please, it's Tohru."

With the small traces of a smile on his face, Hatori nodded. "Of course. As long as you refrain from calling me 'sir'"

"Deal." She giggled.

It was hard to imagine Tohru got up for no reason, but Hatori didn't have the means, not to mention the concern, to pry. He was physically and mentally exhausted, the only thought consuming his mind being that of sleep. How many hours had gone by? Were they even hours at all or was it merely minutes? Can nightmares reoccur twice?

Bleakly he looked up. He must have grumbled one of those questions out-loud because the look on Tohru's face was pure Kodak. And it was quite hysterical. If he weren't so tired, he might have chuckled. A little. Perhaps.

Then again probably not.

"Hatori-san?"

"Hmm?" was all he managed to muster without the loll of his tongue or rolling of his head on the table. He wanted to though. _Oh_, how he wanted to.

"Umm, if it's not too bold of me to say, you don't normally seem so willing to spend the night here…actually, I don't think I can remember you ever staying here. Just the vacation home. Is…something wrong, perhaps?" she paused. And with the pause the silence ensued.

Silence terrified Tohru, as we all know, it made her nervous. Unbelievably nervous. And it made her think; about things that mattered, but mostly about those that didn't. With that, her mind wandered to less important matters. Matters that involved Hatori being angry with her and deciding to never speak to her again for being so nosy; which eventually led to how her behavior would make her mother cry from disappointment.

And as the thoughts continued to drive, the silence followed; Hatori drifting asleep along the way. When Tohru finally felt the wave of panic reaching the shores, she broke and let the mile-a-minute-babble spill. "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have pried! I'm just really terrible at these kinds of things, you probably just missed seeing Shigure, after all. He is your long-time friend. Besides even if something was wrong it's your business, not mine…"

"Tohru..." Hatori sighed, inciting a yawn to pursue.

"Y-yes?"

"My problems don't concern you, yes, but not because I feel you are being too forward or prying too deep. I'd rather not involve anyone because the consequences could be that much more damaging. If I confessed and brought danger upon you, I would be unable to forgive myself."

Like with Kana, she thought briefly, sadly. "Oh."

"Be content knowing that I appreciate your concern. And if it helps more, I haven't had dinner that remarkable in decades. The maids cooking cannot compare."

She blushed, giving her obvious embarrassment away like a shining beacon. "It's not all that great. I'm sure Shigure's dinners were just as good, if not better when he cooked."

"When he cooked…" Hatori scoffed "…more like when he experimented. He's a mad scientist in the kitchen. That's why Yuki always did the cooking. And his wasn't much better…or so I've heard. Point is: you've done this household nothing, but good, Tohru. And I hope you decide to continue that, though it is no place of mine to ask."

"I will!" she put a fist to her chest, determination sinking in "I don't want to leave and I'll do anything to keep it this way!"

He smiled. "Good to hear. Now, if you don't mind, I think sleep is in order."

Tohru smiled and gently got up, walking his way. She patted his shoulder. "Will you at least take my bed for the night? I worry with you sleeping at the table."

"It's as good as a bed."

"But not good for your back." Tohru extended her hand "Come on."

For a minute, Hatori simply gazed at the hand. It was soft-looking, almost elegant, yet somehow childish. Thin, yet thick; yielding_ and_ solid. He shook his head and nodded. This sleep was getting to his train of thought. "I'll sleep in a room, on one condition: the bed is not yours."

She laughed. "I don't want to single out Kyo, but I _did _just replace his bed sheets."

"Perfect."


	10. The Object

The Object (of solution)

This place is a mess, she thought sleepily as she gazed at the neat, tidy placements of the décor. That was, figuratively speaking though, of course.

A mess was how one perceived it.

Hatori's life was cluttered at the moment, misplaced and unruly, but his condo was clean, perfectly decorated and symmetrical where he wanted it, so therefore his place was, very much indeed, a mess. She felt she could help him out. She had the time on her hands; time that could easily be spent throwing his valuables on the floor. But Saki figured that might give him an excuse to kick her to the curb. And to be quite honest, she liked the condo. Even if she _did_ hate it.

I'm tired, she thought as she rubbed her eyes. Her body, though, never granted her sleep the whole time she had managed to stay curled on that bed. Perhaps I need to find a new position. Then I might fall asleep. That was more than unlikely for her, but she continued to hold out some hope.

Her socks, having forsaken themselves during the toss in the bed, left her feet bare and frigid against the desolate tile floor. Skin slapped against glass, smacking with precision the more distance she put between herself and Hatori's room.

The kitchen. That was her destination. Though she sincerely doubted Hatori carried anything edible within the condo, she figured there was no hurt in looking at the very least. With her stomach feeling emptier than the condo itself, it seemed worth the effort.

As she reached the area, her hand skimmed thoughtfully across the bar-like counter's surface. It was smooth, cold and casting her image along the black marble. Just you and I, she ran a finger down the side of her reflection's cheek before willfully turning her attention to the upper cabinets.

This time, her eyes narrowed. This time she was determined, more than ever, to peel open those sky-high cabinet doors and reap the rewards. Saki looked around for a stool, but in her mind, she knew there were none.

Tall men need no feeble stools.

This was a job requesting back-up; time to call in the tippy-toes.

She gripped the counter before her with one hand, while readying her feet by standing on her toes.

Pushing off, Saki barely nicked the glossy cabinet handle before plummeting back down to the floor, feet smacking brilliantly against hard surface. It took her a moment to recover from gravity, but the lapse was quick and within minutes she was hopping back on wobbly toes, stretching her arm for supportive momentum. And it worked. For two seconds.

This case reminded her of the principle: In order to gain a little, something of equal value has to be lost; whereas momentum and height had been acquired, equilibrium and reaction had been lost.

With the added force, Saki's feet momentarily left the ground and when she fell back, her step and balance were on opposite footing thus causing her body to tumble to the ground. Instinctively reaching out to break her fall, Saki landed harshly on her hands, huffing when her body hit the floor. It hurt, as expected, but not so much to where she couldn't just shake off the pain and stand up; which is exactly what she intended to do until the pain in her right hand sharpened from pushing off the ground.

Satiating her curiosity on her hand's status, she flipped up her palm and examined the bandages. Her eyes widened.

Hm. This can't be good.

Blood. It was only a tiny amount, but the singular fact that _blood_ was coming from her hand probably wasn't the greatest of signs. Though removing the bandage wouldn't be one of her brighter ideas either. The bandage was protecting her hand at this point, what was the use in removing it even if there _was_ blood spouting from her palm?

Shaking it off, Saki decidedly left the bandage where it lay: on her hand and currently helping soak up blood.

When she was finally able to get up, settle and peer in to the cabinet, all the effort appeared hardly worth it. In the cupboard was a singular box of cereal, a practical brand, one of those generic kinds that spoke of how healthy it was and the benefits you could gain from eating it; which, internally, caused her mood to sour a bit. Saki liked anything generally full of flavor, whether it be sweet or tart she enjoyed that uncompromising distinction between this and that.

Looking toward the refrigerator, Saki imagined she would open the door and find month-old milk inside. But Hatori was too sensible. Even if he didn't eat either cereal or drink milk, he'd be fastidious enough to make sure both were within the sell-by dates. Saki could even see him throwing out whatever he had, the minute it marked the sell-by date's time.

Piqued, she crossed the kitchen in a few steps and opened the refrigerator door. With the popping sound of interrupted suction, the whooshing sound of opening and the drawl of cold air fastening itself around her feet, Saki discovered the fresh jug of milk sitting idly by a couple of water bottles. She also noted he kept his bread in the fridge, a few condiments and deli meat stored in separate bins. Long, thin cradles upon the door revealed energy drinks by the dozen lining the wall.

Her brow rose. Doctors shouldn't be drinking energy drinks. Doesn't he know better? She thought obtrusively grabbing one of the cans and popping it open. Either way, what's good for the goose is good for the gander she supposed. At least, that's what she'd tell him if he happened to argue her usage of his own choice of beverage.

A quick swig from the can was all she needed to blanch at the individual can. It was bitter, overwhelmingly bitter; as if over-indulging in the sense of bitterness would immediately clear up all thoughts of sleep and root you to awaken for the rest of the day. For a minute, she didn't doubt its properties. But as the bitter-taste faded on her tongue, so did the aware-tendency.

Hm. I can see why he has so many.

Probably trying one and never desiring another terrible taste for no added benefit, Hatori simply left the cans in his fridge to rot until that pending sell-by date came. Saki picked up her own can of disinterest and lovingly poured it down the sink, silently hoping the compound couldn't eat away at the pipes. She didn't want to have to resort to calling P. O. N. U. For if their name was any testament to their over-all work ethic then she was pretty sure they'd get here and never leave.

Saki yawned and left the can on the counter, but only because she couldn't figure out where Hatori would hide a trash bin and she was feeling too lazy to go digging around for it. Another thing she was feeling too lazy to go digging for was to keep good on her promise of finding something that screamed Hatori. Sure, she wanted to_ find_ it. But she didn't want to _look_ for it. There's a difference.

Suddenly the phone rang, Saki's head whipping to the table by the couch where she had overlooked a cordless phone being there earlier. In the condo, the ring echoed alarmingly loud in her ear and when the phone fell into a brief silence, the echoes only seemed that much louder.

Steadily pacing toward the ringing object, Saki examined the green glowing panel on the phone and hoped the contact actually flashed a name; not something undesirable like 'Unknown'. If the name hadn't wanted to be discovered, the buyer would have gotten a regular phone without caller ID.

But the name was as clear as day on the panel, announcing in bold black lettering just who it was calling the condo.

Saki ignored the flashing contact and walked back to the kitchen. Before her foot crossed the threshold, the phone beeped and a voice came through the speaker. Apparently this phone didn't only have caller ID, but an answering machine as well.

"Saki…it's me." Hatori's voice filed brilliantly through the speakers. Unconsciously Saki relaxed her shoulders, swaying gently against the counter. "Stupid of me to say because I'm sure by now you're well aware of whose calling. I wanted to check up on you to see how you were doing…" he paused seeming to lack a better reason of which to say he was really calling for.

Rolling her eyes, Saki walked back to the phone and sat next to it. I'm waiting, she thought a bit crossly.

"…that is…to say…" he sighed "I…hope you're feeling well. I'll be there in the morning when I've-" She hurriedly pressed the phone on and, as quick as the first reaction, pressed a button to turn it off.

Ridiculous. She didn't have time to waste on meaningless words of frivolous actions. He wasn't on his way back, so what? What did that matter? What did that _do?_ Nothing. This…is pointless, she grabbed her coat, slipped on her shoes and began filing out the door. But she forgot her socks. It seemed inconsequential, yet she couldn't get her brain to wrap around exiting until her socks were on her feet.

With half a mind, she shuffled back in to Hatori's room and searched for the socks. Which quickly turned in to a hunt. Socks didn't have legs of their own, it wasn't as though they could just get up and hide themselves, so where in the heck could they be laying? She dipped below the bed to look underneath, but even dust bunnies didn't sneak under there. Then she tried to reach under a dresser only to reveal nothing. When she stood up to look around the floor, something small and black caught her eye.

Sticking out from between the mattress and box-spring were both of her socks, clinging to the middle division by their toes. Deftly, she yanked them from the seam. Socks in hand (both, she counted), Saki's nose scrunched as something else fell out from between the two solid mats. It was soft looking, much like her socks, but it filled out more. The color was tan and again she couldn't help except to think practical.

Saki tugged the smashed fabric out of its cavity, slightly in-taking air on a gasp when she realized what the object was. She smiled.

Suddenly, leaving didn't seem like the best option. Bringing the article to her chest, Saki walked out of the room to sit on the couch and study it a bit more closely.

The tan was more of a golden yellow in the light. Not a practical color at all for such a stern man. She chuckled a bit at the small black bead representing the thing's eye; there was another in a similar fashion on the opposite side. At the end of the snout there was a line of fabric representing a small smile on the inanimate objects face. Cute, but she was pretty sure these creatures had no means of smiling. Much like Hatori.

Clutching the soft fabric and bringing it to her cheek, Saki grimaced. It reminded her…too much of home. Of Megumi.

He wasn't a boy that often held toys or needed anything besides the necessities, but there was this one stuffed animal that he just couldn't let go of. It was a dragon, albeit a cute one, not one of those scary looking, intimidating dragons they saw at parades and festivals. Nonetheless it reminded her of this plush that she was holding now. Her bottom lip wobbled.

She missed him, she realized. There were nights she could go on without using him as a crutch, but by the next day or so, she'd need him by her side, need him to comfort her mind and allow her body sleep. This was one of those nights. One of the nights where he'd go to his friend's and she had to suck it up and face another long night then day. One of the nights where she sat up staring at the television, watching his favorite anime, but never really getting in to the plot herself, just watching and waiting. Hoping maybe that the familiarity of the sounds he created when home would help ease her mind.

Hoping, waiting, watching, but never receiving. And as much as she wanted Megumi, she didn't want him either. She wanted to rely on herself for once even if it was failing miserably. She wanted to become her own strong source to pull from. But somehow she knew that was impossible. So she wanted the next best thing: a stronger source than Megumi. She wanted…

Saki blinked. A tear slid silently down her cheek, hidden by the tuft of hair covering her face as realization slowly manifested itself in her mind.

…she wanted Hatori.


	11. The Terms

The Terms (of forgiveness)

The aspect of control employed simple mechanics for little to apparent reasons. Much like a person who pinched themselves to awaken from an uncontrolled dream; as the dream was not desired, the person was not in control and therefore, not pleased. And while Hatori was fully aware of people like this, he could not help, but to understand that he, himself, was one as well.

Hatori had gotten up long before his alarm clock went off. A practice that he employed to show that: he was still in control. Today was no different…in some ways. He showered, dressed and drink tea as quietly as he could, just like any other day, but not before hearing the racket that was, indeed, Shigure's household.

"Get back here ya damn rat!" Promptly following the voice was a crash, bang and boom.

A quieter, more soft-spoken voice lit up, coming down the stairs at a slow speed. "I was never running away, you imbecile. You're feet are so heavy it's hard for you to catch up."

"What did you say!"

"You heard me…" Yuki scowled pacing past the dining table before stopping, backtracking and looking in at Hatori's back as he sipped his morning tea. "Hatori?"

"No!" Another, much more annoying voice cried "My house! Don't ruin the house! They've stopped funding me for repairs!"

"Oh shut up!" Kyo yelled back.

Yuki turned on the door and closed it, muffling some of the background banter "Hatori…I didn't realize you were here." He then grimaced "It's not time for another check-up is it?"

Hatori chuckled. "No, Yuki. I merely stopped by to tend to Tohru's ankle last night."

The silence filling the space thereafter spoke of Yuki's remorse towards the issue of Tohru's ankle. After all, he had been partly at fault. "Is she…alright?"

"Tohru's health no longer concerns me. As long as she keeps her foot elevated and stays off of it, she should heal in no time." He said firmly, as if concern for another left a bad taste in his mouth.

Yuki raised a brow at the doctor's behavior. Hatori was always a strange one. He was hard to decipher and often had motives that remained hidden. The boy had to wonder if his staying at Shigure's house was a motive within itself.

Moving to the opposite end of the table, Yuki knelt in attempt to engage in conversation. He wasn't one that often spoke much either, but he was curious as to why Hatori was here. And that alone was enough to make him question the enigma. "Sounds to me like Tohru was an excuse to get away." He paused "What are you running from, Hatori?"

"My own shadow…" he mumbled. After all, it might as well have been. Saki was a seventeen year old girl, just wishing to make it through high school. Who was he to judge her when his sins were so much worse? "What is a murderer to you, Yuki?"

Violet eyes widened in curiosity, the bridge of his nose scrunching against the force of his brows. He knew what a murderer was "I don't think you'd like to hear my answer."

"At this point…there's nothing I'd like more."

"Akito." Yuki blurted, face pallid with forced emptiness. Underneath the void, Hatori could see anger, sadness, and fear. "…a man that steals hope, happiness and peace…_that_ is a murderer."

The conviction the boy said such words with had Hatori beside himself. This boy went through so much more than anyone could possibly ever know. The hate in his eyes ran deep, the hurt in his heart, even deeper.

Hatori nodded. "…steals hope, happiness and peace." Somehow, I don't believe Saki could do either of the three.

"I'm sorry if I missed the point, Hatori-san. But why the sudden question?" It was hard to understand what Hatori was thinking, even at the best of times no one could understand what dangers lurk in the solemn man's mind. Though to say he was solemn now…didn't quite do justice.

When Hatori started smiling so much more was a mystery. Yuki wanted to give the credit to Tohru with how infectious she could be to everyone around her. But…while that was true…it didn't seem entirely true. Like there was something missing in between the pages. Or someone, rather. "Is…someone else involved?"

Hatori glanced at Yuki, the shakiness was evident in the boy's voice. "Involved…with me or us?" He sipped back the question.

"I-? Both…either."

"Us? No. Me? Yes, but not by choice. More like accident." He stopped. "You, on the other hand, don't need to be concerned. Once this person is fully healed, she'll be out of my life and we can move like normal again."

"So it's a woman."

Hatori stopped the cups ascent to his lips. Did I say that? He thought he had rearranged his sentence to leave out any clue of 'the person' being a girl, knowing that would make Yuki even more apprehensive. But apparently he had spilled the answer with just one slip up. Damn, he needed to think even more before speaking.

Without answering, Hatori continued the sipping of his tea.

"You're a grown man, Hatori. I'm not going to berate you for taking in a woman if she's sick. In fact, you should know better than anyone how to handle a situation like this." He smiled "You're probably more level-headed than all of us put together."

He stared at Yuki in silence, in awe. The young man was definitely growing up. There was just one thing Yuki was wrong about.

"Ha! I found you, ya damn rat!" Kyo rudely slammed the paper-door back.

Yuki sighed. "I wasn't hiding. You're just an idiot."

"What! Say that to my face!"

Bowing, Yuki got up, walked pass the cat and down the hall, their endless bickering following them relentlessly.

"I think it's time I start heading out as well." Hatori placed the cup down on the table and stood.

"Leaving so soon, Hatori-tan!" Shigure grinned, popping in. "But I wanted you to stay! We could go…"

"You only want me here because I can drive."

The dog gasped, clutching his chest once again. "You wound me!"

"Really." Hatori shook his head, annoyed with every fiber of his being.

"I can drive too…"

"Legally?"

Shigure opened his mouth to speak, but then pursed his lips much like a fish's.

Though Yuki was learning fast on growing up, Shigure was one adult Hatori knew would never reach such a level of maturity. So…why was he their guardian again? Grabbing his coat and walking out the door, Hatori turned to face Shigure.

"Good luck." Shigure smiled, that rare moment of sympathy seeping through his face. It was obvious, this time, he meant it.

Hatori nodded, having no need to say anything. He didn't want to spoil the blissful moment of old friendships meeting better bonds. Or of silence. Shigure being silent was also rare.

"Give her a kiss for me! I'll be waiting!" he sang as Hatori got in the car and drove off.

"Imbecile."

XXXX

He must have seemed like a stalker, though most knew this was_ his_ condo.

Still it had to appear strange. For the past ten minutes he had resolved on staring at his condo door, rather than _opening_ it. Sure, he had a key, but he didn't feel he had permission. Permission, he scoffed, listen to me. I sound like a child. If he couldn't unlock the door and open it, the least he could do, at this point, was knock on it.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Three times was enough. Unless she didn't hear it, which in that case would incite him to knock three more times.

"Saki. It's me." He leaned against the door, repeating his first statement as he had done on the answering machine.

"You have a key." She declared from behind the door, causing him to jump at the abruptness of her voice. Or would she be considered in front? Hn.

"I know." He paused "But I'd rather have you open it."

Silence crept up on them as it had so many times in the past few days and he briefly wondered what she was doing, what she was thinking.

On the other side of the malignant door, Saki sighed and leaned against it much in the same manner as Hatori did. I'm tired, she thought for not-the-first-time as she put a hand to her head in order to keep the dizziness at bay. "What's the password?"

Silence engulfed the door and the hall. Obviously Hatori was thrown for a loop with this new proposition. "Password?"

"A word that will give me reason to unlock this door..."

"I know what it _is_…" he reasoned "I just don't know _what_ it is."

"Think…" she looked at the object held gently in her hand "…dragon."

Hatori's eyes widened "Seahorse."

Inside, the lock clicked and the door cracked open. A weary-looking Saki stood on the other side, plush-toy of a sea-horse held in her hand. "Bingo."


	12. Who Needs Enemies

Who Needs Enemies (when you've got friends like me)

Upon first sight, he felt guilty. Even coating the words with kindness couldn't help her disposition. To say the least, Saki was a mess.

Her hair fell in the same silent waves, but was frayed. As if she had tried to get some sleep and ended up tossing and turning instead. Bags under her eyes were a testament to that assumption. And her clothes, though disheveled, seemed put on haphazardly. But her eyes didn't reveal a thing. No, it even appeared as though they were saying "I look fine, I feel fine, I _am_ fine." so much to the point of where it became an unhealthy habit.

Hatori reached out to touch her cheek, maybe get a sense of how she was feeling, but Saki would have none of it. She raised the plush, speaking of her victory, to subtly dodge his hands.

It was his small seahorse which had been hiding, or rather been shoved, under his bed for some time now. Silently he cursed himself for not having tossed the rag out the window, but he never had the heart to throw away a gift.

"I see you've found something personal…other than files."

"_More_ personal than files, Sohma-san." She quipped, walking toward one of the huge windows with the plush in hand.

For a minute he imagined her petting the plush as one would with a feline in their arms, but as she turned to face him, eyes distant, the image faded and instead of a plotting girl with a cat, he simply saw a woman. A very _tired_ woman.

He shook his head. "You should get some sleep."

"Impossible." She stated, kissing the plush "It's not in my nature to sleep."

"Ah. That's right. Biologically enhanced humans don't need sleep."

Saki didn't smile at the joke offered because she wasn't done with this man. Just because he could fairly easily amuse her, didn't mean she was about to let him get away with his last cowardly act. Hatori stayed still as her eyes remained cold, seemingly freezing him to the spot. "Precisely." She finally uttered, moving back toward him.

Hatori forced himself to remain passive and still, though his feet were urging him to back away. He allowed himself to run away once, at some point, this had to end. And he was going to make sure that that time was now.

She closed the distance, her eyes level with his chest. Her head inclined, challenging him to run before she whipped one of her arms away from the plush, bending it above his heart. Her thumb raised, pointer finger extended to simulate a gun aiming at the beating organ.

"Bang."

He blinked.

"You're dead."

"So it would seem."

"Is that what you imagined I would do?" she paused, her hand flattening on his chest "Is that what you feared?"

He sighed, itching to grab her hand and toss it away as if it were acidic. Burning through his skin and melting his heart in the third degree. "Looks that way, doesn't it?"

She pulled her hand away, sensing his unease about it. "A hand is only a hand, Hatori. Yet it seems mine is more trouble than I previously thought…"

"That's not it." He rubbed his brow. It was high time he stop hurting this girl. Hatori was a doctor for physical infirmity, not emotional. And he was tired of causing her pain. She didn't deserve as much from him. Spotting the plush, he extended his hand in askance.

Saki handed it over without a word.

He fingered the snout and smiled. It was easy to remember how ridiculous he felt when he opened the present. The seahorse bit wasn't so far-fetched, but a_ smile_ on its snout? Seahorses don't _smile_. Still Momiji was so anxious when Hatori cracked his own smile at the object, immediately thanking the boy and receiving a rambunctious hug of excitement. It was a moment he'd treasure, but the plush wasn't treated as nicely as it should have been.

While Hatori didn't have the heart to throw it out, he also didn't have the heart to show it out. It was either hide it someplace no one would think to look or burn it. Obviously the first option won his opinion as the latter of the two didn't seem logically sound.

Hatori looked at her with a huff. It wasn't _her _he was afraid of. If it was, he would have never come back to the condo. At times like this, he wished he could explain his problems openly with her if only for her peace of mind. Then she would understand why he so feared a woman's touch. As gentle as it may seem, in the end, it would be a slap in the face.

"I may never be able to go without some kind of discomfort when you touch me, Saki. But that doesn't mean I fear you. Moreover, I fear the consequences of such actions."

Saki slowly nodded, looking through him. She must have known. The dim light in her eyes told him she did.

Hatori reached out, watching in triumph as Saki backed away in confusion. He cupped the side of her face and pulled it toward him. Her eyes widened.

"Good. It's not just me, then." He spoke, examining her expression.

"I have tricks up my sleeve all the same, Sohma-san."

He laughed. "I don't doubt that. And please. Hatori."

She nodded and allowed herself to be escorted to the couch. "Going to force me to watch boring news reports all night?"

"If it makes you fall asleep, I might just."

Saki grinned as she settled in to the white, firm cushions of his couch, Hatori's weight dipping it more to her left. She closed her eyes and felt him still as if something had spooked him. Must be their close proximity because she didn't imagine there was anything or anyone else with them to possibly scare him. Then she felt a warmth wrap around her shoulders before another settled on her cheek and up her face.

She peaked from behind heavy eyelids to find her head nestled against his chest, his strong arm wrapped around her frame and pulling her close. Now knowing why he went rigid, Saki opened her mouth to protest. Hatori sensed the dispute, decidedly stopping it before it could start by patting her head.

"Shh. Go to sleep." He demanded in hushed tones, watching silently as Saki's eyes drooped closed and opened only to repeat the same process a few more times before finally giving in and settling in to sleep.

Her breathing evened out fast, speaking of her exhaustion in tones no one could seem to understand. Hatori, barely moving his head to look, watched her stir, her hand finding its way on to his chest, clutching desperately at the fabric. He let out a sigh. As long as her other hand didn't find its way on to his back, he was in the clear, but just to take the extra precaution…

Hatori grabbed one of the accent pillows and shoved it behind his back, wedging a blockade so that her hand wouldn't be able to poke through.

Not great, but better for sure.

Leaning his head back, he decided closing his own eyes for a minute or two wasn't going to hurt him in any particular way. He hoped. Easy to say he was tired himself. Sleepless nights from work, from Akito, and on top of that his worry for Saki grew much more in the few days he spent with her. More so in those that he didn't. It was all a formula for a shut down like hers.

And maybe that wasn't so bad. Hatori needed some sleep too. After all, Shigure's house couldn't amount to good sleep when rat and cat bickered all the time.

Arm going limp around Saki's shoulder, Hatori succumbed to the same darkness that was sleep. The same darkness and the same warmth; a pleasant warmth that, in the back of his mind, he knew he could only receive from Saki.

XXXX

There are only a few ways you can wake from a really good sleep. Being the less appealing option you can jolt awake, you could very well also sleep-talk yourself awake after the ending of a nice dream or you can very lazily open your eyes to realize that you had no desire to go back to sleep because you were fully rested. And Hatori did just that.

When his eyes opened, he couldn't have been more useless than Ayame trying to win over his brother's heart with demands. The first thought bubbling to his head in urgency was pushed back by the more pleasant, sleep-drenched thought of how great that was. Hatori hadn't have slept that sound in, well, decades it seemed.

Then he noticed the lump of two pillows to his side. One was the small one he had placed behind his back and the second was a bigger one, set as a divider. But there was no one on the opposite side of it.

Hatori jumped awake, fully aware that Saki was not next to him where she had been before. Feeling a vague sense of disappointment, Hatori reached over to feel the couch cushion. It was cold; revealing the general lapse of time Saki had been gone. How did I not wake up? He thought, a bit frazzled by the development.

"Ah, you're awake." Saki stepped in to the open, a towel draped over her head, a white button down shirt covering her body. Her hands were rubbing the towel hard against her skull, speaking of the drenched state her hair was in. Seems a shower was at its ending when he awoke.

He cocked a brow. "That's my shirt."

The girl paused, looked down and smiled. "It is. Would you like it back?" she fingered the lapel, slowly drawing nearest the secured button. She flicked the first one open and moved to the next.

"No. Keep it." He stated, inwardly growling. It was bad enough he could see through the filmy shirt in the first place, he didn't need her bearing it all without even some semblance of coverage.

"You're too kind." she continued along the room, turning to enter the kitchen and open the fridge. Saki single-mindedly grabbed the water bottle before letting the door close. "You've seen me naked before…I don't see what's the big deal, come a second time, Ha-san."

Hatori's head lolled to the side, gazing at the kitchen as she walked out, staring at her sipping on cold water.

The big deal is you're being naked…and my being a man, he thought hesitantly sighing. In order to change her in to warmer clothes, yes, he had seen her, but he was a doctor, a professional. Letting forbidden desires get in the way of his work was not ethical. And he'd never had such a problem with that before. He was able to shut out his mind and focus on the problem and patient at hand. Clothes on or off had never been a problem.

Until Saki.

His eyes had lingered a second too long and for a moment he thought to himself that she was beautiful. But after dressing her, he felt completely immoral; disgusted by his outlandish thoughts that only a depraved mind would offer. Hatori thought he was immune to such emotions anymore. What was it in her that unearthed this change?

Suddenly Hatori wanted to know something more about her. Something that had nagged him since the day he brought her to the empty condo. Something that drove him away in doubt. It was easy to_ want_ to know, but as he opened his mouth, he found it hard to_ ask_. Quickly shutting his mouth in disapproval, Hatori hummed a sigh and turned his head away.

Saki replaced the cap on the water-bottle and walked over to him, sat next to him. Slowly she placed the bottle on the coffee table, trivially noting that it too was glass, transparent and indefinitely easy to break. "You're a lot like Tohru-kun…" a slight smile was beginning to caress her features. Talking about her friends often did that sort of thing to her "…when you want to ask something, you tend to hold back and refrain from asking it. Though she tends to be a bit more vocal than you, she immediately regrets asking the question and tries to cover it with unnecessary babble. It's her way of apologizing."

"Are you saying silence is equivalent to babbling?"

"No. But I _am_ saying, stop regretting asking a question…when you haven't even asked it yet."

Hatori stared at her in disbelief for a few moments before regaining his composure. There was still a little demon on his shoulder, poking him in the eye and telling him to ask the question, but he was more than satisfied with her just _being_ there. The question demanding an answer could wait, for now.

"Have you eaten anything yet?"

"Hm…perhaps…" Her eyes drifted away. Scanning the ceiling, he was reminded of the way Kana used to look up when she was thinking before she would jump up and give him an answer or a boisterous idea. "…if air counts as substance..." And with that he was reminded how much of Kana, Saki did _not_ resemble.

Hatori folded his head in his hands. "Then I suggest we get food first."


	13. Nice is A Term

Nice is A (relative) Term

"A rose on a grave-site…"

Hatori believed with all his heart that Saki had the intentions of scaring the poop out of him. Whenever he would fall in to the depths of his own mind, Saki seemed to have knowledge enough to speak something close to nonsense to bring him out of the void and back to the present.

"Excuse me?" he lifted his head from the black coffee. Cream and sugar were placed on the table for his convenience, but Hatori left the amenities untouched and unwanted. He wasn't one to use cream and sugar normally, since he always seemed to need the extra kick that black coffee gave him. He had a feeling today would be no different.

"You don't talk much." She deadpanned.

"Perhaps I have nothing to say."

Saki looked up from her empty plate to stare at his coffee. "Nothing to say…or nothing you _can_ say?"

Hatori pushed the coffee cup aside. Her eyes didn't follow it. "Sometimes what you can and can't say are two of the same things, Saki. It's not always so black and white."

"No. It isn't. It's grey and red." She simpered as Hatori's emotions didn't change. He was getting used to her. "Like roses on a grave-site, Ha-san. The outside may seem pretty and perhaps even a little weathered, but…underneath still lay the remains of a decomposing carcass. Naturally we only want to see what is appealing to our eyes…not the ugly secrets beneath the surface."

The door to the café jingled, signaling the waitress swiftly coming out to refill coffees of the patrons who sat outside. But there weren't many. It was a week day and students wouldn't be caught dead at a café while school was in session. At least…most students.

"More coffee, sir?" the woman asked, politely, quickly refilling Hatori's cup when he nodded his answer. She then proceeded to move near Saki to pick up the empty plate, whisking it away on her tray as she moved hastily back inside. Obviously, Saki made her quite uneasy.

"Even a waitress as simple as she…" Saki traced an unknown drawing on the table's shell "…is appealed to surface beauty."

Hatori looked through the door to the café to catch sight of the woman running back and forth. "She's…pleasant."

"That's a relative term."

Genuinely intrigued by Saki's train of thoughts, Hatori decided to inquire more as he continued to gaze at the waitress inside. He was curious as to why Saki seemed so impartial to one who had treated them quite respectfully. "How so?"

"When the woman has a breather, she will talk to her co-workers. Seeing as they are mostly women, she will point to you and, perhaps, blush a bit. You're attractive, handsome and clean-cut. You are the definition of: surface beauty. When one inquires about me…she will scowl." Saki's finger stopped in its tracing tracks on the table as she looked up at Hatori.

His expression ranged from one with an open mind to one who didn't want to see reality any longer. "Do you peg people with this attribute often?"

"Only those that have it." She answered. "I am not very attractive to the eye. Quite the contrary, actually…I'm fond of scaring others."

Hatori didn't stop his eyebrow from quirking at the comment. Yeah, he figured that out about her early on. And it didn't stop there. She knew just when to strike up a conversation to scare the wits out of a person near her. He also heard from Shigure that she knew how to manipulate others to do things she could not.

"Don't sell yourself short." He said with a grimace, placing the tip on the table, underneath a napkin holder to keep it stable. When he stood, he outstretched his hand towards her with an air that demanded she grab it or…die? Hm. Curious. She wasn't reading his waves wrong. "Come on." He added, shaking his hand for emphasis "We're leaving."

"So soon?" she observed. "You didn't even touch your second cup of coffee."

"I suppose one cup was all I needed."

It was a lie; a sad, pathetic, blatant lie.

In truth, he could have used that cup of coffee. God only knew he needed the added caffeine to break away the hold a new headache was having on him. But Hatori couldn't risk it. Couldn't risk the awareness it may bring him, couldn't risk the surge of energy that might propel him to do something stupid. He couldn't risk the problems.

Saki had enough knowledge to sense this, had enough curiosity to question it, but she refrained. Yes, curiosity often overruled her senses, but in this case, she was afraid to hear the answer. For once, sense told her it was better to just keep her mouth shut. And for once, Saki listened.

With a sigh of feigned annoyance, she placed her hand in his, waiting for him to lead the way.

Hatori nodded and wasted no time to continue down the district, away from the café. His brow furrowed in annoyance; annoyance at himself, at the people in the café…but mainly at himself for being angry at those people.

He saw Saki's prediction take place right in front of his eyes, hadn't expected any less to be quite honest. But he wasn't expecting the male employees to look over at the woman's gesturing. Hadn't expected them to look; hadn't expected them to appear interested; and most certainly had _not _expected them to watch Saki as if she were nothing more than a piece of meat. The eyes that roamed her up in down with a smirk off to the side inflamed a rage he thought wasn't burning within him.

Yes, he needed to get away from the café. Away from those people and the world they were living in. Away where he could infinitely deny the ugly emotions that he harbored within his own soul.

Because Saki had been right.

Hatori was like a rose on top of a grave-site. While he could blend in to society with little to no problem, inside he was no prettier than a rotting corpse. In fact, he had a suspicion that he was irrefutably, much more repulsive…

…for a rotting man, had no thoughts.

XXXX

"And where is it that you plan on going?"

It wasn't until Saki spoke; unwittingly scaring him out of his thoughts again, that Hatori took notice of how tightly he was gripping her hand. Thoroughly ashamed of himself, Hatori let go, stopping briefly at a bench to collect his thoughts and his breath.

"Sorry..." he apologized, rubbing his forehead in hopes to will the massive headache in to hiding. It didn't work.

Saki's head fell to the side, looking hopelessly like a confused puppy. And much like a full grown dog, he was sure she no longer did that very often. "No need to apologize. Just explain."

Hatori poked sight from around his hand. "I just…didn't want to see the truth about that woman…" _and those men._

Expressionless, she sat next to him, silently rubbing a hand on his back. "It would be so easy to say I believe you and to leave it at that. But…I don't."

He chuckled. "I expected as much."

"What Ha-san saw…was lust." She watched infamously as he craned his head to look at her, raising it from the palms of his hands. And what Ha-san experienced…was jealousy, she thought, but kept it to herself. With the state Hatori was in, she didn't imagine he wanted to hear it.

Methodically ignoring the issue, Hatori shook his head. "You need to go back to school."

"I can always finish what I loss in the make-up exams…I do that anyway." She surprised herself with the answer. In a round-about-sort-of way, she was telling Hatori she wanted to stay with him. If she went back to school, she had a feeling she would never see him again. She couldn't mess with Hatori if she couldn't see him. And where was the fun in that?

But she knew he wouldn't be convinced so easily. She was lucky he forgot enough before. It wasn't likely he'd forget another time. Saki opened her bandaged palms to look at them…and saw her solution.

Pressing her hand against the bench, Saki hissed, wincing against her palm as she brought it up to nurse in her lap. Hatori immediately looked over and with wide eyes caught the sight of blood on her bandages. "And where did _that_ stem from?"

"Where else?" she mused "My hand _is_ injured."

Repressing the urge to roll his eyes, Hatori unwound the bandage to examine her wound. Inflammation told him this newly found patch of blood, hadn't just occurred. Coagulated blood told him Saki was the sneaky con-artist that Shigure portrayed her to be. The little minx.

His instincts told him to blow her cover and reprimand the child she was being. His heart told him to play-along. Besides, it might just score him some brownie-points. Stifling the urge to smile, Hatori patted her wrist and moved on to the next step.

"Regrettably, the only place I have medical equipment is my office." He paused. "Since we're already in town, I don't see any harm in fetching it…but after that…you're going home."

"Haven't you heard, Hatori? Home is where the heart is." She paused "My home…may not be home at all."

Sighing, Hatori got up, unconsciously grabbing her hand again as they strolled down the side-walk. "If that's the case, tell your heart to tell me where your home is."

She frowned and didn't answer. He took her silence as indecision. He couldn't be more wrong.

Saki already knew what her _heart_ wanted. Easily ignored, her head told her otherwise. Not to say her heart wasn't a smart one. No, it was pretty smart. Normally, people would say their heart was stupid to fall in love, depending on the type of person who warranted such a response. Saki had no doubt her heart was a smart one. Because it knew enough of Hatori to enjoy him; knew enough of Hatori to be attracted to him; knew enough of Hatori to _fear_ him. Fear him and fear the possibility that…

…his heart wasn't in the same place.

XXXX

Triumph is a far more powerful emotion than disappointment; namely because triumph was fairly easy to squash.

Hatori just didn't know _how_ to squash it.

For the better part of an hour, Saki had been snooping through his office, reading nondescript files and pamphlets of diseases and how to cope with them. She was more or less waiting for Hatori to pull her aside and wrap her hand up. But he just couldn't seem to find the bandages.

"Saki, could you check in the bottom drawer of the cabinet to your right? I might have misplaced them."

Complying with his request, Saki pulled out files, more files and, alas, more files. "You could wrap my hand with paper."

Hatori growled. "Do you realize how many _hands_ have touched those files?"

She smiled. He squirmed so easily. "Sterile hands in a sterile office."

"Really?" he searched hastily through his desk drawers "I've never known you to be one that takes things at face value."

"You've never known me." She stated simply, gathering the files in her arms and dumping the contents on a seat. Hatori could sort through them later.

He glanced behind him and saw the paper littering his chair, the patient bench, the floor and, well, who was he trying to kid, the paper was everywhere. "Could you clean that up and help?"

Saki covered her mouth, hiding a very small smile. It had to be a sin; to love inducing panic and anger in a person. Especially in Hatori. He was rather interesting when he wasn't all clean cuts and sharp corners. She thought she wanted someone like that; someone who was refined, practical, and disciplined. But she was finding more and more that she preferred Hatori…well…as he was: Hatori.

Starting to pick up the files, Saki bent over.

Noticing a paper with a familiar name, she quickly pushed every other paper aside and went to grab the one. In her mind's eye, the writing and even the color of the paper stood out. She knew it was the denpa talking and since it hadn't spoke to her in so long, Saki couldn't help, but feel compelled to touch the paper. She was sorry she ever did.

Her finger touched the corner of the page and she immediately felt sick. Suddenly the room was spinning in a torrent surge of emotion that seemed to evolve in the form of a whirlwind circling her ever-stilling body.

The hurt, the anger, the _hate_; she couldn't sort through all the negative emotions without feeling as if they were a creation from her own mind, her _own_ hate. It was immediately recognized that she wouldn't feel satisfied until others were hurting as she was, others were suffering like she had, and until something was ruined for them as life had been ruined for her.

It hurt; it hurt so much to feel this negatively towards a person, towards humanity, towards the world. She had only felt this anger, this type of blind rage once before: when she had almost destroyed someone's life.

Sure, she had taunted Hatori, tested him by calling herself a murderer. And while she wasn't one, she once had been very close to becoming one. And perhaps taunting others about it, flaunting it to make it seem casual, was her only defense; a mechanism that induced others to run from her so as they would avoid suffering. Because despite all of her 'big' talk, Saki was afraid she might kill someone she never meant to hurt. Someone close to her; someone she loved.

Her eyes shot up. It was sickening. It was painful. And then it wasn't anything. Her eyes focused and he was standing there beside her; having enough sense to not touch her, but being caring enough to be near her. The hateful feelings died the longer she looked at him; her own feelings overpowering the ones that didn't belong to her. Her fingers slacked, the paper dropped to the floor and Saki fell forward.

Hatori followed direction quite well. The minute she dropped, he knew a barrier had been lifted and took his opportunity to catch her, stabilizing her form so that she could look at him.

Unfortunately for him, he received the barely conscious woman in a hug. A common mistake that most might make in this sort of situation; he _was_ standing while she was on the floor, after all. He had to twist his shoulders just right in order to stop her from falling to the hard surface of his office floor. But common mistakes were unacceptable for Hatori; they were forbidden.

Saki's eyes registered his form dipping in front of her when she heard a 'pop' in consecutive order with his hand wrapping around her back. And then his hand was gone. His waves, even, had changed. She pried open her eyes to see what had happened, but her vision was fogged by smoke.

Still, through the smoke and just barely able to recognize the outline, Saki noticed movement. _Small _movement.

She placed her hands out to the side to catch herself from falling; now that Hatori was gone, now that the smoke was dissipating and now that she could see everything clearly. Her eyebrows lifted in question at the source of the movement lying helpless underneath her body and only one thought rose to her mind:

Seahorses don't belong in medical offices.


	14. Today Is That Day

Today Is (not) That Day

In a situation comparative to the current one, words did not constitute the meaning of actions or feelings. It was one of those concepts that when someone told you you had to be there to get the full experience: you just _had_ to be there. And in a situation where a person transformed in to an animal, there were no words.

You just had to be there.

Saki on the other hand,_ was_ there; above a seahorse, questioning her sanity. It was easier to focus on the waves of the creature, as it held similarities to Hatori, but the denpa had adapted to an animal life-form so they weren't the same by any respects.

Carefully, she reached out her hands and cupped the animal. "Hm…I would tell you to explain this to me…but I don't imagine you can speak."

The seahorse only continued to twirl its fins instinctively.

She knew, as did most people, that sea-horses lived in the sea. The sea consisted of salt water. But here in the medical office, she couldn't fathom them carrying salt water for any reason or at least at the right Ph for this particular creature. And seeing as she had no prior knowledge on how to care for aquatic creatures (even goldfish were far out of her range of expertise), Saki figured if she somehow found salt and poured it in water, she'd still end up killing the creature; or at the very least end up shocking Hatori in to a salt-seizure.

In the middle of an intense debate (involving whether to throw the seahorse in water or not), the denpa brought up the thoughts of a story book. Saki was going to swat them away, push them off further, until she realized the concept of the story. The Frog Prince.

It was a well-known fairytale, one that told of a Princess who kissed a frog and in return received a Prince, as the prince had been turned in to a frog and needed a kiss to break the spell. There were other adaptations which would tell the story a bit differently, but the matter of the concept her denpa purposely made stand out: was the kiss.

Kiss the frog and it transforms in to a prince. In this case: Kiss the seahorse and maybe it'll turn in to a Hatori. Only one way to find out.

Saki lifted the creature to her face. If she didn't know any better she would say the creature looked surprised, terrified and disgusted all at once. "And yet _I'm_ the one kissing _you_." She said.

The seahorse stopped fluttering, seemingly glaring in its grace.

Saki smiled "That's better."

She closed her eyes and as quick as she could possibly manage: kissed the seahorse. Here she was expecting wet and slimy, but in the end she was unable to tell before soft, feathery lips brushed against hers, a pop going off in the background. Questioning her ability to feel, Saki experimentally pressed closer, kissed harder. Those were definitely not seahorse lips.

But she couldn't force herself to back away.

It was, well, a kiss. There were no frilly words to coat the fact that this was, indeed, nothing more than a kiss. And while she was still a high-school girl, she wasn't one to make things seem more than they actually were. She had to admit though, for a first kiss, Hatori certainly didn't disappoint.

He pulled away first; more like pushed her back by her shoulders. Saki didn't mind though. No, she rarely ever _did mind_ what he did. In her own fashion, she licked her lips and then opened her eyes to find Hatori kneeling stark naked in front of her.

"Curious." She focused easily on his eyes. The muted olive color made it simple. "Ha-san tastes like salt-water."

Hatori sat still for a moment; eyes full of nothing, but begging to speak of something, remained clouded at best. He removed his hands from her shoulders. "A side-effect."

"Hm…interesting. No one tastes like Ha-san."

If there were water in his mouth, he might have choked on it. Hatori rarely ever spit and would be inclined not to do so; if anything it was disgusting and he would much rather choke than do something disgusting. "No one? So you have…_tasted_ others before?" Wow; strangest question ever asked.

"No." obviously Saki didn't find it strange. But being Saki, he imagined that 'strange question' didn't exist in her vocabulary "Still…I presume unless another goes and dips in the sea, they wouldn't taste anything like you. In fact, I don't think dipping in the sea will quite cut-it."

Glancing down, Hatori swiftly looked back up at Saki whom, though looking innocent was still staring at him. He didn't want to take a chance at her glancing down…further. "As much as I would enjoy continuing this conversation in my birthday-suit, I think it's time you hand me my garments."

Garments. Since when did men start calling their clothes 'garments'. Saki smiled. Good old Ha-san. She looked to the floor. Sure enough, underneath her body, were his clothes. She supposed she would have fallen on top of him if it weren't for his…gift? Trait? Magic Trick? Spontaneous Explosion?

Saki lifted her knees just enough so that she could pull the clothes out from beneath her and hand them to Hatori. In acceptance, Hatori reached for the clothes. "Thank you." He whispered and stood away.

A smile caressed her face as she got a handful view of his butt. Being the person that she was, Saki didn't think she'd have any interest in the opposite sex's body when it came down to it. She wasn't horny, never felt 'the urge' that most teens considered normal. Even Arisa had mentioned her desires to Saki once or twice and was utterly surprised when Saki told her that she had no idea what Arisa was talking about. Yes, Saki already knew that she wasn't a normal person.

"…do you mind?" Hatori's voice yanked her from her thoughts and she looked up to notice that he had been watching her watch his butt.

Saki almost laughed "No, I don't mind. In fact, I quite enjoy the view. You're body is in remarkable shape."

Hatori sighed. Despite him wanting her to be embarrassed, it was obvious she had no qualms about nudity. Or at least, it seemed she had no qualms. He was going to have to just suck it up and get dressed whether his brain was sending him warnings or not. "I have to retain some sense of dignity. I don't often eat well or sleep well, the least I can do is work out every once in a while."

"But not every day…"

"Hm?" he slipped his leg through one pant hole "No. I don't have time to keep up with it actively."

"Good. I wouldn't want to think of you as an obsessive exerciser. It ruins the image."

Hatori paused slightly. Lifting his brow, he focused on buttoning his pants and grabbing his shirt. "What image are we talking about exactly?"

She stood. "The one I have of you. I like it as it is."

"And what is that?"

Hm. What _was_ that image?

The Hatori she had come to know, that her heart had come to fall for, was kind, caring, calculating and often very wary of others. He distanced himself not for his own sake, but for the sake of others. While he came off very cold and aloof in the beginning, he was nothing of the sort. He was a man who hurt, who doubted and who despaired.

"A man." She answered. His confused look, and the lack of attention he was paying to his shirt, prompted her to continue. Saki walked over to him and began to unbutton his shirt that he had messed up. "The image is of a man, Ha-san. A human. And as a human, you have desires, needs, wants and feelings. Ha-san gets angry, Ha-san gets hurt, Ha-san gets jealous and I suspect…Ha-san gets happy as well." Her fingers moved deftly across his taut skin as she started to re-button the shirt correctly. "Ha-san…has many emotions that are trying to break free, but there is a tight lock on them. A lock resulting from your condition…and your love for that woman…"

His eyes narrowed. "That's not something we need to discuss."

Her heart cramped, but Saki easily got over it. She already knew the consequences of her actions; knew the path her heart chose to take was a painful one. This was decided from the start and she had no regrets. "You're absolutely correct. We _don't_ need to discuss it nor do I want to. I'd rather not know about that woman."

Now he was curious. He would have thought for the life of him that Saki would try to pry to know who Kana was and what she did. The way she had looked at the photo led him to that kind of suggestion. "Why?"

"Because I can't compare." Her voice saddened though her expression remained the same.

She couldn't take a photo at face value. No one could. But in the photo of that woman, though devoid and seemingly missing a gap, Saki could tell that she was a kind-hearted, eccentric and carefree woman. If that was Hatori's ideal type: Saki would never come close.

"You don't need to compare to anyone, Saki." He patted her shoulder "You're fine just the way you are."

She couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not, but her heart was getting more exercise than ever before. It cramped once and then it must have flipped twice. It was hard to tell besides the breath that had been sucked out of her. With that pat on the shoulder, he might as well have just punched her in the face. "Fine is never good enough, Ha-san."

Her hand lingered on his chest a moment longer as she had finished buttoning his shirt. Was it sad that she wanted to hold on to a man who would never return her feelings? Was it pathetic?

"Perhaps, one day, I'll tell you about her. But that day isn't today."

She nodded. "And perhaps, one day, I'll tell you something too…but that day isn't today either."

XXXX

In a perfect world, full of perfect people with perfect lives, everything was…well…perfect. The days were never too cold or too hot. The people were always friendly. And everything was always where you thought it would be. But reality wasn't perfect. In reality: the day was_ always_ too hot or too cold, people were _rarely_ friendly, and nothing was ever where you thought it might be.

Like bandages. Bandages were supposed to be easily accessible in a medical office, right? One would think so. But this was reality. And reality said bandages didn't belong in medical facilities when someone needed them. So they didn't.

Saki watched as Hatori continued to fret around the office looking for the supplies he claimed was 'around somewhere'. After his initial transformation, he hadn't touched upon the subject again. She supposed it was a sort of 'taboo' within his family, though that was another question altogether. Did the rest of the family transform like he did? And if they did, were they a family of sea-horses?

"Over there." Saki spoke up, pointing to a drawer in one of the cabinets.

Hatori stopped his frantic search and pulled the door open. In the cabinet was nothing more than peroxide, cotton balls and Popsicle sticks. His eyes narrowed. "And what were you hoping to gain by misleading me?"

"Peroxide and cotton balls are hardly misleading."

He supposed she had a point. It was aggravating in the least to not find what he had come there for in the first place though. If he had known the trip would be this fruitless, he would have offered to immediately take her back to his condo. Keeping Saki out and exposed made him feel as though he, himself, were walking naked amongst the crowd. Though to say he hadn't been would be a lie. Just how much of his body did that girl see?

Hatori took the equipment in his hand.

He wasn't really quite sure of his position with the child anymore. She was open and honest where it didn't concern him. And while he felt fairly uncomfortable with her before, his walls were lowering with his form having been revealed. Shouldn't it have been the opposite? Raise the hackles when a secret's discovered? Not lower them? His head was confused, for sure, but how was he supposed to change its direction? Saki was starting to fill his brain so much it could no longer think straight.

I mean, why didn't_ I_ think of peroxide and cotton balls? I _am_ the doctor here…aren't I?

Grabbing the tools of the trade, Hatori closed the cabinet door and headed over to Saki. He paused to look up at her.

Her eyes, full of violet interest, focused on him easily enough. She didn't have a problem looking at a person and then instantly turning away. Saki always stared dead ahead, whether someone was watching or not.

"Salt or tap?"

"Pardon?"

Saki winced at the quick sting on her hand. "I didn't dip you in water, but if I had, which would a seahorse prefer?"

"Salt." He paused. "But I prefer neither. Both consist of drying off when I change back, if that makes sense."

"No...but as of right now: this entire situation doesn't make much sense to me." She smiled "Do you breathe normally as a seahorse or was my indecision causing you to asphyxiate?"

He thought about the question for a moment. Granted, he didn't change often or, at least, didn't try to make a habit of doing so, but Hatori also put himself in many over-taxing and stressful situations which tended to lend a hand to the transformation. To transform though and to think about how it was when in such a state were two different things. He never actually stopped and took the time to think how it was when he was a seahorse or why he didn't feel the need for water. Only now that Saki had presented him with a question, did he stall to think. "Nothing changes except my appearance. I still breathe normally and since it's a small period of time, I don't need to eat, sleep or bathe. I've never tried talking in that form, but it might be stranger if I had."

Saki's brow drove together in contemplation. So she hadn't needed to kiss him. Unfortunate, but it was a detail she could deal without. Though secretly having hoped it was the key to changing him back, if only for the sake of having an excuse to kiss him, Saki figured there wouldn't be too much transforming anyway. He avoided people easily enough; it was only her denpa-induced fatigue that caught him off guard. He could have let her hit the floor; she'd done so many times before and it didn't seem to be damaging her more than she already was. She smiled. He'd probably let her fall the next time.

"The Seahorse Prince doesn't change with a kiss…what about throwing you against a wall?"

"That only serves to do what one would presume it would do: give me a concussion and send you to a hospital after I've regained consciousness."

Saki ran a finger across her chin. "No prince then, hunh? I suppose a doctor is close enough to being a prince in this day and age. I can manage."

"You're too young to be settling now." He adjusted the cap on the bottle "And I'm entirely too old. Once you get back to school, you'll forget you ever met me."

Highly doubtful. He must have been dancing with foolish expectation to come up with a lie that thick. Hatori wanted her to go back to school and forget about him. Too bad for him she wasn't some frivolous teenager that fell head over heels for a guy at the drop of a hat. The fact that she acknowledged Hatori as attractive in the first place was odd enough. She was fairly sure he was the only one she would ever have eyes for now.

"O Ha-san…you've ruined me."

* * *

A/N: In response to a review: I have submitted a drawing (in my strange style) of Hatori and Saki in Halloween costumes; Hatori looking fly in his seahorse costume while Hana embraces her inner flower. You can check it out here: (just copy, paste and delete the spaces in the browser)

http: / /ndisoftheking. deviantart. com/#/d3972v6

On other notes: I don't know if Hatori ever spoke in his form in the manga, but I never saw evidence that he could in the anime so I decided to leave it that way. Thought it suited him more if he didn't. I just boiled it down to: some can speak in their form, others can't or choose not to. I hope you review, any flames will be used to warm these tired, aching feet.


	15. Even Flowers Die

Even Flowers Die (if they get stepped on too much)

In the time Saki had come to know Hatori, she'd learned that: he was stern, calculating, precise and distant. But he was also kind, honest and painfully brutal on the image he had made for himself.

Her own brutality lay in the form of nit-picking his own imagery and forcing a new one to form within his mind. But if that could be considered brutal then the same brutality existed in the form of her conversations. While they often had points; they were hidden at best. And the only pleasure she gained from the quirky statements were the confused (slightly bemused) expressions Hatori wore while reluctantly listening.

After all, he was the one her conversations had continued to center on. Which was why he was not concerned when the chat began with a crude, obtuse and poorly thought out question.

"You're a hippo?"

Hatori didn't even bother glancing her way. It was no surprise she was dripping with questions from his transformation, but he didn't expect her to be so interested in the species rather than the circumstances.

Shame that. She couldn't even seem to nail the correct name. She'd only been researching 'hippopotamus' ever since they got back to the condo. And that was respectfully almost an hour ago.

"A seahorse does not constitute the same properties as a hippopotamus. And furthermore, they are known as genus hippo_campus_."

But in the ears that seemed to be blocked with a sound-proof cheese, Saki seemingly didn't hear and Hatori went on minding his business in the kitchen as he had normally planned.

In the midst of the fruits of his labor, he remembered having left the condo in its neat, freakishly clean state. So why there was a can of empty energy drink on his counter-top was escaping him; until he briefly glanced at Saki and remembered just whom he had taken residence up with. Fingering the canister, he picked up the tin and nearly blanched at it.

The taste was absolutely horrifying and it could easily be argued that the after-taste was slightly worse. For all the hype he had heard of this energy drink working, he figured it was hardly worth it to take it up to corporate. Eventually, if he worked at getting rid of such a horrendous beverage, they would find another way to make another product that worked the same way.

Opening a bottom cabinet drawer, he pulled out the slide-away trash bins and disposed of the garbage in the proper recycle bin, neatly. He then promptly closed the drawer and washed his hands in the sink. When he looked back up to grab a dish rag (never a paper towel, those were so wasteful), he noticed Saki's eyes were no longer focused on the computer screen, but rather on him.

After admitting to himself that the gaze was an, quite expectantly, uncomfortable one, he shrugged at her and followed with "If there's something you want to ask, you may as well do so."

Slowly, and a bit eerily, Saki shut the laptop screen down with a gentle click. She then removed said object from her lap and placed it on the coffee table before her. Her feet, only baring socks as it was impolite to wear ones shoes in a house, stood and crossed the cold floor in a matter of seconds.

He was getting fairly used to Saki's antics, but he wasn't used to moving as fast as she. It seemed within a few days she was able to decide what she wanted, from whom she wanted it from and why. They didn't know each other very long, yet Saki was willing to make such bold moves with Hatori. He was accustomed to slow, time-consuming relationships, even for friends. Not going from 'I barely know you' to 'I'm attracted to you' within a matter of days. In time she'd become more unorthodox. It seemed the walls she had in place before their separation period had been easy enough to knock down. He knew it was because she lent it to herself in such a way that she pacified her own walls in attempts to pacify his, but Hatori was determined, stubborn, and the walls of his had been nursed for a long time. The task she was attempting was no easy feat.

Within a few hours: she had forgiven him, within a few minutes: she had touched him again and within a few seconds: she had accepted the part of him, _he_ had never learned to accept. Her influences were admirable, but he still couldn't bring himself to try helping her help him.

Saki's feet smacked lightly against the floor. He imagined those socks didn't have very good traction, judging by the way she was keeping balance. If one didn't look close enough, there was no sign she was trying hard. Hatori, though, always looked close enough. Being a doctor, he was trained in seeing things that weren't so obvious to others. To say he was more aware than Saki though would be a profound lie.

"Ha-san…"

He backed away from the counter, creating more distance between as she spoke "Yes?"

"A hippo is only semi-aquatic, but if that is true then this logic doesn't lend itself to your form." She dead-panned.

Here, he was actually worried that she was going to start shooting 20/20 questions at him, looking for his background story, his family and the zodiac curse. And yet he was proven wrong with possibly the worst stated conclusion man could ever invent. He chuckled. "I told you a seahorse is known as a genus hippocampus. Not a hippopotamus."

"Did you know that even though they rest near one another in the water, they graze alone?"

"Interesting." He said flatly.

"It is. Strange that you weren't a hippopotamus rather than a seahorse: the seahorse bit just doesn't suit you."

Ah, now he understood why she used the cleverly fogged metaphor. "I'm not taking the bait."

"You just did." She smiled. "Ha-san even though you are surrounded by those that love and care for you, you tend to carry problems on your shoulders by yourself…that's what most call a masochist."

He scoffed. "And you're any better?"

"I never said I was, but I'll admit: I'm a bit more selfish than you. I'd rather push my problems onto others rather than burden myself. I also tend to blame others first before even taking a look at the monster inside my own personality." She paused "But I've had someone there to tell me when I'm in the wrong."

"Tohru?"

Saki slightly smiled. "One would think, but no. He's more level-headed than Tohru."

Hatori felt a slight flare of jealousy upon learning it was a 'he' that helped her cope with past crises, but there was no way he couldn't stamp out a flame so small. Inadvertently making Saki grin, he changed the subject. "What are you planning to do about school? You know as well as I that I can't force you to do anything you don't want to, but that doesn't mean that I accept your absence. A doctor can only cover you for so many days."

"Which is why I am prepared to weather the storm tomorrow; since today is already shot, I figured it's easier to start fresh."

He paused and nodded. He wasn't expecting such compliance with the subject of school, seeing as she had avoided it for this long. Still he supposed Saki knew the consequences of such actions if she stayed away any longer. If they found she had been with him the whole time, there was a possibility that charges could be pressed on him for kidnapping. Regardless that he was a well-respected doctor.

"That's…very mature of you." He stated slowly, unsure of what else to say in light of this information.

"Are you picking me up tomorrow or do I have to drag myself to your condo and beat down the door?"

"Walk with Tohru to Shigure's. I'll pick you up from there. It might seem suspicious if I pick you up directly in front of the school."

"Right. A pedophile isn't exactly looked upon greatly in society."

Hatori gazed at her in silence, his olive eyes never releasing her from their wary depths.

She knew such a subject was touchy in his mind. He considered everything he felt or did around her as immoral or inappropriate, but this was only because of the morals that society forced upon people. An older man going after a child who was almost just barely legal…it was thought of as pedophilia. No one ever considered that both man and child actually harbored true feelings for one another.

They placed boundaries on love, producing excuses that the only reason someone that age would want a child to love is because of their youth, and the only reason someone that young would want someone that old is because of their maturity. But then they wanted to turn around and say no one could place boundaries on a feeling as powerful as love.

Hypocrites were very influential in such a single-minded world.

"I was joking."

"It wasn't funny."

"So I'm aware." She side-stepped in to the kitchen and took notice of how he blatantly moved away from her. "I'm not a child, Hatori."

"You're seventeen. That's not even legal, Saki."

Her eyebrows arched. "Not legal for _what_, exactly?"

"I don't know…" He whispered "...for everything."

"You _do_ know." She stated, closing the distance between them and taking up space near his chest as he attempted to further away. She was glad to know that the refrigerator was, of sorts, acting as her bouncer keeping him in place. Refrigerators were club-worthy bouncers. "Answer the question, Hatori."

"Saki, don't push me."

"It's the one thing I'm good at, Ha-san." She reasoned, placing her hand on his shoulder, allowing the electric current to rush heatedly behind her touch and through him if half of what she expected he felt, he actually felt.

Unknowingly to her, he _did_ feel it; possibly even more than she did because denial made the connection stronger while she had learned to accept the waves between them. Still he couldn't bring himself to understand why he felt it. It was easier to place the blame on her denpa, but he had a feeling it was both of their abilities resonating with each other.

"Stop avoiding me." She said, slight anger present within her voice. He wasn't going to run away again. She had enough of his cowardice; a cowardice that seemed to stem from the love he built long ago and nursed with a woman that was never meant to be his in the first place.

"You don't understand."

"Then _make_ me understand, Ha-san."

His hand, so large and strong compared to her own, suddenly whipped behind her back and pressed her body against his, consuming her in his whirlwind of emotion. Saki's eyes widened at the surprise attack before her face was smothered against his and all she saw were flashes of light as he kissed her hard and commandingly. His desires, now evident in their proposal, had her spinning backwards, his hand at the small of her back holding her in place, keeping her from falling.

Madness had taken over this kiss. No longer was it soft and waning like the first, but instead harsh and demanding. He was literally pouring his emotions in to her. It warmed her to know he was listening, no longer avoiding, and it stopped her cold to feel as though something inside him were lifting. Like a crack in the wall, his defenses were opening; the dam was breaking.

And then it broke. All at once the passion dissolved in to pain.

Her denpa was assaulted by his emotions, his senses, his memories. It felt as though a cold wall of rushing water came hurtling towards her in the form of bricks. And in them she felt as though she were gasping for air, but merely inhaling water. She was drowning in his thoughts, devoured ruthlessly by all the memories, all the suppression, all the residual animosity left behind.

Her fingers were clawing at his chest, pushing away as she tried to find air, but now that she had provoked something deep and dark within him, Hatori was having none of her resistance. She found retribution in creating a blood mark across his cheek, desperately tearing at his skin to catch a quick breath, to catch her balance, to catch anything except for the struggle to keep her sanity.

It wasn't like the feelings in the office; those were overwhelming in a hateful sense. Saki had never dealt with such hate before and that anger sapped her of her energy, leaving her useless after the denpa departed. But her strength was easily regained because the emotions filtered through a piece of paper; a piece of paper that described an individual and had that individual's touch all over it. Nonetheless, a piece of paper is nothing like a human being.

Touching a human being with denpa was like touching an electrical wire. The shock was dealt with raw power; there was nothing to block it unless that person had purposefully blocked it.

Obviously, Hatori was no longer blocking it.

Tears broke free of their cage and stained her cheeks as she came to an understanding that she wanted no part of.

Why did she always have to put her head in the lion's mouth and expect to come out unscathed?

Finally released from the prison that was his arms, his lips, his embrace, Saki stumbled to the ground in a panic, fighting to breathe the air she felt was ripped from her, but even as she gasped in life's oxygen, she found all she could taste was the salt of ocean water as it engulfed her and drowned her in a screaming voice that was eerily silent.

XXXX

When she awoke again, she was in Hatori's bedroom, aware that there was a damp cloth on her forehead and that Hatori was sitting next to her form. His breathing was uneven, strained and shaky. She opened her eyes and gazed at his back. It wasn't erect, like how he normally sat, but rather hunched over. His elbow was within her sight, but she imagined he was covering his face with his hand.

Daintily fingering the cloth, Saki tossed it aside. She sighed and sat up.

Hatori whipped around, concern etched in his face, guilt engraved in his eyes. "Are you-?"

"Fine. _I_ should apologize." She paused. "I should have never forced anything upon you."

Hatori felt oddly worried by her monotone voice, her seeming detachment to the prior events. He unleashed all that she had asked him to, but even he, himself, was unsure of all the feelings he harbored, buried so deep they were, that he forgot what most meant in his haze.

"Saki, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that, regardless of your provocations."

She raised her finger to his lips and smiled, kissing him briefly on the cheek. "It's okay. I forgive you." She whispered and walked out of the room, feet padding softly down the hall.

Hatori touched his cheek as he felt a slight cool air brushing against it because it was wet now. Fingering the tear that was not his, he cringed and fisted his hands in his lap.

Yes, she forgives him. That much he could take simple solace in. He knew Saki was a woman of her word. But as she said those words to him, he could hear the devastation, the regret in her voice.

Perhaps it was _easier_ to forgive _him_.

Because somehow, he knew she wouldn't forgive herself for a long time to come.

XXXX

Saki rounded the corner with an air that was stiller than the glass in the condo. The beating of her heart, jumped like a rabbit's in contrast to her frozen body. And then another tear slipped past her defenses as she walked to one of the larger windows, showing the town as it were at night; shadows cascading here and there, concealing secrets beneath them.

Much like Hatori's heart concealed secrets.

Saki pressed the side of her face against the cold glass.

She would never be so frivolous as to say: she was wrong to love him; because she wasn't. Her feelings would not sway. But now she was aware of the extended depths of his pain and suffering. She was aware of the love he possessed. She was aware as to whom that love belonged to.

And it wasn't her. No. It wasn't her, at all.

Saki watched listlessly as a few lights across town flickered off. She remembered seeing the lights go off in one eye as Akito slammed something sharp, something very painful against her eye…well…_Hatori's_ eye. She relived the memories he had decidedly tried to confine within his own mind as he had concealed others. She saw the woman he loved crying. Saw the sorrow consuming her, leading her down a path to death's door. She saw Hatori administer the memory removal. Saw him sobbing when she left.

And she came to one conclusion: Hatori was still very much in love with Kana.

She was the first to accept him the way he was. The first to love him unconditionally. She was also the first to leave him.

Briefly Saki wondered if the reason he had continued helping her, more or less, without complaint was because of the similarity in their names.

Hana. Kana. He must have known there wasn't too far of a stretch. A man as in love with a woman like that would be stupid _not_ to realize it. In fact, she was sure Hatori had been trying to compare her all along. Maybe find a reason as to why he was keeping her with him. Maybe find a trace of Kana…within Hana?

Saki ground her teeth and wiped her tears with a rough swipe from her arm. She finally understood why he never even tried calling her 'Hana'. Naively, she had thought there was a special reason as to why he only called her by her first name. But it was nothing of the sort. Kana filled too much of his head still; too much of his heart.

A cold hand touched her shoulder and made her whip around. Saki almost expected Akito to be standing there with a glass shard in his hand, readying himself for a blow to her eye. But it wasn't him; as it shouldn't have been.

Hatori was standing next to her, a remorseful look still gracing his features.

The corner of her lip twitched in to a smirk for a terse second before she wrapped her hand in his. "Really. I thought I told you not to apologize."

"I didn't."

"You're entire body radiates penitence." She looked down and whilst counting the ripples in her dress, began formulating a plan. "Give me your cell phone and we'll call it even."

His eyebrow quirked momentarily, but he knew better than to question Saki's ideas and methods. He was getting soft to her plots and schemes, even when he knew better to trust his instinct. Perhaps the separation tomorrow would be best for both of them. Maybe while she gained some sensibility from her peers, he could gain his motivation to question her back. But for now, and after what he just put her through, Hatori slipped his hand inside his pocket and handed her the cell-phone.

All he decided to question was "What do you need it for?"

"I'd just like to call my brother. Let him know I'm okay and that I'll be seeing him tomorrow." She paused "Unless you have any objections to that?"

Hatori shook his head. No, no. This was a good thing. Saki was finally starting to reach out to her family again which meant she would be reaching back out to her friends as well. If he had to slowly introduce her back in to her usual routine, taking things slowly and not forcing her were probably two of the best ways. For now he didn't mind just sitting back and watching. "No objections. I'm glad you've decided to contact your family."

"Mmm-hmm." was all she replied as she took the phone in her hand and began scrolling through it.

Hatori simply let her be and headed back to the room. He didn't want to seem like he was intruding on her conversation with her brother. It was rude to be eavesdropping, though he was vaguely sure she wouldn't have a problem dropping in on _his_ conversations.

It wasn't long before he heard her soft voice filtering in to his room. And though the condo seemed to lack thick walls between his room and the living area, he couldn't discern any of her words. All he could keep thinking was that her voice sounded gentle, if not a little shaky, while he started feeling sleepy.

The next thing he knew, he was drifting in and out of sleep, slightly wondering why she asked to use his cell-phone.

She could have used the cordless one sitting right next to the couch.


	16. Left My Heart

Left My Heart (in a plastic box)

Conversation only held so much interest; for Saki _or_ Hatori. It was a wonder they had done so much in the past few days. But on this particular day, when Saki was sent back to school, both must have thought it as a solemn occasion and had decided silence was a better tribute.

Saki, herself, just didn't want to entertain the effort that came with talking. It implored thinking, speaking, and then coming back with a fit reply. And, quite frankly, her thoughts were already expanded to bursting with thoughts of anticipation, anxiety and doubt. It wasn't that she was a person to dwell on angry teachers and tons of homework. In fact, she hadn't even thought of that until previously. It wasn't even the stares she would receive upon coming back. For her thoughts centered specifically around two individuals: Tohru Honda and Arisa Uotani.

She cringed just thinking about them. Two people that meant the world to her and she was terrified to face them. After their episode in the graveyard (no less leading to her incapacity) there was no surprise as to why she was afraid. When she left Tohru to her own devices, Arisa had abandoned her out of anger. To top it all off, Saki hadn't even tried to contact either one of them even once.

The whole charade was a mess. And that mess made for a completely different mess in the car. The entire ride there was a fight with her mentality. She debated on whether to prepare for a letdown or just wait to see how things panned out. And when she finally resolved on preparing, the mental image of a fallout left a bitter taste in her mouth; one she wasn't fond of repeating. Still, she jack-hammered their false abrasive anger in her head over and over until she felt she was numb enough to take the abuse.

But she wasn't numb. The ache in her heart was definite as she peered out the window and in to the cold early morning surrounding of the immediate area that was her school.

"I'll pick you up at Shigure's, hopefully somewhere around seven. I'll call the house if I'm running late."

Saki only nodded, thinking about the possibilities she would face if all went downhill with Tohru. There was no way she would be at Shigure's house when Tohru didn't want her there. Perhaps she could walk back to Hatori's? Then again, she never paid much mind on the car ride to and from places, there was no way she'd follow the correct path back. Not to mention take the correct train if she decided to travel differently. She could go home. Saki knew how to get back home. Hatori would be able to find her there, right? And even if he couldn't…why should she care? It wasn't as though he wanted her company. He just wanted to keep his families secret…well…secret. And, really, could she blame him for that?

"Shigure…does he transform in to a sea-horse as well? After all, he is a Sohma, yes?"

Hatori thought it unwise to spill more about their secret, but he thought it even less wise to lie to Saki. One way or another she would find out and he had a sneaking suspicion she would do anything to appease her curious habits; even if that meant hugging Shigure.

He shivered to think her embracing that depraved dog.

"Not all Sohma's represent the curse. However, Shigure _is _one like myself. He transforms in to a dog. Much like Yuki transforms in to a rat and Kyo a cat. It goes without saying that if you hug any of them, you expose not only them, but yourself as well." Hatori paused, taking a deep sigh. "Shigure is as loyal as a dog and would have no qualms about taking our little escapade up to higher hands."

"You mean: to Akito."

"Yes."

She mused "To think a mere child holds the will of not only children, but adults as well. Seems like a dangerous, if not stupid, game."

Hatori briefly waved a hand in front of his own face. At the sight of his limited vision he said "I wish it _were _just a game."

With a despondent look out the window, Saki clutched her cloak together. The car would not retain any heat if he kept icy thoughts at the forefront of his life. "It sounds like one; one where the spoiled child has cheated and gotten one too many turns. Don't you think it's time you stood up for yourself and took your turn?"

"It's not that simple. But I cannot explain it either. All I can say is: anyone outside of the curse would not understand."

"Hn. A contradiction would care to fight that. You see, Ha-san, everyone has their own 'curse' in a manner of speaking. An ordeal, if you will, that an outsider wouldn't understand. But if everyone has one, just differently, then can't we all have a bit of understanding of what others are going through?" She paused "The only reason we don't understand…is because we face the world with our eyes half open; seeing only what we 'want' to see. Not what we 'should' be seeing."

"Even if there _were_ such a person who could 'see'…it changes nothing."

"Lie. You've witnessed the change first-hand. Tohru has opened many eyes within your family. Both Kyo and Yuki smile more often. If you haven't seen that: you may want to get your eyes checked. Contacts are all the rage this year, or so I've heard."

Hatori put his head against his hand on the steering wheel. She was right, after all. Tohru hadn't only changed Yuki and Kyo. Hatori felt the changes within his own personality ebb and flow until finally he was able to let go of previous tension. There weren't many people in the world that he knew could do that. And yet he had the chance to meet two. Should he consider himself lucky?

"Tohru isn't the only one..." He stated, looking up from his perch, daring to say something bold. To finally step away from his comfort zone and prove to her what he hadn't been sure he was capable of all along: acceptance.

With a final step over the threshold of his limits, Hatori tore his gaze from the steering wheel to Saki…except…Saki was no longer there. He noted the dark purple cape wrapped tightly around small shoulders, in the distance, as they wrenched open the school building doors and disappeared within.

With a swift plume of regret blossoming in his chest, Hatori thumped his head non-too-gently against the head-rest. Would fate always curse his chances and tarnish his will? Were his walls too heavily built to break? Or was he just a dog whimpering with his tail between his legs because he let fear rule his options?

Hatori went to start the car when he realized his engine was still running. He never turned the car off; he had simply parked and waited. He glanced briefly at the a/c, confused that it was on. Because, here, he distinctly remembered having had turned the heat on, but the inside of the car was freezing due to the a/c.

Shaking his head, Hatori turned the dial off, put the car in drive and took off.

Somehow he felt Saki had purposely taken all her warmth with her, discretely turned on the a/c and left him to sit in the cold; to let him see how it felt to be hit with such blasts of cold air when all she was trying to do was warm up the atmosphere; to warm up a man stuck in an igloo who had no intention of leaving his lonely spot on arctic ice.

XXX

Saki walked into the classroom and braced herself on a wooden desk lining the windows. Her body felt both heavy and light, hot and cold; a strange sensation that any amount of words could not justify. Her hands, covered by gloves as they could not find any means of gauze or bandages, stroked the top of the desks lightly, her mind imagining the feel as her nerve endings could not provide through the silky fabric. The most that she could conceive were the deep indents and few scratches from years of wear and tear. Fingers dangling, moving gracefully with her body as she walked, passing each desk with the stroke of her hand, leaving them with a distant goodbye and bringing her presence to the next in line. She did this, departing and greeting until Saki finally found her hand stroking familiar wood.

My desk, she thought impassively.

To her, it seemed as though only a couple of days had gone by. But standing there before her desk, covered in a fine layer of dust, the full weight of how long she'd been away hit her. How many days had Hatori said she'd been comatose? Four? The few days she had been cognizant were more or less a blur of soggy events draped in irregular, if not alien, feelings. She'd never experienced affection so quickly or strongly towards any person besides her brother. Not to mention how fast she developed them. Was that how normal people worked? Or was it just another thing to add to the growing 'odd' list that was Hanajima, Saki?

She figured that was probably it, no reason to dwell on facts that she couldn't, _or wouldn't_, change. Besides, seeing a man transform in to a seahorse right before her eyes was much more confusing than the feelings she was experiencing.

An isolated boom echoed from the hallway, causing her to turn and look at the door in an immediate haste.

She was aware there were few people in the building this early in the morning; aware that those few people consisted of more staff than student; nonetheless it did nothing to ease her nerves on overdrive. The loneliness…it was a double-edged sword. While she enjoyed the peace and quiet, fear easily crept in on her that she would remain in this solitary confinement. Her mind told her the silence was welcoming, safe even, but her heart was aching; yearning to reach out to another for warmth, for help. To gain something great, you often had to risk something of equal value. Saki wasn't sure she was willing to put herself on the line like that.

Another boom.

Saki whipped around, staggering slightly as she watched an unfamiliar face pass by the classroom.

Her breathing stopped for a brief second until the teacher was out of sight. Averting her gaze to the chalkboard and then back to the desk, Saki sighed. She thought she was better. She thought that since Tohru had come in to her life that trusting others started coming to her easier; that holding on to that trust was easier. But it was just as difficult as it used to be when she was a child.

As a child: she'd learned that cruel children grew in to cruel adults and that friendships never lasted. She'd learned to hide her heart away; to shove it in a plastic box, lock it up and throw away the key. And she'd learned as hard as it was to build a relationship up, it was so very easy to knock it down.

Husband and Wife, sister and brother, best friend and confidant; any relation was not easy to maintain. Whether in the family or out of, the trials would have to be faced and many bonds would break.

The question was: would _her_ bonds break?

Would Arisa shun her? Would Tohru? With reasonable doubt, Saki couldn't be sure. Because hearts tend to change and feelings often waver. Sometimes a simple ripple in the shoreline could unearth the devastation of something more impending.

Closing her eyes, she walked around her desk and slid into the seat. She would wait. For as long as it may take Tohru and Arisa to arrive, she would wait. Staring vacantly at the desk in front, Saki would remain frozen, waiting for _someone_ to open the box that held her heart.


	17. Small Reunions

Small Reunions (big problems)

Light poked in through the glass surrounding the side of the classroom. Saki involuntarily squinted at the source, blinking rapidly as she realized she had fallen in to an open-eyed sleep. Gloved hands reached up to rub her aching eyes, the silk fabric doing nothing to quell the itch of slumber. The nap couldn't have done much to help her position, but it still surprised her that her body managed to fall in to such a state so typically. Normally she remains more aware than any of those near her.

Purple irises glimpsed at her dark gloves in their fog to adapt to the morning sunlight. She surmised her wounds may still have something to do with her sleeping problems, not that she didn't have any beforehand, but they could be the reason why she was unable to deal with it as easily as previously.

"Well what do you know? It _is her!_" a familiar voice spoke very close to her ear.

Saki blinked even faster for the adjustment of her eyesight to kick in, spinning her head in the direction of the voice. Now that the back of her head faced the sun, she was able to gain more progress with her sight and view the scene before her.

There still weren't very many people crowding the classrooms, but there was certainly more than there were an hour ago. Her eyes widened at the easily recognizable people standing around her desk. Kyo, the orange-haired boy, was standing next to an equally bewilder Arisa Uotani, the latter's hands crossed over her chest. Kyo crooked his head slightly sideways as he gazed at Saki and waited for a response. When none came, he sneered. "You sure? She seems like she doesn't recognize any of us? HELLO IN THERE!" he paused "See? Nothing."

"Is it really her, Uo-chan?" Tohru's voice floated from somewhere near the entry ways as if she had just been able to catch up to them after hearing the exclamatory proclamation.

Arisa sidestepped, her hand gratuitously leading the way. "Take a look for yourself. It's her, but…I think carrot-top's right. She doesn't look like she's recognizing anything."

"She probably voided all of the memories consisting of you, ya damn yankee." Kyo growled, his temper flaring at the name calling. Uo only snickered, her mouth about to fire off another insult when Yuki stepped in.

"If you're going to kill the cat, please, do it somewhere else." Yuki sighed, his head jutting in the direction of Tohru and Saki. "This isn't the place or time."

"Hmph." Kyo mumbled, glancing at Arisa with narrowed eyes, hers all the same.

"He's right." She sighed and nodded "I kill you somewhere else later."

Tohru gaped, her eyes wide and doe-like in their appearance whilst Saki only responded with her scheduled blinking.

It was…_confusing_ more than anything else. Saki couldn't seem to catch up with reality and the fact that Tohru was, indeed, standing right before her. Her mind, still in sleep-mode, was foggy at best; the images her eyes were receiving seemed a bit fuzzy if not dream-like in its own right. She was sure that if she pinched herself, though she had no intention of inflicting any sort of pain on her own body, she would wake with a jolt and see that the classroom she was in: remained empty; devoid of any human warmth that these beings offered.

Saki readjusted her hand to reach towards Tohru, touching was as real as one could get when it came to sensations. That applied double in Saki's case, for: if the 'Tohru' she was staring at was nothing more than a dream: her denpa would know.

Her hand extended forward, Tohru's big brown eyes ignoring the ascent, too covered in water were they slowly becoming. Saki paused, her eyes catching sight of purple. The gloves. Her hands were still covered in the silken gloves because of her healing scars. She surmised the fabric would act as a blockade and that the feelings, the signals, would not flow through her as customary. Her denpa would be unable to alert her and her 'reality' would be as useless as the hand wavering in front of her.

The hand staggered backward as she pulled away, afraid of contact now; afraid that the dream was simply that: a dream; a fancy hallucination which her longing mind pulled off in the wake of her slumber. Let the dream last, she thought solemnly, and wake up to face the result.

After all, dreams always had a sense of being more impressive than what veracity could grant. Perhaps she would find that dream-Tohru turns in to a sea-horse as well?

Small and soft, an infinitesimal cry escaped Tohru's mouth as she launched forward, her arms tossed to the sides before finding their solace wrapped around Saki's frame. Tears flowed freely from her eyes at the contact, the girl weeping on her lost friends shoulder, soaking the fabric and layering the skin. The sobs were soft and lingering at first, but as they slowed to a lesser pace, Tohru lifted her head, chuckled at herself and smiled at Saki.

"I'm sorry. I soaked your shirt." She sniffled

In just that second she squashed any doubts Saki harbored. Only Tohru would think of apologizing for a lightly sodden shirt from tears; especially at a moment that there were plenty more important issues to worry about. Saki smiled. At least she didn't turn in to a seahorse.

"Tohru…your nose is running." Saki dug a cloth from her bag and dabbed at the reddening nose.

"Ah!" Tohru blushed, a laugh escaping her lips as she allowed the doting. Her eyes matched her nose, turning red at the spur of tears. Saki figured Tohru must have been guilt-stricken with worry from her absence; making her sad to think she had caused most of that worry, if not all of it.

Saki somberly returned the soiled hanky to her bag and stood. Rounding the desk, she re-embraced Tohru. "I'm sorry."

Two words. It was all she had to say to make another torrent of rain spill on her shoulder.

XXXX

The afternoon at school had consisted of more apologies than Saki could count hearing in her entire lifetime. It warmed her and at the very same time: annoyed her. All of Tohru's innocent remarks and apologetic wavers sprung the sudden need to donate blood. When Saki was around Tohru she always felt like she should give her spine to a paraplegic and her eyes to the blind. It was both unnerving and refreshing.

Regardless she enjoyed her time being around Tohru. While still held down by mindless burdens, that she had created of her own accord, she felt a little lighter now that the air had lifted and the fog had been cleared. The road to apologies had been carved and now a new path had opened up.

Saki already asked Tohru, whom predictably did not refuse any such request, about accompanying her to Shigure's. And though the answer remained a 'yes', Tohru was heading to work after school. Rather, was on her way to work now. Saki would be walking home with Yuki and Kyo or, more appropriately, taking the train to her own house, visiting her brother and then picking Tohru up on the way back to Shigure's. The latter both looked and sounded like a better choice.

Setting her direction as she walked away from the school; Saki stepped forward. Her thoughts wandered from the state of Tohru's happiness to the solemn activity of her brother.

There was no doubt in her mind that Megumi was fine on his own, but she wanted to see him for herself. The need that clung to her like a sopping wet rag left her feeling uncomfortable and out of place amidst the clean state that was Hatori's condo. That very same need that kept her awake at night unless a body was near her. A need that slowly ate a person from the inside out, carving out a hollow inside to make room for the unnatural craving that left her eyes scarred deep with purple bags.

She had to see Megumi for that purpose. Because of that need, she wanted to see him, to hold him in her arms and tell herself that she had no use for a body near her to sleep; no use for a guard. Saki realized Megumi was at the age that friends became a more important factor in life. Family would always be important, but because of friends Megumi wouldn't always be around to comfort Saki in her hour of sleeplessness. Saki wouldn't always be around either; as neither would Hatori.

As for Tohru, she couldn't rely on dear Tohru for such a problem. Her friend already had enough troubles in her life. For Saki to ask anything of her would be nothing less than selfish. Still, there was always that voice in her head telling her to spill her thoughts to her friend; to give in to her very human, very female, weaknesses and lean on someone other than her brother for a change.

Sighing, Saki readjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and headed to the station.

If it seemed like there was one thing she was good at: it was going from one mess and in to another. Only this morning she was worried about Tohru and Arisa. Now after a rather uneventful apology she was diving right back in to her Hatori problem; a problem that existed in her heart rather than mind.

Perhaps Megumi would have some kind of advice to give her. Despite the few years younger that he was, Megumi always possessed a good head on his shoulders. One free of prejudices or any emotional attachments; he could always latch on to a situation and dish out the medicine whether it was harsh or not. That, by no means, meant he lacked feelings though. In fact, the love and adoration in his eyes often poured through more readable than Saki's. Perhaps because his mind had not been damaged by so much abuse; having a child the second time around with similar problems led to experienced parents with the tools to repair mistakes.

Bleak, ambiguous eyes caught on to a memory far off, slipping from the realm of reality and in to one of selfish lingering and foolish regret. Saki loved her parents; truly, dearly and comfortably. But she would never be completely honest and she would never express feelings she died to show; feelings like the ones that seemed to automatically surface when she was around Hatori.

Which led to the problem of his acceptance issues: would Hatori ever give her the chance to show him how she felt? Or will the phantom memory of Kana forever slake his heart?

Like the slow drip of an I.V. she felt her feelings slip in to her veins, the potent venomous I.V. drainage sending her in to a long inducing coma. Except this time, she wasn't sure she'd come out of it alive.


	18. Simple Nothings

Simple Nothings (made of something)

She was no stranger to coming home to a silent house. In fact, Saki would be prepared to worry if she heard any such noise coming from the familiar abode besides the more than normal house settling creaks and cracks. And while this _was_ only sound emanating from outside of the structure, she was positive the interior wouldn't reveal much difference.

Looking down at her feet, she observed the all-too commonly used 'welcome' mat at her mother's spring proposal. But by now the mat was dim, if not a little dirty from years of wear and tear from the trampling of shoes. Worn down much like the façade her mother wore.

Saki knocked once, knowing that Megumi would hear it indefinitely. He was quiet at best; he was quiet at worst. Megumi refrained from speaking unless spoken to or in the need of correcting with better advice. He was very smart, very civil and in many ways, while they were similar, he and Saki were nothing alike.

Metal scratching against metal alerted Saki to the locks being disengaged, the door popping open with a screech as Megumi poked a single eye through the crack. "I thought it was you." He said as he backed away from the door, giving her body wider birth to step inside.

She looked around, dimly noting that nothing had changed. For a second she felt that familiar sadness wrench at her features. Nothing was out of place. Everything was just the way she remembered it: neat, tidy and boring. You would think a lost child would throw a family upside down, the parents in to a dither, searching for any clue in _and_ out of the house. Clearly, her house revealed no signs of worry. She immediately wiped the frown from caressing her mouth, replacing it with her usual dormancy before Megumi could notice.

"They're not here." It wasn't a question.

Megumi raised a curious brow at his sister. "No. They left a few days ago to visit Grandma."

They would, she thought. Then, glancing at her brother with mild concern on his face, she dipped in to the kitchen, changing the subject as she went. "How have you been? Would you like me to make some snacks?"

Saki knew she hadn't needed to ask. Megumi was more than capable of taking care of himself. If it were anyone in their household that required any kind of help it would be her. He probably had already made himself something to eat, but if she knew him, he would never turn down her offer.

"Snacks…" he repeated with a slow nod. "I think I'd like that."

Shuffling around the kitchen, Saki began to prepare the bite-sized meals for the two, going through the motions as though it were nothing more than a mere blur; bringing the pot of water to a boil, fishing the odango balls, Megumi's favorite food, out of the fridge (as she knew they had some pre-made), and creating the sauce in a separate bowl. She was used to making the snacks. In a way, she favored it. It kept her busy and she never really minded the essence of preparing them; never really minded eating them either. The sounds, movements and smells all held a hand in relaxing her.

Without looking away, Saki grabbed a plate to place the snacks on.

She never heard Megumi leave the kitchen, but she knew he had. His mere presence held an air similar to hers. Equal in power, yet double in control; parallel in mystery, yet tripled in trust.

She smiled ruefully. Trust. The only person in the household that actually trusted her was Megumi. She loved him…but she hated this place. The house was already starting to suffocate her with memories of a washed up childhood, one where she was feared not only by other children, but her own parents as well. It seemed everywhere she looked or turned, she could only think of the absences her parents made. And it was making her head spin. Saki shook her head to wave off the dizziness, clutching the plate in her hand to gain some sense of grounding.

Brought back to reality, Saki winced as the plate cracked beneath the pressure her fingers exuded, the delicate china snapping in two. The sharp edges did nothing more than cut her gloves, though had she had nothing covering her fingers the result would have been much different. Silently she thanked Hatori for the gloves and cleaned up her mess. It seemed even preparing her brothers favorite snacks couldn't calm her nerves in the memory-filled house. She only had a mere taste of being away from there, yet it was apparent that a small taste just wasn't enough.

Glancing back to the water she had brought to a boil, her eyes widened with the realization of the snacks being done. Had she really spent that much time thinking of the past? Enough time for not only the water to boil, but for the odango balls to cook? Shaking her head, Saki turned off the stove, finished the sauce and then meticulously placed three odango balls on each wooden stick. Grabbing another piece of dishware and plating them, she poured the sauce delicately on top before heading to the living area where she heard faint noises emanating from.

Already there, Megumi sat in front of the table, engrossed in one of the many anime's his friends at school had recommended, quietly observing each colorful character and their many words. Quietly she joined him, sitting behind the table rather than next to him at the front, placing the plate in the middle for easy access on both accounts. Occasionally he reached back for a nibble, but other than that his eyes remained focused on the television, full of wonderful monotony and perhaps a bit of confusion at times.

She, on the other hand, watched distantly almost, only recognizing colors rather sounds; shapes rather than plots. Her mind focused somewhere far off, yet no where she could remember ever having been. It seemed her mind had conjured up its own valley of confusion, lost in an ever-drifting space that bore from reality, but only existed in fantasy. In the realm, she was alone, but safe. She was nothing, yet somehow something. She felt no pain, no sadness, but then she didn't feel any happiness either.

Her mind wandered on colder sides, her body adjusting to the temperature to become its own source of ice. Hours rolled by as she stared at the television, seeing and never paying attention to one thing as it flashed on the screen. The conflict of the anime ran through her ears, but its point never seemed to grip her. All she could manage to gain were shrill voices making less than taunting comments.

And then all of a sudden she heard static of the TV accompanied by the popping noise it made when clicked off. She turned her head to gaze at Megumi whom stared straight back at her.

It was over already? How long had she been staring at the screen? She was losing time fairly effortlessly today; losing herself even more, perhaps. It was quite disconcerting.

Saki glanced at the plate, half-empty of the contents that once graced its surface. If she were to guess, it would have to have been at least a good hour or two that they sat there, snacking and watching. Time was really beginning to pass her by.

"They _do_ love you, Saki." He started, staring through her "And they _were_ worried."

"Yes, they show it well." She bit out acrimoniously "After all the over-turned chairs I saw upon entering and learning that they had flown to Grandma's…their worry…strikes me."

He heard the cracking in her voice on her last words. She was trying to be more angry than sad, but it seemed years of ignorance were finally catching up with her. Saki was tired of playing off that everything was or would be alright. That somehow her parent's would fix the bigger problems that made up her life. They were kind enough, at least, to have picked up and moved, start a new life for their daughter's sake. But after the incident…they never touched her. The fear in their eyes shone brighter than any love they tried to falsely possess. And it became more evident since she started no longer denying it.

They said they loved her, but would refrain from giving her hugs; only patting her head and sending her off to school. Or when she seemed like she might be in a foul mood, they tip-toed around her, too careful were they to try to break the thin ice.

How could she possibly hate and love two people so much?

Saki looked around, anywhere but her brother's face. She didn't want to see the knowledge in his eyes, didn't want to know that _he knew_; didn't want to see that _he saw_; didn't want to hear that _he heard_.

Her parents feared her. And as much as she wanted to hate Megumi for it, but couldn't, she knew that her parents loved him; unconditionally and despite the uncommon mishaps that made him unique. Perhaps because he had learned to control his powers at a young age, had no problem making friends or blending in with society as Saki had, did they love him so easily; welcome him so lovingly. But she was still their child…how could they do this to her?

"I'm not excusing mom or dad from the mistakes they've made or will continue to make with you, Saki…but if you don't let them hear you out…you'll never get passed this wall. Mom and dad love you despite the fact that they don't _know _you."

"Perhaps if they cut back on the regular trips to see Grandma, they _would_." She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. "No, that's wrong…let them see her as often as they like."

"If you keep stopping yourself like that, they'll just find more excuses to leave."

Saki grimaced. "Yes well…seems like I'll finally have something in common with them…I'm…living with someone else now. I hope you'll tell them so that they'll be home more often to take care of you...like good parents should." Parents that I never had, she thought scooping up the plate to scuffle off towards the kitchen.

His eyes went wide and for once, Megumi looked the age he was. "You're leaving?"

Saki swiveled around at the shake in his voice. Did it really scare him that much? "Not leaving. But…not living here." She paused "If it's any consolation…you were the only reason I stayed."

Megumi smiled faintly. "…but I'm not around as often as I used to be, is that it?"

Placing the dish on the counter with a clack, Saki crossed the distance to her brother, kneeling on the floor in front of him to look up at his wide, purple eyes; the kind that revealed emotions in their murky depths, yet hid more secrets than most. Eyes just like hers. Or so she was told. She never thought so; his were so much kinder.

Her cold hands fluttered to his cheeks, caressing the jaw line as she gently forced him to look at her. "If you're going to be with friends and let go of me…I need to learn to let you go as well…it's not easy. Trust me."

He nodded and then hugged her. Tiny arms that weren't so tiny any more wrapped around her shoulders, the weak arms that she remembered hugging her replaced by strong ones that knew many things about being independent. The things that she would have to learn, Megumi had already known. She had a sneaking suspicion that: he always had.

"You'll visit." He decided, giving her no room for argument.

Saki found she didn't want to argue with the term. "Only when you're here."

"You'll make snacks."

"Like always."

"If I'm asleep, you'll wake me."

"I'll kick you."

"And…" He paused. "I'll miss you."

She found she had to fight back the urge to give in; to just succumb to the need that made her crave her brother as a guard, as a savior, and stay with him at home. But then she'd be walking backwards. All that effort gone to waste.

Biting her lip and the urge to cry, Saki gave him another hug, reminded of how much of a kid her brother still was. Sometimes, with how quiet he was, the advice he gave and the statements he made, she forgot that he was 13; forgot that he was still barely more than a child.

"Not as much as I'll miss you."

He backed away with a small smile playing on his pale lips. "Probably not…but I'll try."

With that said, she ruffled her brother's hair, causing him to huff, glaring playfully at her. She laughed and donned on her coat. It was hard to think it may be a while before she might see him again, but she had gone a few conscious days without him with nothing too serious creeping inside of her. Well, nothing that she wasn't already aware of, at least.

Saki walked in to the hall and opened the door, glancing one final time at Megumi as he stood statuesque, contrasting against the white walls that was their home. No; that was wrong. It was _his_ home now.

"Witch." He saluted.

She smiled, finding it endearing that he still remembered how they used to play when younger. Perhaps a tad odd for them to have played so willingly with the names that others had given them on account of their 'weird' tendencies. But it was something they did and would obviously continue to do. It was _their _way of saying 'I love you'.

"Warlock." She finally uttered and shut the door.

First, she needed to swing by Tohru's work so that she could walk her home. After that it would be a simple game of waiting for Hatori to pick her up from Shigure's.

Biting her lip, Saki walked away from the house, wondering how the day had gone by so fast.

The time she spent with her brother was nothing more than a few hours. Hours that were fuzzy at best, filled with background noises and abstract colors of that vague anime. And while, earlier, a few hours seemed like enough, she couldn't fathom it being any shorter. Already she felt the waning pull telling her that she missed him.

Saki wrapped her cloak tighter around her and headed toward the station, wiping a lone tear from her face.

There just simply weren't enough hours in one day.


	19. Of Novel Paradigm

Of Novel Paradigm (and interest)

Her hair caught on a lone breeze, ruffling the locks against her fair skin as she struggled to see the distance in front of her. Turns out walking home was more of a disaster than she wanted it to be. Mind muddled, heart clenching and head aching, she carried on, small sniffles breaking the silent night every now and again.

Alone. And for the first time in her life she _felt_ it. The streets on which she was walking were nothing, but mere color fragments divided in to the lonesome nightlife that made up the quiet town. Her feet padded softly, yet seemed booming loud in her ears as there was no one else within sight. Buildings she passed remained lit with yellow square lights, drawing no attention from her as she trudged by, her thoughts solely focused on the person she had left.

A minuscule hiccup escaped her mouth, her hand flying to cover her lips. She wouldn't cry now, not in the middle of a darkened street where the only person she knew was the one she had abandoned. When she got home, yes, she'd cry her eyes out; rid herself of the crushing weight on her chest causing her heart slow, painful beats. She'd punch her pillow and scream his name until her throat became sore, forcing her in to silence. But on a street she barely knew, where she walked alone, she would bite her lip and swallow her tears, pressing forward until she was safe.

Batting at her eyes, it was then she heard a strange noise which hadn't taken residence on the street before. Faintly…it sounded like footsteps. She stopped walking, slowed her breathing and listened for the sound.

_Clomp. Clomp…_

And it stopped. Her breathing hitched, her heart effectively silencing her by leaping too high in her throat where it palpitated, sounding similar to wild horse hooves. She froze in her stance, the sweat her body emitted growing cold and making her shiver. Experimentally she took a step forward.

_Clack._

_Clomp._

Her blood ran cold, her heart froze and her eyes widened.

Within seconds she was streaking down the street, her body nothing more than a flash of pale movement; a light shot off within a dim town. She heard the sounds of her stalker's shoes breaking the octaves of her panting, the blood rushing in her ears almost masking the noise to the point where she couldn't define how near or far the attacker was.

Then abruptly arms were around her, her own lashing out in swift, if weak, punches drained from the worry and running. She tried to scream, but her heart remained as a silencer.

"It's me!" the man cried, sounding desperately familiar, yet alien in her blind fear.

"N-no!" she cried, her blonde hair whipping about her body like a million tiny belts hitting against her frail, sweat-stained skin.

"Yukari it's me: Jin!"

Blue eyes flew open to meet crimson, her adrenaline which had been holding her up immediately dropping her like a dead weight in his arms. "Jin…I thought you were…" she cut off, sobbing in to his shoulder as he brought her close.

His body was warm, silently calming her down, stopping the quakes that wracked her body. His chest heaved with an intake of breath. "I'm sorry I scared you…and, more importantly, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean it." He sighed. "I love you."

"Oh, Jin!" she cried, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "I love you too!"

He bent down and their lips met in a hot, passionate—

"Is she _still_ reading that crap?" Kyo cried, his arms falling just as rapidly as they rose "How anyone can read that crap is beyond me!"

"There are many things _'beyond you'_." Yuki retorted, his face in a book of his own.

"What!" Kyo spun around, his face dangerously close to Yuki's, his hand smashing the text-book that Yuki was studying against the face of the table. "You better watch your mouth, ya damn rat!"

"Now, now you two, we have a guest." Shigure grinned from ear to ear, the pleasure he got from someone reading one of his novels written very obviously on his face. "I'd say Saki-chan has a wonderful taste in books."

"No, not normally." She finally spoke, her eyes leaving the novel, which was starting to get hot and heavy, for a few minutes. Resting her eyes every now and again was healthy, even if it was to talk to Tohru's surrogate family. Or so she told herself. "I often wind up reading whatever falls in to my hand."

"Hah!" Kyo screeched "See! No one reads that crap because they _like_ it."

"I never said that." She said thinly, replacing her head behind the novel as she spoke "If there is a second volume, I'd like to read that, I think."

Shigure beamed. "Ah, Saki-chan. Such a delight to have over. Really, Tohru…" he looked up as said girl entered the room "…it's a wonder you don't have her over more often."

Tohru giggled nervously. "Well actually, I was going to ask, since I don't want to intrude, but…Hana was gone before I ever got the chance."

Saki averted her gaze up to Tohru; still hidden behind the confines of paper and ink, but staring vacuously at her friend. She looked a little sad. Most of the air had lifted; still it was clear Tohru found some resentment towards the issue. Towards Saki, per say. Tohru laughed again to cover up her grief before retreating back in to the kitchen where she was currently making dinner for the family and her guest.

Placing the book on the table, Saki stood, causing the three left in the room to go silent. She immediately excused herself with a bow and followed Tohru in to the kitchen.

Seeing Tohru's back facing her, her mind worrying over the food currently, Saki automatically strayed to the sink where the dishes Tohru had used were piling up. There weren't many, Tohru was meticulous enough to wash every dish anyone used, but she was still cooking and hadn't been able to get to them yet, so it was understandable.

Rolling up her sleeves, Saki turned on the faucet, noting the way Tohru jumped out of the corner of her vision.

"Hana-chan!" she screeched, her hand flying to her chest "You don't have to do that."

"I know." She paused "I want to."

Tohru paced over to her friend and touched her arm, smiling sympathetically as she did.

"Really, it's fine." Saki began rinsing the pots "I came in here to talk to you, actually. So it's no trouble doing dishes in the meantime."

Brown eyes widened. "Me? Why?"

"Because despite apologies…you're still upset that I disappeared…"

Her brows drove together in contemplation, sorrow striking her very core as she tried desperately to cover the regretful feelings. "I'm not mad, Hana-chan." She then smiled brightly, all the more worrying that it was beaming "I'm not your mother, whether you decide to leave or not is none of my business and I know that. Hana is free to do what Hana wants!"

"I never said you were mad. Even so, I didn't contact you and now that we've made up I haven't told you a single detail about why I was gone. We apologized and left some of the animosity between us, no matter how much of the air we cleared on forgiveness alone."

Tohru frowned. "I just…I'm sorry. I'm really, _really_ sorry. I was just _so_ worried and…and I didn't hear anything from you after the graveyard." She paused, sighing as she strangled the kitchen mitt in her hand, the corner of her mouth forming a small, aching smile "Then you show up and it's so thrilling to see you again! It's as though nothing happened. But that's just the thing. Something _did_ happen. And you're not telling me."

Saki continued wiping, scrubbing and placing the dishes to dry as she let Tohru rant. Her words striking chords Saki forgot she ever possessed. With a sigh of apprehension, Saki shut off the faucet and turned to face Tohru. "There are things we will keep secret from each other. As friends, we only want to protect one another…and by keeping secrets, we feel we are accomplishing that goal. Am I right, Tohru?"

Tohru fell dead silent, her eyes staring vacantly at the ground, at her twisting toes. Shame wasn't a color she often wore. It also wasn't one Saki enjoyed seeing on her.

"I know there are secrets you're keeping from Arisa and me, but it's not right of me to ask you to explain. You have your reasons for keeping them safe, just as I have mine." She paused "Food's ready."

Just then the timer dinged, sending Tohru in to the sky with a jump before she had a chance to recollect herself and tend to dinner. "Scared me…" she muttered laughing.

"Make sure you have enough dinner for six."

Tohru looked up, surprised. "I…well I always make sure there's an extra helping in case Kyo or Yuki would want some more, but…why do you say that?"

Saki smiled "We're going to have a visitor."

No sooner had she said it, a knock sounded at the door.

XXXX

It wasn't a particularly warm night. The frost-bite of winter was beginning to show itself in the tell-tale signs of Fall, but it wasn't quite Fall yet either. Still it would have been nice if they got to the door quicker. Hatori was tired and that didn't help to warm his aching bones up.

Finally he heard a creak from the door, light shining upon the ground in a long, rectangular form until it was obscured by a shadowed. "Hatori-tan! What a lovely surprise!" Shigure shoved the door open, immediately welcoming the doctor in to his home "Did you miss me?"

"No."

"You always wound me, Tori!"

"Have you finished that script yet?"

Innocently Shigure smiled "What script?"

"Your editor called me today at the office and asked if I knew how you were doing and when you would be back from the hospital." He paused "I wasn't aware that sitting at home was considered being at the hospital."

"I _did_ have to go to the hospital, thanks for the concern." He folded his arms, turning his head away from Hatori in offense.

"Really? What for?"

Poking one eye at his friend, Shigure threw his arms to the side in a fashion as dramatic as possible before squirming with fake tears under Hatori's vacant gaze. "For all the times you wound me so! The nurses weren't sure I'd survive; your words cut deep!"

Hatori rolled his eyes and entered in to the warm, welcoming light. He couldn't understand why the editor hadn't just quit already. He'd have to find a way to make it up to that poor woman before she keeled over from raw nerves.

Before he could think on the matter any longer though, his head was filled with a warm sensation from the room. The house was no different in appearance, but there certainly were salacious, salivating smells wafting over from the kitchen and dining room. His stomach growled as he put a hand to it. He really should have eaten before coming.

"Woah!" Shigure laughed, leaning in towards Hatori's stomach with a hand to his ear "Sounds like your housing a tiger in there. If Kisa goes missing, I'll tell them where to look."

Hatori simply took off his shoes, pushed passed his friend and followed his nose. It was better than reaching for his cigarettes, he supposed. A habit that, though dying to satisfy, he confessed he was trying to rid himself of; though the 'why' of the issue was escaping him at moment's notice.

Upon entering the dining room, he was surprised to see both Kyo _and_ Yuki sitting at the table; with nothing less than pleasant mannerisms too. Spotting Kyo's knee rising up from behind the table, he shrugged. Well, as pleasant as one could expect with those two.

"Kyo. Yuki." Hatori greeted, lining the wall like a stone.

"Ah…" Yuki turned, his gaze drifting upward in astonishment.

"Who the hell invited you?" came the not-so pleasant reply from Kyo.

Not giving anyone a chance to answer or ask any more questions, Shigure poked his head, opening his mouth with his sing-song voice "Oh, Tohru-! I hope you made enough food, we have another guest!"

"That's not necessary..." Hatori waved his hand to decline the offer as Tohru strode in from the kitchen, smiling.

"So I've been informed." She giggled "It's nice to see you again, Hatori. And I've made enough food for everyone."

He shook his head "Really I should just be…"

"I insist!" she piped up "I know you work so hard every day and put in such long hours…it'll help me rest easy knowing that you had at least one meal…please?"

He sighed. How could he say 'no' to a puppy face like that? It was simple: he couldn't. "Alright. Thank you, Tohru."

With a laugh and nod, Tohru placed the plates she carried on the table and ducked back inside the kitchen.

"Might as well. All I'd be able to fix you is cereal." Her voice floated on a whisper, shocking Hatori in to silence when she walked in to the room. Saki smiled at him and bowed. "Sohma-san."

And so the games begin, he thought. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Miss..._Hanajima_...was it?"

Her face usually so pallid and empty in their expressions actually broke in to a smile. "You have a good memory, Sohma-san."

Shigure's brow rose "You've met Saki-chan, Hatori-tan?"

"Once. At Momiji and Hatsuharu's welcoming ceremony."

"Well now…" Shigure grinned, eagerly rising to his knees "…small world isn't it?"

Hatori's gaze left the table to take residence in the purple swirling eyes that belonged to no other than Saki. Small world…Shigure had _no idea_.


	20. The Way

The Way (you lie)

Only now recognizable was the blaring in her ear as a fog covered mind attempted to clear the air, signaling her body to reach for silence. Questionably focusing on the buzzing, Saki smacked a free hand against anything she could find; sheets, covers, pillows, more pillows (lots and lots of pillows) and headboard.

She fished around some more with her eyes closed, far from willing to blink against the unwelcoming rays of light, before she found what she was looking for. The bedside table would surely possess the damnable alarm clock buzzing obnoxiously throughout her hearing. When her fingers touched the wood, she whispered a hiss in surprise. Hatori would no doubt reprimand her if he found out she was vacating not only the wrapping gauze on her hands now, but also the gloves for temporary use. Shaking the thought from her ever-floating mind, Saki stretched her fingers back out, tapping them along the smooth surface as she looked for a disturbance on the wood.

When the only sort of disturbance she could discover was the base of Hatori's lamp, she groaned, shifted on her right side, gripped one of the many pillows within her contact and shoved it against her ear. Needless to say: it didn't help.

Suddenly, as if someone had physically forced her, she sat up gasping, her eyes wide and her hair falling disheveled around her.

Last night. Sohma House. They talked. They laughed. They drank. They drank _sake'_.

As if in confirmation of the memories, a pang pounded horribly against her skull, sending her diving straight back in to the darkness only pillows could provide. It wasn't much, but it was most certainly better than nothing. Covered in her hopeful lasting shade, Saki tried to think of more than just the events of what they _did_. She was more worried about what might have been _said_; it was disconcerting when she consulted the denpa and couldn't get an answer. Perhaps it chose to ignore those certain events; and maybe it just chose to ignore _her_. Whatever the case, it wasn't answering when called, in a manner of speaking, so Saki decided to just let it be. No use worrying over spilled milk.

Still it gave her reason to ponder just how many fetishes of hers the Sohma's were now aware of.

With alarm from the sudden remembrance quickly fading, alarm from the alarm jogged back to the top of the list. Refusing to remove her eyes from the comforting depths of darkness, Saki stretched her arm across to the other side of the bed, looking for the probability of another night-stand. She couldn't see it, couldn't remember the possibility of ever having _had_ seen it, but that annoying buzz was coming from somewhere in this room, somewhere near her.

Her hand grappled along the pillows, tossing them backwards seeing as the barriers only accosted her focus instead of furthering her approach. She slid her body ever-so-slightly toward the point of direction, her hand reeling as it touched another object of cold, hard wood. Bingo.

Saki threw her hand with all her might to the surface. But it never found footing.

"Feeling better, I assume. Enough to disregard the gloves I instructed you to wear." Hatori sighed, his grip tightening slightly around her wriggling wrist.

"Perky." She rivaled, the growl in her tone made unmistakable. "It would do wonders for my health if an alarm clock were to explode."

"Tidy. I'd think you were on a killing spree if I didn't have my wits about me."

"May-hap, you'll need to excuse me this early in the morning after receiving a vast amount of alcohol to the bloodstream. I meant to say: disappear."

"Ah." He said, Saki not needing to see the smile to hear it in his voice.

Finally the alarm cut off mid-beep, causing Saki to relax her muscles. She hadn't realized she was straining them until then.

"A nicer approach to waking me would be taking a jack-hammer to my skull, don't you think?"

Hatori chuckled, gripping the pillow atop her head and lifting it to gaze upon her. Or rather her hair; she was lying face down to her advantage. Or maybe it was her disadvantage? Hm. She didn't really know. She didn't really care. "I would have assumed you already felt that way."

"Maybe I do."

"In any case, I brought you some pills and a glass of water. I want you to drink it all after taking the pills. It should help ease the headache…more accurately: 'hangover'."

"I do love when you joke." She mentioned sarcastically, rising from her pillow-cave to block even the slightest ray of light with her forearm. "And _you _aren't crippled because-?"

"Because I consumed more water than alcohol. Water greatly decreases, if not nullifies the effect of a hangover. Besides, I hardly had any to begin with; responsibilities of a designated driver and all that."

"Hm. Yesterday…I thought it was…why am I waking up this early? It has to be at least six in the morning."

"You're not scheduled to go to school today, but I figured it couldn't hurt to get you back on schedule for waking up early." He paused. "Ease you back in to the routine, if you will."

And so the pattern resets its course, she thought morosely. What a shame. Here Saki had assumed that she had broken the particular pattern her life seemed to be spiraling towards and the minute she thought she had permanently escaped: the 'routine' slowly, but gradually pulled her back in.

Hatori seemingly jolted back in to awareness by releasing the wrist he had still been gripping. Running the now vacant appendage through his hair, Hatori abruptly sat up and mumbled a "Wash up and get dressed."

"One more thing." She called.

Once he reached the door, Hatori inhaled very slowly and turned around to regard her with one eye.

"Did I say anything specifically peculiar to you last night?"

Without the blaring of the alarm, the room was surely mute, but now…now with a question hanging in the air like drying laundry it became deafeningly silent. Hatori's stance didn't grow rigid, but it wasn't moving much either. For all it was worth, he could contend with a statue if it weren't for his breathing. Then he dropped his shoulders and removed his gaze from hers.

"For starters, you confessed your irrational fear of empty, white rooms." He simpered "'_Peculiar'_…but you say many a-peculiar things, Saki…even when you're sober."

Absently, she smiled. "On that note…did I say anything cogent, then?"

"That I can recall?" he shook his head "Not a thing."

"I suppose I'll be wondering about how you, Kyo, 'Gure-san, Yuki and Tohru all know the pattern on my underwear in the near future?"

"Doubtless."

The door clicked close, leaving Saki speechless on the massive mess of a bed.

No, the only thing that was doubtless was the fact that Hatori blatantly lied to her…and her denpa couldn't figure out exactly what he was hiding.

XXXX

He was readable. That much he was sure of. It was hard to ignore the blatant inquiry to Saki's quirked eyebrow; hard to ignore her at all quite honestly. Still, despite his inability to lie, he was becoming much better at hiding the pieces of information he refused to give the child.

Perhaps he left her feeling a little suspicious. For her a little suspicion was just what she needed. Instead of accepting, she needed to heed him. A little suspicion was healthy; or so he told himself.

Causing him to slightly stir, Hatori listened as the water turned on abruptly through the pipes, a rushing sound audible through the walls. She was taking a shower. Perfect. That gave him a few minutes to relax, whilst she primped herself for the day ahead.

Hatori fell onto the couch with less practiced ease than he imagined he would have. The most obvious reason for his stress would be his lie. And he would confirm the notion. Like acid corroding away at rusted metal, he could feel his insides being eaten away from the sheer weight of withholding information from her; especially since she specifically asked him the question he was dreading to begin with.

Maybe if it hadn't been so direct he wouldn't be feeling so guilty…but he doubted it. Simply running last night's events through his head made his queasy stomach turn in insidious culpability.

XXXX

He'd never seen her this way; so relaxed, so free…so _drunk_.

It did wonders to her features; Saki practically radiated with the warmth of the evening's drink, her eyes glowing with cat-like brilliance and her smile swaying gently two notches above a frown. That in itself was a major step for her.

Hatori chuckled as she fumbled over words; over her own two feet as they walked to the car. Shigure wasn't holding up much better, but to his credit he had more than the legal dosage; which was both surprising and concerning. Faintly he could hear the dramatic howls of Shigure inside the house as he practically carried the swaying girl to his vehicle.

"I think I can hold my own, Ha-san." She batted his arms, attempting to stand on her own, but killing any truth in her statement by falling ungracefully back in to Hatori's steady arms.

"You're not sober enough to be thinking. Save the thinking for tomorrow, when you have a headache and are cursing the world for it."

She hummed. "I get headaches from people more so, Ha-san."

"I thought we were talking about your thinking incapability."

"Were we? I don't remember. It was far too long ago."

"It was two seconds ago." He retorted with a snort.

"Yes. Far too long."

Watching alertly as Saki took a dive for a face-plant in to the dirt, Hatori immediately threw his arm around her waist before she could hit the ground. She laughed. "My hero"

"You won't say so tomorrow when you remember this."

Saki closed her eyes momentarily as he helped her regain some sense of balance; which really wasn't much as she continued to rock back and forth as though she were putting herself to sleep. "Don't worry. I won't remember."

With the shake of his head, Hatori all but loaded her like a suitcase in to his car before rounding the side and sliding in, himself.

The latch to his seat belt clicked as he buckled himself in to place, the door slamming simultaneously with the click. He then looked over to Saki, who was already sleeping, and reached over to buckle her seat-belt as well.

When his hand ran over her abdomen she stirred and smiled at him. Hatori indefinitely froze. It was one of those smiles that caught you at the utmost off-guard. Warm, inviting and…affectionate?

"Do you ever drop your guard?" she asked.

"You've been known to break through."

"Perhaps, but you never really let go, do you?"

"I try to keep face. Professionalism is a part of life."

"For you it's more than just a part of life. It's unhealthy."

He chuckled. "So now you're the doctor?"

"Psychotherapist. I cure the psychotic."

"I thought they cured the psychologically ill."

She hummed again, making Hatori look at her and smile. He decided he liked the sound of her humming. "Same thing, isn't it?"

"No."

"I believe it is. You have to be some form of psychotic to be psychologically ill." She mused "Or just masochistic. And I'm positive we've established that you are."

"So you're going to psychoanalyze me?" he asked incredulously, starting the car and pulling away.

"Since you insist."

"But I didn-"

"First off, you're insufferable."

Hatori had to resist the urge to laugh at her expense. "Now that's not how a professional approaches conflict."

"Let me do my job, Ha-san."

Without taking the heel of his palms off the wheel, Hatori threw his fingers in the air, suggesting that he relinquished his position to her expertise.

She continued. "Where was I? Something about insufficientable…"

"'Insufferable', as I recall it."

"Ah, yes. You're insufferable. What did I say before?"

"Insufficientable, which in my years of studying vocabulary was never a word that came across in either dictionary or medical book."

"Keep studying. I'm sure it's there." She paused, a finger on her lip as she seemed pre-occupied in studying the roof of the vehicle. "Hmmm…I can't remember what I was doing. Should I be concerned?"

"At this rate I believe sleep should be the top priority on your list."

Saki laughed. "Then I have undoubtedly failed. Ha-san is the top priority on _my_ list."

He quirked a brow, never taking an eye off the road. Hatori was well aware of how unpredictable driving could be. Sometimes you could run in to half-dazed, denpa-toting, hypothermia-induced women. "I don't understand why I would be any concern of yours. I'm rather capable of taking care of myself."

"Which worries me." She sighed, her head no longer able to resist the force of gravity as it tumbled over, leaning pathetically on her shoulder. He could see she was losing the battle with consciousness. Wanting to be awake for his namesake, to which he had no clue why, but welcoming the birth of sleep as it took her and her limbs with it. "Ha-san…is very lonely."

"I don't see why you would think so. I have plenty of extraordinary people surrounding me."

"Being lonely is different than being alone, because you're never _alone_, Ha-san." Saki turned her head to rest on her other shoulder, her eyes drooping, but facing him just as lethally as they would when she was sober and wide-awake. "You shared more than you thought you did with Miss Kana. And I have to say, I'm a bit jealous of her. She was kind to the point of inducing vomit. And so very easily was she able to steal your soul…I, on the other hand, can't even steal your heart."

He chuckled dryly, nervously. "And why would you want to do that?"

"Because I love you, Ha-san. More than Kana ever could."

Hatori had to steady his shaking, sweaty palms so that he didn't veer off the road on that statement. Immediately he was set on the defensive. "How would _you _know how she loved?"

"I've lived in Kana. Through your memories and dreams…I _am_ Kana. I felt what she felt, saw what she saw…and I've come to realize that what she felt for you…is nothing in comparison to what I feel for you, Ha-san. I love you. I don't know how much more plainly I can put it to make you understand."

"You're inebriated. Once it fades, so will the feelings."

Hana's eyes finally gave way to sleep as they drooped close for the last time. "I'm intoxicated…and yet I've never felt more sober in my life."


	21. Do You Fall?

Do you Fall (too)?

Scars faded, injuries healed. As time presses on so do the processes that come with such a passing. With each and every hour that ticked by, each and every singular thought that arose, her wounds slowly began to mend, her hands no longer requiring protection that she had forfeited to begin with. Saki's exterior was healing rather nicely; even if her interior were in shambles.

The hunt for answers left her feeling vague, empty and slightly discouraged. While her questions only deepened, her appetite for an answer became impossible to appease. And as it had panned out, Hatori wouldn't be back to quell her hunger anytime soon. Cock-blocking could ensue, even if he honestly hadn't meant it to this time, seeing as Akito had apparently contracted a cold and needed 24 hour monitoring.

For a week now, Saki had been creating scenarios in her mind's eye to which she could play out in real life so as to cause injury to herself and receive Hatori's attentions. But she surmised that would end in him ignoring her and returning straight back to Akito. After all, his loyalty did not lie within her.

By now, she was far too tired to conjure scenarios, far too tired to execute plans. The days with Hatori gone were costly to her health. As Megumi had once been her pole of stability in a swirling vortex of an unstable world, Hatori was now that grounding pole, if not much more than that.

Today in particular, she had consumed hours at her parent's house visiting Megumi and enjoying her time with her younger brother, Arisa and Tohru. After school it was unanimously decided that Saki's old house was the place of congregation, which she wasn't opposed to as she was able to see her brother that way. Besides, Saki genuinely wanted to hang around with Tohru and Arisa. It had been a while since she had.

Once they left, seeing as night was vastly descending upon them, Saki made her retreat as well.

As she walked over the threshold of the door and into the condo, it hit her like a flying brick just how exhausted she was. Her shoulders slumped with invisible weight, body sinking to the floor as she kept balance with her back against the door. Bum hitting the floor, Saki lifted her head, staring vacantly at the ceiling.

She was getting sick. It was easy enough to know her own body and when she lost several days of sleep her immune system decided it was high-time to retire. She hid the symptoms well enough. Clearing her throat was a ruse to cover the coughs; saying she was tired (which wasn't a lie anyway) gave way to her feelings of utter chills and finally excusing herself to the restroom for 'duty-calls' gave her ample time to gag in to toilets when nothing came out.

Her stomach turned in false upheaval in confirmation of such statements, her throat swallowing the sensation before she had a chance to spew the contents of school lunch all over Hatori's immaculate dressings.

By no means would a hand over her mouth repel the sickness, still it served to help her feel slightly better in case of withdrawing the contents of her stomach. It wouldn't matter so much if her own mess ended up on her hands. Washing hands was easy enough. She just didn't feel like mopping an already slick enough floor.

Head slouching to the side, Saki stared dejectedly around, her eyes focusing on nothing in particular as the heat of an oncoming fever radiated from her forehead, pilfering the warmth from her limbs leaving only the cold to settle in her body.

Common sense would argue that now was the time for her to haul her ass up and into bed. But seeing as her own deductions never often led to brilliance, Saki ignored the concept in favor of not having to move. The fever could potentially be to blame for that, but Saki thought it iniquitous, unjust to fault her fever; she was just lazy.

Already she was starting to tremble from the chills; it probably wouldn't be too much longer before she passed out from sheer fatigue. Saki simply let the cold overtake her as she waited for the sweet bliss of the dark veil to rob her senses.

Karma's a bitch though, and it seemed today of all days, it was out to get her. Darkness, bliss, whatever you wanted to call it: it never came. She was left sitting there amidst her nausea, cursing the butterflies that made her stomach feel like muck.

Her head told her to call Hatori. Nothing major really; just inquire where he hid the medicine; where he hid the drugs that would knock her out for the rest of the night.

Plain and simple: she wanted some sleep. And if Hatori was going to stay at the Sohma Estate for another week, not that he relayed any info to her, then she needed the next best thing to put her to sleep: drugs.

Minds did often change, however, and hers was not exempt from the capability. As she would confirm the option by attempting to get up and grab the phone, Saki would pull a last-minute-reconsideration, leaving her butt where it sat and her arms where they draped; against the cold hard surface of the condos glass-like tiles.

This only served in making her feel colder, her body shaking like a leaf on a windy day. Saki figured it was time to get into bed and wrap her body up like a cocoon in Hatori's blankets. He wouldn't mind if she perspired all over his linens. At least, he would be forced to ignore it because regardless of what he thought she was going to anyway.

Depending on what her stomach decided to do she might vomit on them too.

Lovely thought.

Pressing her weight heavily against the door behind her, Saki pulled as much strength as she could administer from her legs and tried to lift her body upwards. It was a difficult task with no decorations or furnishings to seize help from. And just when she managed to get halfway, the door pushed her over; head first onto a cold, hard floor.

It took her a few full minutes to regain a veneer of consciousness, her fevered mind immediately straying to: 'Damn doors. They really _can_ hit you in the butt.' After another few seconds she scrunched her nose, asking herself how doors could move on their own in the first place.

A voice answered her question.

"And what possessed you to make you sprawl against the floor in such a..." Hatori glanced over her underwear which was visible from her arrangement "...lady-like position?"

"The dignity your condo exudes is awe-inspiring. I felt the overwhelming urge to do something stupid so...here I am."

"Likely story..." He yawned, slightly bending to get a better view of her face and the possible problem causing her flaccidity "It's too bad I don't believe you."

"Don't waste your time. You sound like dirt. Go get some sleep. Help me later when you don't sound like you swallowed a lawn-mower."

Shaking his head, Hatori crouched to her level, knees bending as his feet continued to support the weight. Purple eyes glared menacingly up at him; had he not a heart he might have laughed at the comedy of it all. She was, after all, face down on the floor unmoving, him towering above her form. If anyone had the upper hand it was by no means her.

Saki conceded and closed her eyes. Seeing as she had no other alternative within her grasp; moving was no longer an option she would consider.

Then all at once, her anxiety, illness and nausea evaporated at the touch of Hatori's cool hand on her forehead. It was relaxing. But she couldn't bask in the sensation too long, for Hatori reeled away too rapidly.

"You're burning up."

"Not on fire."

"You might as well be."

"Sorry to disappoint then, because I am, under no circumstances, stopping, dropping and rolling."

Hatori chuckled. "Well you have two of the three executed. You're forehead isn't cooling any from lying on the floor though."

"I'm not rolling, Ha-san. I'm not moving an inch."

"And how exactly did you plan on taking care of this problem if I didn't come home?"

Saki attempted thought of scenarios, 'excuses' if you will, to give Hatori; it quickly became apparent that the fever was messing with her brain-wave function. A side-effect of that was talking incoherently. "I'm of capable...fever...take care...of myself?"

"Yes, you're grammatically incorrect sentences attest to such a notion."

"Shut up...ass."

Hatori laughed "Sick and still biting…I believe it's safe to say: you'll be fine."

Saki sighed, her arms crawling beneath her so that they may lift her weight off the ground, pulling her out of such an unruly position. She tried and tried, but to no avail. "Why are you here? I thought Akito was sick."

"Was. He had a cold so I monitored his health for a few days to make sure it didn't turn in to something worse…something like what you have, per say."

"Hardy har har." She spat, pushing her arms so hard against the tile floor that when she let go the force her face smacked the floor with held just as much intensity as the former. "Mm…I've decided. The floor's much nicer. Go to bed, I'm sleeping here tonight."

Rolling his eyes, half in amusement, Hatori grabbed Saki by the waist, beginning the ascent on pulling her limp body off of the floor. In effort to help him, even if only by the little bit she could handle, Saki put her unstable palms to the floor, her feet finding their traction and assisting her up.

They reached halfway like that when Saki's stomach lurched, lifted and then promptly fell like an elevator with its cable clipped. Unable to produce an intelligible sound besides the 'mmph' associated with the upheaval of one's stomach contents, Saki shoved Hatori aside to run for the restroom, but as fate would have it out for her, Saki only made it two steps in front of Hatori before falling and then promptly releasing every ounce of her innards on the floor.

Like the gentleman he was, he kept a grip on her shoulders and pulled her hair back while she spewed all over his clean tiles.

Positive that she coughed a lung up in the mess somewhere, Saki wobbled to stand after the wrenching ordeal, grateful that Hatori's grip never faltered. Else she might have ended up in her own pile of guts; which, in thinking about it, wasn't a wonderful prospect.

"I-I…I'll clean that..."

"No. You won't." Hatori assessed firmly, bending further to grip her legs and pull her body into his arms and against his chest.

Saki's eyes widened with the inertia from being hauled in to the air, tightly closing her eyes as if the motion would prevent her from vomiting again if she felt the need. Moments passed that she kept her eyes closed, but with no support underneath her neck, her head fell back, unable to support its own weight after the energy loss. "How are you-? Is the curse broken?"

Hatori cocked his elbow under her head so that she wouldn't get sick again from the flailing position her neck had assumed. "No. You learn how far you can bend the rules when you're cursed. How do you think I managed to bring your unconscious body to the Sohma Estate when we first met? As long as I cease from completing the hug by wrapping my hands around your side we're fine. Just don't move, essentially."

Weakly she smiled "No arguments there."

His heart compressed at the smile. He'd seen her in a weak position before, he'd seen her naked and unconscious for good measure. Somehow, it was different to see her coherently recognizing the pain her body was putting her through. Her body draping over his arms like a marionette did nothing to quell the ache in his heart that had just dropped daringly in to his stomach.

Mind set and refocusing on his patient's needs, Hatori proceeded to carry her to his bed, wrap her up in the blankets and place a cool, damp towel upon her forehead. She wanted to thank him, to tell him that she appreciated him being around her more than words could express. Saki wanted to convey all of the feelings welling up inside of her like a volcano about to erupt, but the heaviness of deprived sleep began to overtake her the minute she was settled in his bed. So instead she settled for intertwining her fingers with his.

Hatori jumped at the affectionate contact, his hand contracting backward only to be locked tighter in her grip. "Stay." She ordered quietly, rolling her body toward him and drifting back off to sleep, the death-grip dwindling until eventually her hand only limply grasped his, enabling him to sneak away.

Still, he didn't move. Hatori simply sat there, his hand in hers, observing her sleep. He lifted a hand to remove a lock of her hair from her face and deeply sighed.

He could be so dense sometimes. The love she exuded for him was painfully obvious to him now since her drunken confession. Surely, a simple gesture like this wouldn't have alarmed him (too much at least) before. Hatori probably would've compared the contact like that with one's security blanket: the object of security giving the owner a sense of peace to allow sleep. Hatori was now her security. But he was also her love.

He rubbed his aching, itching, tired-stricken eyes. She was falling far too fast. For them...for _him_. He needed to halt the progress or face the consequences. And with Akito in charge, he wasn't sure how willing he was to face the latter.

As hard as it were to admit; Hatori wasn't helping the problem. After being gone for almost a week, he had missed Saki just as much, if not more. Each agonizingly slow, sleepless night he found himself wondering what she was doing, where she was at and hoping that she was getting some form of sleep. And while that had been obviously utterly hopeless, Hatori held on to some perseverance that Akito's cold would relent and he could go back home.

Hm. Home, he thought, I've never called it thus before. It wasn't home when he retired from his work to sleep on the stiff, bland couch. It wasn't home when he had a day off that accounted for catching up on his paper work. A month ago, he never would have called his condo home. In fact, it still wasn't what he considered home. When Hatori thought of going 'home': Saki came to mind. Not the tasteless lights in his condo or the bed lined with clean linens. He _always_ thought of Saki.

This entire time he had been blind to it, but now it showed more than ever; like a blinking neon sign pointing the way. Ever since they first met, Hatori had been right beside her. Their abilities recognized the static before either one of them at all. Something resonated between them that pulled the two together at any cost. He'd never experienced emotions this _raw_ or love so deep that it connected with something deeper than just what existed on the outside. Not with family, not with Kana...not with anyone.

Perhaps...Saki wasn't the only one falling; hadn't been the only one falling. For some time now Hatori had been falling right beside her; on a descent in to hell.


	22. Closer

Closer (than we think)

Though her hand was warm, he was gone when she awoke. All that she was left with was a note that she found upon later inspection in the kitchen. It read, in Hatori's scrawled hand-writing:

'Akito called. I contacted your school. Take the day off and rest. –Hatori'

If she had been thinking straight, Saki might have suspected something then. But as her tired mind processed the words, nothing seemed wrong; if anything it was simply too direct; too short. Nonetheless short and to the point proved it was no other than Hatori who wrote the note.

She supposed he must have been in a hurry with the way the writing ended with the 'I' in his name turning into a line which leaped off the page and could be faintly seen continuing on the counter, where he discarded the pen.

Lightly she wondered if Akito's cold flared back up. It was no less in season than it had been yesterday. While Fall was bearing into its annual state of dormancy, Winter had been vastly approaching, nipping cold toes and noses with its seasonal illnesses.

She wasn't faring too much better than the day before, herself. One misstep could guarantee her a personal room in the hospital. Which was why she intended on abusing this day to the fullest of extents. If she was going to end up in the hospital, it would be worth it; not because she stayed at the condo like an obedient puppy, but because she didn't follow orders and decided to head in to town.

Yes, a doctor _did_ tell her to stay home and respite, that didn't mean she ever had any intentions of doing such a thing.

Gripping the hem of her coat, she tossed the accessory on, wrapping it firmly around her frame before she set foot out of Hatori's condo.

XXXX

Streets are the veins of a city. Long and winding, they always lead to and from the heart. People passed people like blood cells passing blood cells, never paying mind to another except to flow by.

Saki thrived in these veins of anonymity. Her identity forsaken to the wind, careless as it drifts towards the edge of forgetfulness. If there was one thing that set her apart, it would be her everlasting color. Dark and brooding a statement, her blood cell would be black, if not just purple amongst the blue.

In this seclusion she made it a point to stay closer to buildings, farther from streets. Her hood resting delicately over her head as the cape of her cloak lied brilliantly against her stature. She could've been nothing more than a shadow, a dark mist making its way past street corners, alleyways and districts; desired to be nothing more than a shadow or mist amongst the people she passed. Saki held no sympathy in the strangers pushing her shoulders in to walls as they consumed walk-ways with their obese atmospheres.

Who needs that much space anyway? She thought, tightening the choke-hold on her cloak.

Just as she finished the thought another pedestrian crossed the street to the sidewalk, immediately ramming his full-sized, male, marble-contested body up against her smaller frame. Thrown off by the suddenness of the impact, Saki stumbled against the building next to her, her body pinned between both man and man-made.

Without uttering anything even remotely close to a 'sorry', the man released her from the confines, pacing as quickly as he could manage down the walk in, thankfully, the opposite direction from which she was headed.

In attempts to recover from the surprise, Saki grappled her fingers along the mortar of the building, trying to gain a sense of stabilization before she lost it all to her shaking. Hm, she thought, maybe_ I_ need that much space.

It took no more than mere minutes for her to collect herself, but the time wasted felt like an eternity to her still reeling mind. And despite the lack of a destination, Saki decided the building she was leaning up against was just a good of choice as any other. Ignoring both signs and designs, she waited for the automatic sliding glass doors to open, entering without hesitation as they did.

The grey monotony of the bustling world outside seemed far away within the walls of the tiny shop she had just entered. As though entering a shop could be the great equivalent to entering another world. Specifically one where pastels seemed to rule.

The shop was small, yet quaint. Most notably it had four bookshelves, each defined with a different pastel-colored symbol. From left to right: the first was graced with a club in the selected shade of mint green, the next was a soft pink heart, followed by a chalky purple spade and lastly a yellow diamond. Each book shelf carried seven rolls of differently colored, as well as patterned, fabrics, but it seemed the symbols held no purpose in the fabric's organization; she really couldn't tell the significance any of the symbols held. They probably held none at all, Saki just tended to look deeply in to every little detail. Yes; she was often told she over-analyzed everything a little too much.

Old habits die hard.

Still, she thought, momentarily forgetting her life's events as a whole, a fabric shop? She'd heard of them, but ever entering or visiting one was hardly detrimental to her. Saki's interests didn't lie in creating clothes or fabric-required objects.

Cute, but there really was no point in her residing in the shop any longer. It served its purpose as a resting place from the outside world, now it was time for her to return and continue her spur of the moment exploration before darkness descended. Saki turned around to leave, the door opening in hushing approval when footsteps came to greet her.

"I'm sorry, can I help you?" A young, obviously female, voice called out to her.

If you _could_ help me, I'd be surprised, Saki thought, bowing politely towards the woman. "Just passing through."

"Well then _something _must have caught your interest!"

"Mm..."

"Don't worry! We'll take good care of you!" The woman insisted, approaching Saki with familiarity she had never been exposed to before. With a tight grip and strong pull, the clerk grabbed her arm, all but dragging Saki like a rag-doll toward a back room "My name's Mine', by the way."

"Hm."

"You don't say much. That's alright though. I can work with silent." She glanced back long enough to wink, her eyes gleaming mischievously before settling back ahead on her destination. "Would I be asking too much for your name?"

"Hanajima, Saki."

"Ah: Hana-san. Or do you prefer Hana-chan?"

"Mm."

"Hana-chan it is!" Mine' declared giggling, shutting the door behind her while directing Saki in to what seemed more like an employee lounge than a customer service area.

"Now let me get a better look at you."

Pushing Saki to stand in a designated spot, Mine' backed away until she received just the right angle of the young girl standing before her. In return, Saki finally got to observe the woman in front of _her_.

Small and dainty, this Mine' held the appearance of a child. Yet, in the same token, her body was far too mature to mistake her for one. Large brown eyes spoke of innocence, magnified only by the glasses she wore over them. Brown hair was dutifully decorated in two curling pigtails. The combination was oddly fascinating and it worked quite well on her. She wore a pastel green nurses outfit; as odd as that may be, Saki wasn't going to question it. Her attire would look strange in comparison to anyone else as well.

Suddenly Mine' gasped, distracting Saki from any further observation as she launched herself at Saki's shoulders and held on. "I have the PERFECT dress for you! Come on!"

From there on, she was dragged in to a room, stripped and redressed; all the while she fought no more than a doll does against the onslaught of a four year old's will. The child, Mine', looked as though she were slaughtering the doll, Saki; insanely pleased with the task she was implementing. Despite the vicious, psychopathic gleam in her eyes, her hands were not violent as they swiftly donned the dress over Saki's head or as she pulled the zipper in the back closed. Gentle and soft, her hands could've been nothing more than a ghost's whispering touch; a touch imagined, felt and still lingering.

When she was done with the dress, Mine' instantaneously moved to Saki's hair. She wasn't a hair dresser by any means, but she knew stunning hair when she saw it. And hair which was that extensive and that dazzling had no basis being obscured in a braid.

Flipping the length and draping the curls to fall gracefully on Saki's shoulders, Mine' grinned, spun the helpless girl around and admired her toil to the fullest. "Gorgeous! I knew this dress would suit you perfectly! It's not often I get to try our more vintage styles on a guest."

Without responding, Saki twisted around, her shoulders adroitly guided by the employee's hands as she came face to face with a full-length mirror and the manifestation upon it. The image she was met with fleetingly congested the pounding of her heart. When it began to beat once again, her mind hurried to originate thoughts, struggling to engage the old Saki with the one she was presently gawking at in the mirror.

Above all, the first thing that struck her was the color of the dress. Her usual gloomy blacks and dark purples were replaced by an elegant cream colored lace. More Edwardian than Victorian, the garb consisted of a variety of laces. While the top, which cut off only inches under her bust line at her waist, consisted of a smooth, solid, almost-filmy cream lace, the inch thick cincher adorned a more familiar patterned-type lace with various collage, flower-like petals inside the design. This fabric also decorated above the V-neck to the collar as well as from the end of the flowing sleeve-lines to her wrists. The bottom part of the dress (the skirt, if you will) possessed the same smooth lace as the top, creating a balance by flowing in to the patterned lace at the ends. In the front the skirt cut off, roughly, just above her knees, proceeding around her frame where it dipped to its lowest point at the middle of the back of her legs. The look solidified itself with the knee-high, string-tied black boots. Her hair acted as a sort of balance between it and the boots with the brightly colored dress placed in the middle.

She looked like the epitome of innocence. Saki balked. "Do you have anything darker?"

"Darker?" Mine' put a thoughtful hand to her chin and looked up. With a vigorous shake of her head, she smiled "Nope! Not in these styles, at least. Why? Not comfortable?"

"The dress itself isn't…uncomfortable."

Quite the contrary actually; Saki felt as though she could sleep in the elegant garment without much complaint. Much unusual compared to her other dresses. Even her most comfortable dress was always just a tad abrasive.

"Ah, I see…" Mine' grinned "_You're_ not comfortable wearing such a bright color. Well, let me tell you, darker colors only give you a washed out look with your fair skin. I almost mistook you for a ghost when I saw you in the shop!"

That's what I want, Saki brusquely contemplated.

"Nonetheless…Brighter might be better for you, don't you think? Brighten up that wardrobe and who's to say that other things won't follow suit."

Curtseying, Mine' dipped from the room before Saki could even think of a reply fit enough to answer against such words of simple, but weight-lifting advice.

Glancing back to the mirror, she assiduously began studying her reflection with a keen eye. Brighter…better? It had a ring to it as truth often did, but that alone wasn't enough to convince Saki that such a proclamation chimed accurate in the obscurity she called a 'life'. Drawing out the lace at her hips, Saki shifted this way and that, mesmerized by the flow of the dress; so silken, so soft, so beautiful. Could that really be her?

Going as far as saying she looked normal wasn't something she was willing to say, but it was possibly as close to normal as she could get if that were what she was trying. Perhaps it would be better to say: Saki remained unique with her style, her demeanor, but now she was a bit more approachable.

"She's right in here, Boss!" Mine's exclaimed, startling Saki around to face her.

Her eyes widened at the man the woman had dubbed 'Boss'. He was…extravagant; in almost every possible way she could think of. His hair fell in crisp, long waves of silver, his attire consisting more of romantic reds than masculine greens or blues. He approached her, his striking yellow-eyes opening and smiling as they scrutinized.

"Hmm…" circling Saki like a vulture, he lightly clomped around her form, his eyes assessing every detail; even those that seemed surplus if not just trifling. It was clear how seriously he took his creations as he gripped the hem of Saki's sleeve, checking for any precarious imperfections. The man finally stopped at a point, rested his shoulders and stood next to Mine'."

"Stunning Specimen. I do say Mine': you possess an ardent eye for beauty."

"A compliment, Sir?"

"Of course. A compliment where one is due." He paused, finger traveling to his chin as his employee danced around cheering "You couldn't have picked a more appropriate outfit for the child. Though I do say, you're skill is lacking in accessory. Accessorize more next time."

"Yes sir!" Her face bent with determination as she saluted dramatically to her superior "If I may ask, what did you have in mind?"

"SINCE YOU'VE ASKED! I can see her carrying a feminine lace embroidered umbrella; her hands refined by silken gloves. Her hair would be caressed with a floral barrette or a type of small top-hat which might be garlanded with smooth silk and a ribbon of lace."

"Oh! Now that you mention it I could see that too! Sort of an 'Elegant Stroll in the Park' theme."

"MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY, DARLING!"

Saki watched on as the two continued to converse, so caught up in their own little fantasies that both completely forgot the girl standing in the room, dressed in _their_ clothing. She looked around to see if she could find where the employee had placed the clothes she walked in wearing, but she had been too caught up in the fact she was being dressed rather than the subject of where the woman put her clothing.

Colorful conversation ensued, their words sounding more like squeaks and squawks rather than any articulated vocabulary Saki could think of.

Shifting away from the two, Saki sought her lump of clothing ostensibly without of view. There wasn't much to look around or even under though, the room presented was simply nothing more than a room. Outside of the room she was in, was a lounge area, though she hardly figured Mine' placed her clothes in there. The woman only left the room once and Saki couldn't recall her clothes being in her hands when she briefly departed. Then again, she could have carefully sneaked them out. She had been quite shocked with her own reflection to be paying attention to Mine'. Not that it really mattered all that much. Even if she eventually found her garments, she didn't have the means of paying for such a sudden session.

She blurted "I don't have my wallet."

"Excuse me?" Mine' asked, her eyes torn from her boss'; his reflecting similar confusion.

"I can't pay you. I don't have any money on me..."

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I just forced you in to all of this! Ayame can we-"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT" Ayame gestured with a wide sweep of his hands "We are losing FAR too many dresses without income for the shop with these wild incidents of yours. And while I commend you to the fullest, I cannot continue to condone it. Fetch the child's clothing."

"YES SIR!" The woman marched out of the room, any arguments pushed away by logical reasoning.

Ayame's eyes narrowed. "The wallet is a poor excuse, if I must say so, myself."

"Is it?" Saki remained impassive, her eyes void "I thought it worked quite well."

"Mine' is gullible, the poor dear. I, on the other hand, am not so easily swayed. Now be a prize and tell me: where's your funding?"

"I have none. Hatori's the only one who could-"

"HATORI?" He questioned, creeping closer to Saki in one swift movement. Had she blinked she might have not seen it. "You did say 'Hatori', did you not?"

She paused "I did."

"AH! MINE'-DARLING, TOSS HER CLOTHES! SHE'S WEARING THE DRESS!"

Mine' popped in with a wide-grin on her face, her head being the only body part visible from behind the door. "What changed your mind, Ayame-san?"

"SHE'S A FRIEND OF HATORI'S!"

"Oh my! I never would have guessed! What luck!"

"FABULOUS JOB, MINE'-CHAN!"

"ANOTHER compliment?" Mine' giggled as she stepped back out of the room "Yay!"

"Excuse me, but what does Ha-san have to do with any of this?"

"'HA-SAN'? HOW ABSOLUTELY ENDEARING! Mind if I use that in the future?"

"Uhm n-"

"NO, OF COURSE YOU DON'T!"

Saki sighed, her patience taxing thin with all of the constant outbursts and interruptions.

Ayame must have noticed the exchange because he immediately toned his voice down, covering his face delicately with his hand. "Forgive me. I tend to come on quite strong when I'm thrilled. Please, have a seat in the lounge and we can discuss this more properly."

Following his suggestion, Saki quietly brought herself in to the room and sat across from the strange man obviously looking for information. If things were to go her way, he'd get none. She didn't know what kind of relationship this man had with Hatori, but no matter what it was, he wasn't getting anything out of her.

"Have you seen Hatori?"

Her eyes widened, imagery of sea horses flashing to the front of her mind. She could play it off, right? After all, there was no way this 'Ayame' person could know Hatori's secret...unless...

"...I've seen him." She vaguely answered, pausing before she asked a query of her own "What's your last name?"

"Ah, so you HAVE SEEN HIM." Ayame chuckled "What's your name?"

"You never answered my question."

He blinked "So I didn't. But I don't believe I need to, do I? Instinct is a more potent answer after all. MINE'-CHAN!"

"Yes, Ayame-san?" Her voice was distant as if she were somewhere messing in the store-front. "BE A DEAR AND WATCH THE SHOP, WILL YOU?"

"YES SIR!"

"Hmm...back to your name."

"Hanajima."

"Hana-chan." Ayame tried the name on his tongue "MARVELOUS!"

Her eyes stared right through him, causing a shiver to envelope his spine as he sat frozen in front of her. She was an observant child, even her body language spoke of deep concentration as it remain unwavering, folded in the neatest of positions without so much as a twitch.

It was obvious she displeased of his mannerisms. Not to mention he immediately set her on the defensive by questioning about Hatori. In fact, she was very defensive on any matter involving the doctor. Ayame wondered if he asked another question, would she answer him truthfully or skip around it? Couldn't hurt much more to try; she already held a high opinion of him.

He decided it may make it easier on her if he phrased it in the form of a joke. "TELL ME, HANA-CHAN, ARE YOU MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY ADORABLE COUSIN?"

"I am."

Ayame froze, his hand's ascent to his lips stopped in the midst of the dying laughter. "Truly?"

"Madly."

"Deeply." He simpered "Either you're very honest or incredibly stupid."

"Mm...both. But I imagine you must be mad in some form to love someone. Especially someone you've barely just met. Perhaps that's the 'incredibly stupid' part of it all." Ayame smiled. He was starting to see why Hatori hadn't already killed contact with the girl. Probably became just as much infatuated with the child as she seemed to be with him. Doubtlessly, Ayame knew his cousin well enough to know that Hatori would be loathsome to admit such a thing.

"Tell me…have you heard anything about…his ex-fiancé?"

"Kana, you mean."

Ayame cringed "Good Lord. Will that man ever put that memory to rest?"

Barely, Saki smiled. "Probably not. He hasn't been able to pine about her for the past few days though."

"Ah, yes. So I've heard. Akito fell ill with a severe cold. At least he's over it now, maybe Hatori can get some rest."

Saki stopped, her eyebrows quirked in silent uncertainty as she mulled over Ayame's previous sentence. "Ha-san went back to the Sohma Estate this morning. He left a note saying Akito called."

"Hm?" Ayame lifted his head from his hand "Last I heard Akito was doing well and Hatori would be able to leave while scheduled to come back next week…that was yesterday afternoon."

Her stomach sank. Worrying her bottom lip non-too gently between her teeth, Saki felt the world tilt on its axis, sending her mind spinning. She should have seen it. The moment she looked at the note on the counter she knew something was wrong, but her exhausted mind left her perfectly unaware of her denpa or instincts. To congeal it in to one emotion: she ignored the fear tickling her neck and carried on the rest of the day, hoping it might just float away.

Needless to say, it never did.

Saki rose, her boots clacking against the surface of the floor with purpose as she turned to flee the way she came in. She no longer cared if she had to run the entire way, whatever it took, she _would _reach Hatori. A hand resting softly, yet gripping firmly enough to hold her immobile was the only thing that stopped her from doing so.

"Hana-chan…do you even know the directions to the Sohma Estate?"

"I'll find it."

He chuckled bitterly. Even Ayame could sense the trepidation in the girl; he supposed it harmonized the fear of his own. Hatori was in trouble and they both knew it. Still, none of this accounted for how foolish she was being. "And how do you propose you'll do that, my dear?"

"Denpa."

"Pardon?"

Saki dislodged the tightening hold on her arm; freeing it long enough to distance herself from the man she could only recognize as an enemy. He was trying to impede her; therefore he was not her friend.

"Denpa can direct me; much better than a man equipped with a vehicle and directions ever could."

And she was gone just like that. Her light dress being only residual color left in the waking of his eyesight.


	23. You Will Never Be

WARNING! Please read this first!

A/N: I changed the POV on you guys. It's now First Person; Saki. I have a reason as to why I did this, but I'll explain afterwards so I don't spoil anything. Carry on, CHAPS!

* * *

You Will Never Be (as cold as snow)

For what seemed like hours, my attention was entirely focused on reaching the Sohma Estate. I knew nothing of the roads I darted down, the paths riddled with bushes and trees. My entire being lent itself to the denpa which carried me like a stray feather against a gust of wind; I could've been nothing more than a marionette getting its strings pulled by Mother Nature.

When I finally came to my senses, I was huddled on the ground, my chest to my knees as sweat dripped from my face. My legs were raw, the balls of my feet panging in protest to walk any further. White hands contrasted against the grey of the asphalt I was crouched upon, the details of gashes, nicks and bruises more apparent against their background. The sleeves of my dress had its own share of disrepair, whilst more toward the middle of the garment remain clean and pristine. The rush of adrenaline and the numbness of allowing the denpa comprehensive power over my body wore off in minutes after I recognized my placing.

Sohma Estate loomed precariously in front of me, the shadow the gates cast shielding my crouching form. I was well aware of the clouds signifying a chance of snow, their grey oddity hanging ominously above and around the immediate area. Slowly, my sweat-slicked form lost its heat, the impending cold of premature snow warning my body to seek shelter.

Casting my eyes skyward, I examined the wall with more focus than I ever possessed in any school topic. Judging by the singular height of it all, there was no reason for me to believe I'd be able to scale the wall, but I was desperate and losing time. Running my hands down the smooth wood, I began to claw at any crevasse I could find, raking my nails to the point where blood started to drip down my hands. I ran my fingers raw, nails that I made sure to keep clean, tidy and exactly a half inch long forsaken to the wind as I yelled in dark protest for someone, _anyone_ to open the doors.

Gripping the wood I was starting to peel, I lifted a foot to push against the wall, hoping to start some sort of spider-man technique where all that remain were jumping from this wall, to a tree and finally swinging in to the courtyard.

Unfortunately, I wasn't spider-man; nor spider-woman. Pulled by gravity, my butt slammed upon the unforgiving ground, giving birth to new pain throughout my back and shoulders.

"Akito!" I screamed "Akito!"

Emotions held off by my sense of pride were beginning to dissolve in to madness. For the first time in my life I was starting to feel overwhelmed by the desperation and fear. Keeping cool and calm in the face adversity was something I took great achievement in. Yet here, when it came to Hatori, a man I loved, I wasn't calm. I wasn't the admirable child people could commend for keeping so quiet in the face of danger. I wasn't the child that was calm when tragedy struck. I wasn't a child anymore. More than anything, I was human.

And for the first time in my life, I _felt_ like it.

"Akito!"

"You're a _pesky_ witch."

I paused, my body freezing in their frantic movements. His voice was silken even with displeasure lacing his tone. A man like so could make anyone feel flattered while being completely and utterly disgraced. Or he could do the opposite: make one feel insulted while drenching his words with the sincerity of compliments. He seemed to be able to do many things to mask his ugly nature.

"Someone else will let you in and clean you up. Once you're properly dressed, then and _only then_ may you come see me."

"We'll talk. We'll talk _now_."

"You're hardly in the position to be giving_ me_ orders." His voice drifted distantly behind the door. He was leaving. "After all…Hatori's here…with _me_."

I cringed and bit my lip "I'll take it!"

"Take what, Witch-chan?"

"You're first offer."

Akito chuckled "I knew you would."

The gates opened, releasing a cold waft of air rushing towards me, but I ignored it as I quickly examined the inside of the courtyard. It was useless. I knew it, but I just couldn't force myself to liberate hope that I would wrap my hands around that malicious creature's neck. But by the time I was fully inside: Akito was already gone. In his place though, were two 'guards' coming out of the house. Instinctively I ducked away, running to the furthest point of the wall that appeared to go on forever.

I wasn't going to bother myself with frivolous details of who he might be sending after me. They weren't details that helped me find Hatori.

I glanced around, my eyes momentarily widening at the recognition of the high-walls and the sand garden just around the corner, a little further up ahead. Hatori's office would be there, overlooking the garden.

Blindly I chased the memory in my head, retracing the garden as I remembered seeing it from the inside. When I finally managed to find the place, I was sorely disappointed. I should've known, really. That he wouldn't be there. Akito wasn't dumb enough to allow him any further senses of freedom. Still I did happen to know my way around a fraction of the house if I exited from Hatori's office.

Creeping up on to the deck, I quietly slid the paper doors open with ease, sneaking inside and shutting the doors before anyone was the wiser.

I wanted to look around. My heart pulled at me, begging for my hands to pick up an object, any object that belonged to Hatori. But the examination would cost me time and be for naught as it was. Ha-san was not dead yet and I refused to consider him so. I didn't need any objects when the man was only a few feet away from me, hidden in the confines of this damning building.

Pressing my ear against the door of the shaded room, I listened for any movement or sounds of conversation. When I didn't pick up on anything, I carefully opened the door and peaked around its frame.

The coast was clear.

I ran head first in to the hallway, exposing myself completely, leaving nothing concealed as I risked it all. Briefly I passed a mirror, noticing the image of grim death that walked by as I did. I looked uglier than any nightmare a child could have conjured. And while appearance wasn't a priority, I wondered if I would end up scaring Ha-san with the new look.

"Yeah…well…he could be seeing things…"

Voices. None that I particularly recognized, I was too preoccupied with the probability of being caught to worry about whom they belonged to. And while at first I didn't completely register the fact that there were, indeed, other people in the building, I understood I might be in their chosen direction.

So instead of moving, I held my breath and listened as the voices got more discernible by the minute, speaking of the close proximity the individuals were to me.

The approaching conflict set my mind against a wall. Seeing blockades instead of solutions to the problem steadily arising, I mindlessly grabbed the handle of one of the various doors. While the panel jiggled, the door would not relent under my struggles. Time was running shorter as I was able to detect their soft chuckling.

I set out against the next door, pressing my body up against the panel as I used all of my strength to move it. Scratching friction vibrated against my hand as the panel proceeded to relent. In a last bout of strength I mad handle the door, throwing it open and immediately closing it behind me.

"You!"

It was sudden, unexpected, I startled immediately; jumping around to find Akito with his hand raised. I was taken by surprise when the smacking sound of flesh against flesh rang out in the otherwise silent room. My head jarred to the side, neck twisting in pain as I was sent to the floor. But I refused to remain there. Akito was used to obedience; I owed him no such respect. I pushed my body up while darting forward, staggering away from him to keep distance.

"Witch!"

A black film crept in and around my vision, momentarily blinding me as I rushed to get away from the enraged man. And as the darkness readied to close I realized I wasn't ready to give in yet.

In response, the denpa was, in a manner of speaking, screaming at me to keep awake. Little jolts of electricity zapped my body in to painful awareness, stabilizing my vision and mind.

"Where's Hatori?" I asked, calmly panting.

"As if I'd tell you."

"I want to see him." I had to keep at it persistently or lose my nerve. Akito wasn't a comforting presence to be around and I needed to see for my own eyes that Ha-san remain unharmed.

He scoffed, his face crunching into a twisted manifestation of pure hate. "...and I care how?"

"You do. Because Hatori's the only one..." I shook involuntarily, the sweat on my skin now cold and getting colder. "...who can erase my memories."

That made him silent. Akito's eyes sparked at the interest of my voluntary memory loss.

Suddenly, I remembered how Tohru told me about Akito in a roundabout way. She said there was still some good left inside of him; it was just a matter of bringing it out and making the qualities shine. But as I faced the man she spoke of, I saw a wounded soul so steeped in his own hate and suffering, he was beyond saving. He'd lived this way so long; mind corrupted since the beginnings of his days.

If anyone could save him, it _would_ be Tohru.

But Tohru wasn't here. And I was no savior.

"...I want him as my doctor though."

"_You're in no position to be giving me conditions!_"

"Then my memories will stay."

Once again he grew silent in his fury. Akito was smart enough to know I was right. I knew what he wanted, but if he wanted it so bad, he'd have to meet my requests first.

His chest expanded with the inhalation of a deep breath. Abruptly he turned, grabbed a vase standing on a table next to him and sent it whirling passed my head. I blinked as the hurtling vase crashed behind me, my hair being the only thing on my body disturbed by the outburst.

Akito huffed, his kimono draping open around his shoulder as his body stayed bent in the position of the throw. "_Make a deal with a devil...that's what you want me to do!"_

Instinctively, I took a step back, my boot crunching the remains of the shattered vase. Briefly I looked down then back up.

The whoosh of the opening door sounded as two men walked in. Hatori was one of them.

Shigure gasped, his eyes observing the situation in two swift glances before Akito's form dipped and darted at me. "Akito!" He cried, both he and Hatori running forward and subduing the man.

I staggered against the wall, facing my head toward the ceiling and closing my eyes. All I could think was: I'm so cold.

"Akito! Calm down!" Shigure growled, his form jerking as Akito tossed against the men.

"_No!_ Not until that _Witch_ is removed from my house! I knew something was wrong with her when I first spoke to her! I should've had her memories erased then!"

"Witch?" Hatori asked, baffled.

As I could only hear the huffing and puffing of the three, I decided to look back at the situation to see what was happening. I was met with Hatori's eyes boring in to mine.

"Saki?"

"Erase her memories, Hatori." Akito laughed darkly. "She wants it. Trust me."

His eyes reflected concern when he faced Akito, but they were down-right worrisome when they faced me. Could I really blame him though? I probably looked like horror movie cliché' with my bloodied finger tips, tattered dress and wild, matted hair.

I hated to say it. I dreaded saying this since the moment I met him because above all things: I didn't want to hurt Hatori. But I knew a dead end when I saw one.

"He's right." Was all I could force myself to say. Hatori's smart. He didn't need a longer explanation than what I'd already given him. It was over. Whatever messed up malfunction of a relationship we shared was done.

He swallowed hard, a grimace appearing fleetingly as he faced Akito. "I will commence the rest in private."

Akito grinned, shaking Shigure off of him the rest of the way. "Once you're done with her, Hatori, you may go back home."

"Hatori are you-" Shigure started, cut-off by the shake of Hatori's head.

"I'm sure."

Down cast, Shigure left the room, following Akito out.

Finally, I dropped. My back slid gently against the wall, dress slightly riding up as I fell to the floor. I was exhausted and more than anything, I just wanted this roller coaster ride to end.

Hatori ran forward, catching my hand in his as I went limp. He examined the blood stains and bruises with a careful eye, frowning at each individual lump and scar.

"Your hands..."

"Ironic." I voiced monotonously "They were just about done healing...and here they are messed up again."

"You never_ did_ listen to the doctor."

I paused, my purple eyes washing over him with sympathy. "I'm not gone, Ha-san."

"Not yet."

"Not at all."

He scoffed, obviously angry with me. It was apparent he had to resist the urge to toss my hand. Injuries never felt swell when tossed.

"I want you as my doctor when I forget you. I already told Akito."

"He won't be happy."

I smiled "He wasn't."

Hatori chuckled at the comment. "You'll do anything to get your way, won't you?"

"Have you known me not to?"

"I haven't known you." He said solemnly, repeating the desolate words I had once said to him over the days we spent together.

"And that's more apparent to you now."

"It's none of my business."

I lifted my hand to his face and caressed it, wincing at the sharp pain it caused me "_That's _exactly why I must do this."

Because when Hatori _could_ step closer, he stopped himself. I lifted my hands to my face, no longer ignoring the damage. When I wanted to reach him, I didn't stop. Not for one second. I refused to take 'no' for an answer. That was the difference between me and him. He was so willing to accept the cards he'd been dealt, while I'd rather toss them and try my luck on the next set. And if that didn't work: I repeated the process.

I switched my drifting gaze to the only window allowing light. "Hn. It's snowing."

Hatori cringed. "How convenient."

"I'm tired of this scene." I yawned "I think it's about time we got this show on the road else Akito will wonder."

"Damn Akito to hell." He growled, violently pushing away and opening a door to the outside for a better view. Or maybe the cold cleared his head.

Either way, I was freezing and wasn't fond of the gesture. "Close the door. It's cold."

"Shouldn't you be used to it by now? After all, you've been fine around me this entire time."

Begrudgingly I plucked my butt off the floor to wobble over to him. "You give yourself entirely too much credit. You'll never reach the temperatures of snow."

Without glancing at him, I stood next to him. Side by side; arm against arm.

"The dress...it looks..._different_ on you."

I hummed. "Different..? I thought so too."

He shook his head. "I meant to say, it suits you. It looks better than those dark clothes you normally adorn."

"For you to say that...Ayame and Mine' must really know their customers. Be sure to thank them for me, yes?"

"You saw them?"

"More by a twist of fate rather than denpa-induced. I was terrified when I met them."

Hatori chuckled. "Ayame can come on strong, but he has a good heart."

"I mostly meant Mine'-chan." I paused, thoughtfully "She was wonderful though."

He turned. A sad smile graced his features, pulling at the heart I was sure was in pieces by now. I tore it apart of my own accord; I didn't need him to make it ache too.

"Don't look at me like that." I reprimanded a bit harshly.

"I..." Hatori started, bringing my shoulders around to him. "...I...wish you well."

I frowned, tears licking the inside of my eyelids. I wouldn't cry for this. He could take his well wishes and shove it up his gorgeous memory-erasing rump. If he couldn't give me the one thing I wanted most then I was correct on my decision. I had no reason being here at all.

My vision was covered by his hand, coarse and large it was able to span over my entire eyesight, blocking even the smallest of lights. Out of pure rebellion, I kept my eyes open within the confines even though I was thoroughly unable to see anything.

His hand was warm over my skin. I wished he could hold me against his warmth, lending some of it to me. After all, he was being selfish not to. Still, I knew he couldn't. And above all, I knew he wouldn't if he could.

I heard as he inhaled an unsteady breath.

Distant chirping of birds filled my ears as Hatori remain still. Suddenly the warmth from his hand seemed to displace itself on my lips; pressing hard against the yielding buoyancy as I accepted. His lips tasted like the sweet ocean water I had tasted once before when he transformed. But that kiss was short and slightly disappointing when he pulled away. This time he started the reciprocation so I relished in it.

Now I could tell his lips were hard and tasting of salt. One minute they were firm, the next gentle. Coarse and then smooth. He deepened the kiss with every aching moment. His tongue moving in on a gasp, surging against mine and out again before I teasingly snapped my teeth shut. I felt him smile against me and despite myself…I began crying. He would be passionate if he allowed himself to be; like now. I could live with him being as he was in this one moment: honest and invested. I wished he would continue on like this without any interruptions from a heart filled with another woman.

Hatori parted, releasing my lips on a heavy breath. I inhaled slowly, dully whispering to him when I could no longer find my voice. "I love you."

A long silence passed between us before I heard him speak the words I didn't want to hear. "I know."

White sprouted from the middle of his hand, peaking my inquisitiveness until it grew wider and brighter. I closed my eyes to block the burning sensation of the light, but by then…

_…I was already gone._

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A/N: LAST CHAPTER OFFICIALLY COMPLETE!

Now, to explain my POV switcharoo: The entire reason I changed the POV was solely based on the separation. I wanted to portray Saki's decision to stop relying on others to get her through the day; Hatori being the obvious main focus. Making the decision to have her memories erased were entirely her own plans and therefore I wanted others to feel her sense of independence through the change of the writing. Hope I didn't make anyone too upset about this change.


	24. Epilogue: Come Hell or High Water

A/N: Hatori's POV

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**~EPILOGUE~**

Come Hell or High Water (I will have you)

Insomnia is something I am invariably used to. It is habitually remedied by the vats of paperwork littering my desk. However, my paperwork had started dwindling in both size _and_ number over the past few weeks; seeing the small pile that used to try the height of mountains, left me feeling vaguely erect in the horizontal office. Procrastination, and the tiny amount of paperwork to back up its excuse, did nothing to quell the sleepless nights and endless thoughts I am so accustomed to possessing though. On particular nights, nights such as these, I had to consult the interior of my car and the lulling hush of a silent road fabricated by asphalt to gain even a blink of sleep.

This was not uncommon, but it was not usual either. Moments like these namely occurred on days that were profligately stressful; and today had seemingly been exempt of that.

For the better part of the day, I showered, I dressed, I ate and I relaxed. Simple things that had escaped me for far too long, I had accomplished. This 'new' life was foreign to my sense of appeal. The curse having been broken was daunting, yes, but that by no means meant I was going to throw myself at the next woman that walked by just to prove it correct. No, I would not pull a Shigure; sans to him, I was going to have to testify in court.

Seems he was the only that didn't know 'Sexual Harassment' applied to hugging escapades.

It wasn't until mid-afternoon was I hit with a sinking feeling that would lead to my sleeps demise. In the small container at my condo building, confined by lock and key, mail waited for me as it normally did. I expected the usual scraps of bills, bank statements and perhaps a credit card company trying to get me to sign with them, but instead was greeted with a single, undersized envelope.

It was cream, elegantly spotted with flecks of grey and black. The flap was sealed with a gold sticker, an 'S' pressed into its middle. I raised a brow, wondering why I would get anything from another Sohma. I spoke to the ones closest to me as of recent and the ones that I didn't, or hadn't, would never send me something so formal in the first place. It just didn't suit them.

So upon entering my condo, I decided that, seeing as there was no other mail, one envelope had earned its right to be opened.

Seeing as I didn't want to rip the well-thought out particulars of the envelope, I decided to grab a knife from the kitchen and use in the same manner as one would a letter opener. Slicing the top, I pulled the outer edges apart to reveal the singular card inside. I extracted the card resolutely, turning its front to face me. As I read the greeting, my heart decided there was no better time than the present to jump off the cliff of my ribs to plummet in to the acid pool that was my stomach. How it managed that, I'll never know.

My eyes rolled over the words a few times before registering what the card was for and whom it was from.

'_In Honor of the Graduate: Hanajima, Saki'_

I had to scan it a couple more times, my eyes seemingly zooming in on the name, before my brain decided to catch up with my body. Saki; High-School; she was graduating? Surely, it hadn't been an entire year since she last 'remembered' me? I glanced briefly at the calendar perched on the podium separating kitchen and living room. Sure enough, the calendar proved my mind mistaken and the card correct. An entire year had passed since I last spoke to Saki. Well, one on one, really. I still saw her and spoke to her from time to time. Issued as her residential doctor by her parents and also having been 'ordered' by Akito to 'watch' her, gave me reason to see her once every blue moon. But now…now that Akito's orders rang null and void, I suppose I should consider it my time to leave.

Saki was graduating high-school, moving on to bigger and better things. What place did her _doctor_ have in her life? It was quite simple: No place. I had no place being near or around her anymore.

Shaking my head, I tried to ignore the ache that had spread up from the pit of my stomach, blossoming in to full-grown pain within my chest cavity that now lie empty due to my heart's previous activities. But obviously, ignoring didn't quite do the trick, otherwise I would not be thinking of ways to explain my pain.

With my head in my hands, I dropped the card. I didn't care where it landed; I didn't care if it burned. Because all I could think of when her name appeared in my life were those eyes; those luminous purple eyes, full of wisdom, yet bleak with obscurity; obscurity that told me: she had no idea who I was. And more than anything else…_that_ stung. She: one, who had accepted me despite my flaws, she: one who fell in love with me despite my inability to return those feelings and she: one who cried for me, when I deserved absolutely nothing of the sort. _She_, that girl, that _woman_, was gone. And I was the one responsible for erasing her.

I allowed myself to express my shame, my hurt within the confines of my own home; if I was comfortable doing such a thing anywhere, it was most certainly here. But the tears I cried were bitter ones. Producing from the very real need to hold her, the ability to be able to and yet the inability not to.

My situation was ironic if anything, really. Now that I was able to hold a woman within my arms, the one woman I desired most was no longer within my reach.

I opened my eyes, removed my hands and gazed at the remnants of mail on my floor.

This little envelope. This tiny envelope holding its equally dwarfed-sized card, led me to the seat of my car; to the path of my sleep-destruction.

Tossing the envelope to the passenger's seat, I rounded a curve and waited for the insomnia to take a back seat to drooping eye-lids, but the sensation had yet to overtake me. And so my drive continued.

As my day had dealt with the reminder of her; my mind wander to thoughts of Saki. Life without her was nearly as difficult as life _with_ her. The only downside of it is: there are no upsides. With Saki around, I found myself feeling a little lighter despite the heavy air between us that kept us apart. Mostly the resistance was on my part, I'm keen on admitting my mistakes, still that didn't excuse her from the equation. She was just as afraid to trust as I was. And I hadn't seen it until it was too late.

I happened to notice a lot of things 'too late', mind you.

For a while, I was consumed by thoughts of the 'what ifs' in life. What if I had seen her feelings sooner? What if I refused to erase her memories? What if I had never gone for a drive that night, when she ran in to the road?

In fact, that night had been on a night very similar to this one. I was, at that time, suffering from the same sort of insomnia needing the very same healing methods as this one: a night drive that lulled me to sleep.

Those days my worries all centered around Akito; my insomnia plaguing me after a particularly harsh day dealing with the Sohma. Or in some cases: Sohma_s_.

No matter, I'm jumping issues here. In continuation: I often thought of 'what if' I had done something differently. But after a while, I learned that I probably would never do things differently. Seeing as I hadn't learned from the first mistakes I made with the woman I first fell in love with, it was really no surprise I had done much the same with Saki.

I sighed, hitting my head rest as harshly as I could manage. No, that wouldn't knock any sense in me. Gods know how hard I'd tried before.

It wasn't until long after midnight that I felt my limbs drop an inch or two from their resting place, my eyes staring vacantly ahead and my mind barely registering lights and signs. Carelessly, I was awoken from this demeanor by a passing driver that honked at me for having my blinker on, but never moving when the light turned green. Not that I cared, I came out on the road for this purpose. If I had finally accomplished my goal, then the next step to my seemingly endless night would be turning around and heading home.

Which is precisely what I did: I turned around, went straight home and flopped on my bed.

Without turning on lights or even changing clothes, I fell in to my bed and drifted off to sleep; all the while dreaming that I held Saki in my arms.

XXXX

That morning, I woke with the ever-unpleasant ring of my phone as well as the feeling of my eyes crusting themselves closed. Regardless, I peeled them open only to realize, they hadn't; they just felt absurdly irritated.

After rubbing the hell out of my eyes, I snatched up the phone in mid-growl, shoving the receiver to my ear. I grunted something incoherent, even to my understanding, in to the phone and listened to an enthusiastic laugh respond.

Perhaps a little_ too_ enthusiastic; I immediately knew who it was.

"I told you never to contact me through my cell-phone unless it's an emergency, Aya."

Another bellowing laugh escaped my old friend's mouth, giving me a clear image of him holding a hand to his mouth as he expressed his amusement at my expense.

"O HATORI-SAN! You're positively ADORABLE! You think I'd forget what you told me? This_ is_ an emergency!"

I scratched the hair atop my head, wondering slightly how, when I pulled my hand away, no locks came with it. With a sigh I covered my eyes and relented. "What is this…'_emergency'?_"

"That better not be doubt I hear in your voice, Ha-san!"

"Wait…what did you call me?"

"'Ha-san'? What, do you like it? It's CHARMING, I know, a nickname expressing how much I ADORE you, it fits quite well, no?"

"Uh…sure. Continue?"

"On what?"

I blinked. "The _emergency_…"

"O HOW BRAZEN OF ME TO FORGET! Really, it's not very tidy to say over the phone, so why not just head down to the shop, sound fair?"

"I don't know if 'fair' would be the correct-"

"TA-TA, HA-SAN!"

Click…aand dial-tone.

With Ayame, things never changed and most certainly, never got old.

More awake than before (Ayame's personality had a tendency to affect people that way), I put on my jacket and put on my shirt. _In that order_. I forgot I slept in my shirt and also hadn't realized the 'shirt' I pulled on was my jacket and the 'jacket' I pulled on was yet another shirt. Perhaps I wasn't as awake as I gave myself credit for.

I rid myself of the extra shirt and kept on my coat. Not the coat that screamed 'I'm-a-doctor', but a more subtle brown one. I figured Ayame wore enough clothes that screamed various obscenities. It seemed detrimental that I take something with me that toned down such an encounter; else we both be silently screaming. And, truth be told, I had a headache enough as it was from just the phone call.

On the verge of calling Ayame back and cancelling, I shook my head and walked out the door. An 'emergency' was an emergency. Even if it was coming from Ayame; no, that didn't fit quite right. _Especially_ if it was coming from Ayame…emergencies could pop up out of thin air.

XXXX

The door beeped as it slid open, vacancy greeting me as I expected. If Ayame was waiting for my arrival it didn't show; which was odd in itself. I stood there looking around, half-expecting him to jump out from one of the various aisles trying to scare me, but nothing.

So I did what any sane man would do: I sat down and stalled the inevitable meeting. If he or his equally crazed employee hadn't heard me then luck was on my side. It was much like the setting of an oncoming storm; always calm right before the lightning strikes.

"I'm going to check the front, Ayame-san. I think I heard a customer walk in."

Here comes the thunder.

"Excuse me, but we are closed at the moment, come back to—OH MY!" Mine-chan gasped mid-stride, her eyes widening and shining at the recognition of my presence. Politely I nodded, unable to manage a thing before…

"WHO IS IT DARLING?"

And here comes the lightning.

"HA-SAN! WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE!"

"You called me here."

"OH THAT'S RIGHT! The emergency! Come, come! Mine-chan, be a dear and watch the door for me, will you?"

"Yes sir! I'll do my best!"

"FABULOUS!" Aya clapped, reaching out to grab my arm as he whisked me away in to the back room of the shop. Vaguely I remembered that this was the room he dragged his patrons to in order to dress them or measure their sizes. I grimaced and hoped the 'emergency' didn't involve the previous.

Finally reaching the room, Aya shut the door and, in his fashion, dramatically drew the curtains closed around us. I sighed. "Really, Aya, what is this all about?" My patience has been officially expanded with his 'chase-me-down and you get your answer' games. I'd been wondering for the better part of an hour just what fetish of mine was in question.

"You." He paused "Her. I'm worried that you're making the same mistake, Ha-san."

Oh. Just that one. "I don't know what you have to be worried about, Aya. Kana is off and married, she only came back to the office last month to show her husband where she got her start. Until then I hadn't thought of her."

"Not Kana-chan. _Hana-chan_."

Oh shit. _That_ one.

"Tohru-chan informed me that their graduation ceremony is later today. I think you should go."

I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could make a clear defense. "That part of my life has passed. Saki is in good hands wherever she goes."

"You mean to say: she's fine in another man's hands?"

Yes. She was. She _is._ Only in _my_ mind was she not.

The words wouldn't cross paths with my lips. I couldn't say it. I loved her. I _love_ her. She was everything. I would have given her _anything_. Damn. I am _so messed up_.

"Ha-san…you love her."

"And when you love something it's best to let it go."

Ayame raised his hands and threw them to his side. "FOR GOODNESS SAKES! If what you love is A BIRD, Ha-san, then yes!"

"Maybe that's exactly what Saki is."

"NO. She is NOT." Ayame grabbed my shoulders and twisted me to face him, his yellow eyes piercing in their gaze. I could finally see his eyes holding the similarity of a snake's. His personality out-shined any of his features making him seem nothing like the snake that he was born to be. But now, after inciting his vast determination and anger, the hunter stalking its prey showed visibly. How had I ever missed it? "Hana-chan is like a rare flower. Despite thorns surrounding its roots, it manages to blossom, but if you smother it with more thorns it will only wilt and die. Will you be the thorn that kills her, Hatori?"

"Probably."

He dropped his head and sighed. "At least go to the graduation for Tohru-chan, will you?"

"I plan on going for both her _and_ Saki."

"REALLY?"

Bleakly I gazed at Ayame. He _really_ did get his hopes up entirely too quickly. "Yes; to congratulate them both and to inform Saki that she no longer needs my 'doctor' inquiries or observations."

He chuckled. "Ha-san you never change."

"As neither do you."

"Touche'." He stretched, getting up and standing before me. "But at least I'm not masochistic enough to cause myself pain every time I meet a person I love."

I winced. Yeah, it hurt. It was nothing less than the truth though. I love her so much I've convinced myself that the only way to console the need and make everything better was to let her go.

I nodded, dropping my head once more in my hands. "I love her, Ayame."

He paused. "More than Kana?"

Swallowing hard again, I tried my luck on breathing. I was able to exhale. "Yes." I whispered and promptly inhaled.

I felt his hand caress the top of my head, yielding and warm. But, for once, Ayame had no expressions to give me, because there never is anything one can say when you're life is a garbage compost of "what ifs" and the one you love was never meant to be yours in the first place. I didn't blame him. I couldn't have. I just clung to his hand.

Because if he ever let go…I would have too.

XXXX

Ceremonies are often meant to be ceremonious. Yet had I the chance to describe the graduation as such, I would _not_ use that term. No, my opinion ran along the lines of: unnecessarily elongated, extremely explicit and a tad over-glorified. Not to mention musical; I understood and respected the traditions of our culture, but singing was not in my, nor others, best interest. For the sake of _everyone's_ hearing.

I made my way to the exit as soon as the graduation had commenced. It was one thing for me to be there for Saki; it was another entirely for her to _see_ me. I knew, had learned in that brief time with her, that she had no need to see me to know that I was there. Her denpa would lead her to such a conclusion. And I figured with all the commotion of parents and friends, she would have no desire to meet up with her _doctor_.

"Hatori." The voice sent chills rushing up my spine, gracing the back of my neck and only stopping as it reached the top of my cranium.

Obviously, I had 'figured' wrong.

"Saki," I started, bowing my head "Congratulations."

She waved off the compliment as soon as it left my mouth, the over-usage of it setting a dull gleam in her eyes. "I didn't think you would come. More than just 'congratulations' would have to entice you in order for you to be here…or is that just wishful thinking on my part?"

My brain questioned her question as I didn't understand the full meaning of it, but it was easy enough to shrug off and continue with the pleasant banter that I hadn't gotten from her in such a long time. I missed it; perhaps, a little too much.

"I admit: 'congratulations' wasn't the first thing on my mind. But I figure, as your doctor, it's only right that I inform you of our cancellations."

"Killing two birds with one stone."

"Precisely."

She hummed "So then, what is this 'cancellation' you're talking about?"

I paused, gazing at her as she stood before me; her brow raised in question, her stance erect, but leaning slightly. It must be that sleeping pattern of hers. I remembered her mentioning such a problem with sleep, how she managed to get any, though, was beyond me. In her gown (I don't say 'cap' as she had that specific accessory grasped in her hand) she looked beautiful. It suited her well enough: white and crisp. Not the Victorian-styles I had become accustomed to her wearing, nonetheless she remain gorgeous.

Shaking the thoughts from my head I answered her "The cancellation or relinquishing of my position as your doctor. You have no need for 'monitoring' any longer."

Without word, Saki nodded. If I were a romantic, I'd say the light she held in her eyes: dimmed, I'd say the expression that she wore: dropped and I'd say the hand that held her cap: clenched. Alas, I am not a romantic. And she: did nothing of the sort.

Saki nodded without a word, without an expression. Her parents walked over to greet her, greet me, and congratulate her while thanking me for coming. Once done exchanging words and meaningless life banter, Saki dipped behind her parents, pulling them aside.

Taking that as my cue to leave, I headed back out towards the school side-walk, where I haphazardly parked, and strode up to my car.

I was opening the door when her hand touched mine. I jerked my hand away, the touch feeling foreign to me; as any touch would have, I more or less kept to myself since her departure. "Saki…"

"My parents left without me."

My eyes widened at the surprising news before scaling back down to size "That's…terrible." Well, what else was I _supposed_ to say? Call it insensitive, but I didn't want to carry her with me. I just announced my leave of her not but six minutes ago.

She sighed. "You're a gentleman. Take me home."

I stood in silence for a few moments as I processed this entirely new proposition. Next thing I knew we were on the way to Saki's parent's house in my car.

You may be asking yourself: is he really _that_ easy to cave?

Why, yes, _yes I_ _am_.

XXXX

For the next half hour my attention was focused on solely trying to hear the talk-show radio above the hum of the engine. My eyes watched the road as lights changed, cars passed and signs emerged, but my mind was focused on the fact that I was alone in a car with Saki, her memory of me: non-existent. The fear that I might say something pertaining to our past encounters was suddenly very real.

I decided silence was my best approach. Saki didn't seem like she was too anxious about conversation either as we sped down the road. Her gaze focused solemnly out the window and in to a cold spring's day. The air hadn't warmed up much yet, though it was slowly starting to. Days like this often reminded me of when Saki and I met; but mostly so of when we parted.

When we met it had been spring, barely warm enough to keep her from contracting hypothermia during one of the seasonal downpours. She had fallen harshly to the ground in front of my car; her body motionless by the time I reached her.

For a while I debated on whether it had been a good thing that I found her. At times it seemed I was plagued by her memory, wishing that I'd never met her in the first place…and then other times I'm only happy to have spent the little time I did with her. In many ways, her personality and moods opened my eyes as well as my mind. But if there was something most important that Saki taught me above all else, it was that: Love knows no age.

Seems even at _my_ age, you're never too old to learn something new.

My brakes squealed in protest as I pulled the car in to park, having arrived at the destination in the midst of our silence. They were in dire need of a change, but I hadn't the time (nor the will to power the need) to take my car to the mechanic for a replacement in brakes. One could argue that 'not having time' was just an excuse to cover up my fear for the mechanic finding more than one problem with my reliable vehicle. I would say: they're probably right. It didn't matter much to me because my car was still able to get me from point A to point B. As long as it did that, I had no need for a mechanic and his fancy brakes. Besides, my old ones still work…they just whine a little.

Reaching my arm under the side of the steering wheel, I gripped my key, subduing it in a flick so it would kill the engine. Noises of my car, both normal and concerning, died beneath my hand settling in to latency as I leaned back, listening to the jingle of my keys until that, too, faded.

She stayed silent; so I spoke. "I believe this is your stop."

Her eyes rose, pulling away from the excitement her lap held and gluing themselves to examine her house. "It _does_ _look_ that way."

Ignoring the comment, I opened my door and slid out of the vehicle, promptly shutting it before marching my way over to her door. My hands were steeped in the insides of my coat pockets. The air was chilly for the returning warmth that was supposed to be forthcoming. I wondered briefly if it might snow.

Pulling the door handle, I wrestled the door open, allowing a cold current of air to waft in to my car and on to Saki. She mentioned nothing though. All she did was glance up at me, grab her cap and drag her body, as though it were a hassle, out of the vehicle.

"I'll walk you to the door." I said, giving her no arguing matter in this conflict between myself.

I was debating goodbye methods on the short walk. How did I want to say 'goodbye' to her? If I were being honest with myself, I would want to tell her that I loved her and wished her well. But to keep from scaring her, I would most likely just say 'it was wonderful having you as a patient', 'come see me again if you need me', or rather just simply 'goodbye'. The others were a little too talkative since 'I love you' no longer existed as an option.

Letting her lead as we reached the door, she turned around to face me, the backdrop: the entrance of her home surrounded by snow foretelling clouds and departing wishes.

'Goodbye', I said. Or…I thought I said. My mouth formed the words, but my voice never lent me an ear. Producing the sounds to annotate words, to speak occasions and to occasionally speak, was not coming to my beck_ or_ call. I stood there, gaping like a dumb-founded fish that just realized it was gasping in oxygen, not water.

A smile ghosted across Saki's lips as she watched the fiasco taking place before her, but (thank god) she said nothing about it. Instead she took a step forward and pulled me to her.

That's right: she _hugged_ me. And I never transformed.

Her arms wrapped tightly around my torso, her warmth crawling around my body like delicate, yet strong-willed vines; her heartbeat blossoming like a flower amongst the greenery which coiled itself around my body. I glanced at the head lying on my shoulder, rising as I heard her breathe in. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing what an embrace felt like. I wanted this, for an entire year, my body _craved _this. And now that I had it: I stood stone-cold like a statue. More than marble, more than ice, I was solid, frozen and empty. My thoughts escaped me as my mind let itself be ruled by sensation.

I could think nothing of her hands clenching and slowly releasing the coat material on my back only to grip it tightly once more; I could think nothing of her chest receding only to push back against my torso as she breathed; I could think nothing of her hair as it cascaded down the side of my shoulder smelling of morning dew and iris'. But I could _feel_ it all.

When at last, more so tragically, she pulled away, the smile on her lips was both warming and disconcerting. For, if I didn't know any better, she had a little something up her sleeve.

"Greetings are at their best, when in the form of an embrace."

My eyebrow quirked. Greeting? When did this little escapade go from a goodbye to a salutation?

She continued. "No less an embrace where one does not 'poof' in to a creature of the zodiac's choosing."

I froze and Hell just froze over with me.

And while all I could do was stare, Saki had turned away and headed inside of her house. My mind caught up with time and begun screaming at me to say something to her, but I had nothing practiced. I wasn't aware that she was aware of everything. For an entire year she remembered everything and here I was, still reeling in the aftermath.

Still, I couldn't let her go without saying_ something_. Anything. _Now._

"Sa..ki?"

She laughed softly. I'd never heard her laugh like that. It was refreshing. "Ha-Na-Ji-Ma. Did you forget already? Hmm, and here I thought _I_ was the one with my memories erased."

"You...didn't forget-" I sounded like a fool in all honesty. I couldn't articulate my words or even create an accurate sentence. A cat held my tongue. Or in this case: a Saki.

"I did. For the better part of a month. Once the damage had been done and the dust settled, denpa decided to kick in and jolt my memory."

"How?"

"I don't know. It does what it wants, mostly. I suppose it was being cynical. Leave me with the aftermath of my choices. But they _were_ mine. In a way, it possessed the rights to do so."

After she decided to answer in her own confusing fashion, I became slightly aggravated. All this time. All this time she remembered and not _once_ did she inform me of this finding. Was it so important to leave me out of the loop? I had a feeling it had been her scheme for quite some time. One of her plans along the way. For a while now, I'd held this gut feeling she'd done this to toy with my emotions. But I absolved it by convincing myself I was blaming her to simply overcome the turmoil of my own mistakes.

And then I researched in to the phone call she had supposedly made to her 'brother' one night when we resolved on living together for my family secret's benefit and her life's. Instead, the minx had searched through my contacts and promptly dialed Akito. I found out later by Akito's raging that she _had_ called him to reveal how much of our secret she had knowledge of. Almost as if in bragging. It both infuriated him and gave him reason to demand the erasure of her memories.

I, for most of the year, had been unaware of this detail. Therefore I remained susceptible to all things involving Saki. I discovered the love buried in me for her as well as the tears for release of such a loss.

Seeing her now, standing here in front of me, smiling, happy; it made my blood boil and the emotions resurface. I was over-joyed and angry; relieved and infuriated; optimistic yet somehow upset.

_She remembered...**everything**._

It shames me to say so, but it pleased me to see the surprise in her eyes as I gripped her shoulders with punishing force and, before she could protest, brought her lips hard against mine.

Above everything I discovered over the past two years, I re-discovered that I was a man with wants and needs. Wants and needs involving the woman: Hanajima, Saki. I'd be damned if I let her slip from my grasp a second time.

I bruised her, I bit her. Never in my life had I been so brutal or raw with a woman. I was a gentlemen. I courted, I pleased and I was polite in every manner. With Saki, I lost all of my thoughts and reasoning, reverting to primal instinct. I wanted to be ashamed, but I wasn't. Instead, I was more worried she wouldn't accept this new side of me; the side I had never unleashed.

A horn blared and I practically jumped out of my skin as I came crashing back to reality.

She smiled against me, laughing quietly as I ran a hand through my hair aggravatingly and glared at the departing vehicle down the road. "You find this all...very amusing, don't you?" I huffed, my hands supporting my weight against the wall, caging her in the small given space.

Saki licked her bleeding, kiss-swollen lips. "You've forgotten...or moved on. I can't decide which."

I quirked a brow "Excuse me?"

"About Kana...Have you thought of her lately?"

A strange question to ask after such an intimate display of affection, but it struck me to the core nonetheless. Kana...I _hadn't_ thought of her. And after thinking such a sentence, I felt no feelings of regret for having _not_ thought of her. The one that filled every corner and crevasse of my mind was Saki. She left me so abruptly, so voluntarily that it left me feeling a torrent of emotions I never wanted to feel again. Emotions that had pushed Kana out of sight. If I ever gave the past woman a thought, it had been because Ayame brought her up in conversation.

"No. No, I haven't."

She tilted her head "Do you regret that?"

I shook my head soundlessly and repeated "No."

Saki smiled. "I love when plans work."

* * *

A/N: THE END

Thanks for sticking with this story til it's ending and always waiting for the next update despite how long I may have took. This fic has been tons of fun, and the best part, hands-down, has been reading your reviews, so I would LOVE to hear from you all one last time! 83

In hopes that I may hear from some of you in future fics, happy writings and reviewing! :D


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